Voyager Caption This: Awkward Moment

[Evil Twin]

Last Round's Winners:

SciFi75 said:

Chakotay: I've been demoted! I've been assigned to Guy Who Sweeps The Shuttle Bay Floor. Is that even a real position?

Neelix: Considering the effort you put into being a Commander, I would consider it a promotion.

The Laughing Vulcan said:

Janeway: "It's called a screen saver."

Chakotay: "But it looks just like..."

Janeway: "Warp drive, yes. Our duty is clear. We have to go back in time and kill Bill Gates. The timeline musn't be contaminated."

And your prize:

Look, I'm not even sure what all this
does, but you're welcome to find out.

Up next:

 

[Nebusj]

Despite the suddenness of the crisis a level-headed Paris was able to smuggle out his harmonica.

 

[Quo Vadimus]

Tom (to self): I can't believe it, she stink-palmed me!
Belanna (to self): That will teach him to stare at the Delany sisters' asses in my presence!

Hell hath no fury...

 

[Squiggy]

While the aliens took everyone else's commbadge...for some reason they took Tuvok's pants.

 

[Rat Boy]

Paris: "Of all the times to be abducted with the rest of the crew."

B'Elanna: "Shut up, you weren't that good."

 

[Brennyren]

Rat Boy said:

B'Elanna: Oh God, Tom, help me! My nipples are freezing!
Tom (to self): Of all the times to have cold hands....
Guy Leaning Forward in the Back (to self): Maybe I should offer to help.

Brennyren

 

[BriGuy]

B'Elanna: But, Tom, didn't you know - I'm a lesbian.

Tom: Well, that explains a lot...

 

[Squiggy]

Just moments before Voyager extra 341 was to go off script and make his mark as Hollywood's "Next New Thing", a stagelight fell on him - killing him instantly.

 

[BorgBabe]

The rest of the crew giggled in anticipation of Tom and B'Elanna's reaction. Since the captain's had ordered the destruction of their crop of hemp.

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Hey, I won one
I'll have to remember that for future reference, Killing Bill Gates is funny, killing Bill Gates is funny...

B'Ellanna: "We're trapped. There is a duct leading to the control centre, but it's tiny, unless we have a six inch crew member."

Paris: "I know, I can pull out my tongue, it's autonomous and can get through the gap and..."

B'Ellanna: "Detach your tongue?"

Paris: "Yeah, ever since we tried breaking Warp 10, it's had a mind of its own, flexible too."

B'Ellanna: "And you didn't think to tell me that."

Paris: "Well it is kind of icky and personal."

B'Ellanna: "You didn't think to tell me, your girlfriend, who gets lonesome on those long engineering shifts, that you could..."

Paris: "You want five minutes with the tongue before we send it through the duct?"

B'Ellanna: "Yes please"

 

[Candlelight]

The buffed ensign on the right hoped no one would notice the cute blonde ensign had been holding his penis.

 

[NathanielM]

Tom (to self): Oh my god that yeoman's skirt is caught in her underwear! *thinking* control CONTROL Tom...!

Belanna : ZAPS herself with tazer. "Stop looking at the cute guy butts *ZAP* Stop looking at the cute guy butts..."

Woman behind thinking: I wonder if he knows i got something in my hand I shouldn't have.

Man gasping quietly.

 

[Kegek]

His tongue had fallen out, the 'Threshold' pattern was repeating. All Paris needed now was to find a woman willing to become a salamander and spawn his children...

 

[DizzyMan]

The crew step back as Tom makes the mistake of playing his harmonica to a Klingon on her period.

 

[Kieran]

"I was drunk, naked, the hot tub water was COLD and there was SHRINKAGE. Every female on Voyager has seen this image"?

 

[Kadratis]

Even Seven had nightmares of the Caption This! thread.

 

[MeanJoePhaser]

"Tom tried to ignore it, but B'Elanna's Coke addiction was becoming more obvious to the crew."

 

[SciFi75]

(My first win. Thank you. Now keep your eye on that smiling guy in the background)

Starfleet Survival Tip #12

If you have been captured by ruthless aliens, had your commbadges taken away and if you are freezing and hungry then find the annoying happy guy on the away team who tells bad jokes and talks too much. No one will miss him if you eat him.

 

[WeAreTheBorg]

NathanielM said:
...

Woman behind thinking: I wonder if he knows i got something in my hand I shouldn't have.

...

OMG nice