Voyager Caption Contest #68: Happy New Year!

[Yeoman Randi]

Happy New Year fellow Voyagers! Here's to the last contest of 2011....time to announce da winnas!

Winning the vintage game show award we have:

Bolian (thinking): I'm the secret square!!!

Yeah....sorry to tell you this buddy but i don't think she's gonna be giving this up anytime soon....

Guy: "Well now, I know what this is for! So, tell me, Katie, is this my only competition?"

This was a serious spew contender!

After the Doctor's memory deteriorated, the crew decided to raise him from a mental infant. Here's his 1st birthday.

Wait just a minute. Is THIS what Picard meant all along.....?

Seven: The commbadge patch is functional, so you will be able to stay in constant contact with your child.

Paris: ...And that's great until the first number 1.

Pockets!! These uniforms never have pockets!!

Pink Lady, 50 credits. Toasted almond, 80 credits. Martini, 120 credits. Remembering your wallet, priceless.

I nearly choked on my morning breakfast when i saw this awesome 'shop:

Let's face it, the marketing department will put the show's name on anything.

And this week's Morning Cawfee Spew goes to Santa Kang for this wonderful caption:

And that's the way they became the Brady Bunch.

Thank you to everyone who played and a big old congratulations to all the winners! You guys rock!


And now, here is the first caption contest for 2012. May the new year bring lots of joy, good health and peace.

As always i will try to give this two weeks time to brew. Sometimes life gets in the way and for that i do apologize and thank you for your constant patience! In the meantime, have a happy and safe new years eve, caption away and engage!

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Thanks for the win, Yeoman Randi!

Seven: "Tom Paris said if I really wanted to give you what you really needed for your birthday, I should give you a screaming orgasm. So I looked up the recipe in the ship's computer."

 

[LeadHead]

Thanks for the win and Happy New Year!

Announcer: 3.....2.....1......

Random: Guy: HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Announcer: Voyager has returned home!

Random Guy: Ooops.

Neelix: Ah, so it was you who drank up the holiday brandy.

Doctor: (thinking) This one's for the Refrigerator.

Zimmerman: (thinking) This one's for the paper shredder.

Janeway: Computer, end program.

Cadet: Admiral, can you comment about your involvement in the Fair Haven Holoprogram?

Barclay: (to himself) This should be good...

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Doctor: Captain! You're terribly tense. And you're wearing a toilet seat on your head. I recommend immediate therapy!

Janeway: I've called this press conference to announce that whoever designed this pathetic excuse for a uniform is to be executed IMMEDIATELY.

Barclay: (mumbles): Awk-WARD!

 

[Nerys Myk]

JANEWAY: Ooof!!!

EMH: Sorry, I accidentally accessed my WWE subroutine.

 

[LeadHead]

Random Guy: Oh, no! The Dick Clark robot just broke down!

Random Girl: Our New Years is ruined!

Random Guy: Activate Emergency New Years Rockin Eve Hosting Program.

Ryan Seacrest: Please State The Nature of the Hosting Emergency.

 

[Herkimer Jitty]

Doctor: "Now, relax. And try to remain perfectly still. While I kill you."

 

[Bob Karo]

Janeway: ... and there we were, stranded on the other side of the Galaxy with a 75 year journey home.

Cadet Thibedeaux (os):raises hand: Why not use a timed fuse or a small team to destroy the caretaker array?

Reg: Do you even want to pass this class, kid?

 

[Herkimer Jitty]

"Aw shit, that means the next episode will be the pilot for Enterprise."

 

[Isis]

Yeoman Randi, thanks for the win!

Audience member (OS): "What's the most valuable piece of advice you can give about being marooned in the Delta Quadrant?"

Janeway: "If you want to keep gray hairs to a minimum, don't pick up any random Talaxians."

 

[Nerys Myk]

REG (thinking): A two hour speech and still nothing about me. Not even a thank you. I should have let them rot in the Delta Quadrant.

 

[LeadHead]

Cadet: (offscreen) So, you were turned into a huge lizard, can you describe what happened next?

Barclay: (thinking) This should be good...

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Barclay: "Welcome to the Voyager Symposium! We'll start off the program with some opening comments from Admiral Janeway. Then we'll have individual presentations by Admiral Chakotay, Admiral Tuvok, Commodore Paris, Commodore Torres and Ensign Kim."

 

[Disruptor]

It's New Year's Eve 2388, and yes, Dick Clark is still doing the countdown.

"I believe Mr. Paris said he acquired it from the 'Yurinn Nation'."

"Oh, my, I've never one that big or malignant looking."

"Everytime Janeway mentions the 'Delta Quadrant aliens descended from Earth dinosaurs' she gets a lot of disbelieving looks."

 

[Nerys Myk]

SEVEN: You call that clean?

Neelix spits in glass and wipes it with a rag

PHLOX: How about now?

 

[Isis]

Zimmerman (to self): "Fine looking EMH if I do say so myself."

 

[Nerys Myk]

Ooooh, right into the Golden Gate Bridge.

 

[Nerys Myk]

The EMH took after his grandmother.

 

[Isis]

Voice on megaphone (OS): "Republican candidates, if you would just be patient for a few more minutes, the debate stage is almost ready..."

Announcer (OS): "We've secretly replaced this woman's podiatrist with a proctologist. Now let's see if she notices the difference..."

 

[Yeoman Randi]

Ahoy Voyagers. Contest will be changed up this Sunday morning, the 15th. Keep your entries coming......