Voyager Caption This: Looking for Love

[Evil Twin]

Last round's winner, by popular demand:

Neelix is telling the story...

...of what really happened to the Borg baby.

And your prize:

Kitchen utensils... of the FUTURE!

Up next:

 

[Gertch]

Ensign Kim: "No no no. Do you have someone a little thinner and younger?"

It was always amusing to catch the doctor in an emergency index defrag.

 

[Rat Boy]

Seven: "Not him. What about Commander Chakotay?"

Kim: "Him? What could you possibly have in common with him?"

Jeri Ryan makes the mistake of asking Bob Picardo to sing her newborn baby to sleep.

 

[Kirby]

Seven was mildly impressed when the Doctor belched the entire alphabet in binary code.

 

[CaptainJon]

By the 24th century, the methods for looking for gigolos hadn't changed much.

 

[Turd Ferguson]

Kim: Oh my God! We've got to inform Captain Janeway! That planet is on an intercept course with what appears to be the personnel dossier of Ensign Doug Bronowski!

 

[Santa Kang]

Harry: I'm thinking we modify the search parameters a bit next time.

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Seven: "Assimilated"
T800: "Terminated"
Seven: "Assimilated"
T800: "Terminated"
Seven: "Assimilated"
T800: "Terminated"
Seven: "Assimilated"
T800: "Terminated"
Seven: "Assimilated"
T800: "Terminated"
Seven: "Assimilated"
T800: "Terminated"
Kim: "Let's call the whole thing off."

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Seven: "There is hope Ensign Kim. Doug Bronowski has been at his current rank for ten years without promotion."

Kim: "So I'm not totally lame?"

Seven: "I did not say that. Ensign Bronowski has had sex."

EMH: "Laaaaaaaaaaaaa... Well?"

Seven: "You believe that borg nanoprobes will help you hold the higher notes for longer?"

EMH: "Can you help?"

Seven: "I believe that you will get better results from an anal probe."

 

[EliyahuQeoni]

Spock's sensitive Vulcan ears just couldn't take the Doctor's renditions of Klingon Opera.

 

[Kegek]

Seven: And this, Ensign Kim, is the only crewmember on Voyager who has less personality than you do.

After some 'adjustments', Seven found that the Doctor made a wonderful mezzo-soprano.

 

[Michael]

Seven: Simple graphics combined with an antiquated peripheral control device. Kind of ... intriguing, I might add.
Kim: Really? I don't see what all the fuzz was all about.

Asking for some help on the sensor array was just Ensign Kim's twisted plan to lure Seven of Nine into watching "2 Girls 1 Cup". Naturally multiple holocams where ready to film her reaction.

 

[Triskelion]

Harry: "Congratulations Ensign Dougie. You just volunteered for this week's Redshirt slot."
Seven: "I'll inform the Captain. The away team to the Planet of Public Diplays of Lust and One Giant Roving Landshark is complete."

 

[Triskelion]

So this is what a nanoprobe feels like? No wonder you require so much regeneration!

 

[Rat Boy]

Seven: "No."

 

[Michael]

Seven: Why am I holding cymbals?

 

[Candlelight]

Kim: "This is the most bizarre urinal I've ever been in"

Seven: "Er... Harry..."

Seven watches as the Doctor, in the one week he actually becomes human, insert a cafiter into his penis.

 

[LeadHead]

Kim: Man, his Facebook page sucks.

Seven: Doctor, you said you had come up with an opera, may I hear it?
Doctor: Certainly Seven, (Humms to warm up)
(Pause)
Doctor (singing) Please state the nature of the Medical Emergency...

 

[Finngle Bells]

Seven: Tom Paris informed me that presenting a holoimage of a handsome male may be the only way to get your clothes off so you can demostrate inimate behavior with me.

 

[Michael]

Kim (waiting): So, have you finally decided which Elite Force character you want to play with?