Janeway: Today's briefing will be conducted by Lt. Giggles
Paris: I'm pretty sure I saw her lips move.
Kim: Lieutenant???!!!
Contest: ENTER Voyager Caption Contest #242: The Great Borg Caper
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Janeway: Today's briefing will be conducted by Lt. Giggles
Paris: I'm pretty sure I saw her lips move.
Kim: Lieutenant???!!!
Perpetual Ensign Kim: "What's the meaning of life?"
Everybody in the senior staff meeting was surprised when the captain rolled in an old style television and VCR strapped to a tall cart.
"Ah! Finally, everything in my life is going - glitch. I knew it."
Everybody in the senior staff meeting was surprised when the captain rolled in an old style television and VCR strapped to a tall cart.
Tom: "Telly Tubby porn?"
Borg Queen: "Oh, him? That's just Ken."
JANEWAY: "Welcome to Voyager's first annual Ugly Christmas Sweater Contest!"
CHAKOTAY: "Kathryn, I didn't think you could come up with a crazier idea than karaoke night, but you managed it."
PARIS: "Oh, come on, commander. Even you have to admit that Harry's rendition of 'Frog Kissin' was good for a few laughs."
TUVOK: "Given that there is no snow on a starship, it is eminently illogical that I wear a sweater with a snowman on it."
NEELIX: "After this is over, I have gingerbread cookies in the mess hall."
HARRY: "Is there eggnog? You promised there'd be eggnog."
TORRES: "Of course there is, but we spiked it with blood wine."
SEVEN: "I'm in a catsuit. Why am I still in a catsuit?"
EMH: "We have to keep the horny fan boys happy, Seven. You know that."
KES: "You know, this crew's gotten really weird in the years since I left."
JANEWAY: "We're a Starfleet crew, Kes..."
EVERYONE: "Weird is part of the job!"
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Paris: "Let's do something else. I'm sick of playing school bus."
Kim (thinking): "Crap. Forgot my homework again."
Queen: "This is a representation of what a ideal mating and love interest would look like. Please note the difference between chubby belly Chacotay and baldy holo-doc."
Tom: "I just still feel he's too close. Could we possibly move him back any further?"
JANEWAY: "So you're saying that you think you're shifting between realities. Like what happened with Lieutenant Worf, six months be..."
(ZAP! Tuvok and Neelix disappear, replaced by Tuvix)
JANEWAY: "...fore Voyager was lost."
TOM: "I think so, captain. Things keep randomly cha...
(ZAP! Seven disappears, replaced by Kes. Tuvix is Tuvok and Neelix again)
TOM: "...nging. It's like I'm cycling randomly from reality to reality. It's..."
(ZAP! Seven is back but Kes and Janeway have vanished. Chakotay is now wearing captain's pips)
TOM"...very disconcerting."
Janeway: "This meeting will now come to order. First item on the agen-okay, who stole my whiteboard?"
Janeway: "Hold on, I did this perfectly once - using the right combination of hail, emergency beacon activation, and power mode cycling you can play the Captain Proton theme."
Annika: "You were right dad - letting me play next to this Borg while you assure me it's perfectly safe WAS a great way to explain what hubris means!"
Seven of 9: "So I do have some questions. Why this particular hair style? Is it a statistical average of all encountered male human hair styles or just a randomly selected one. If random, was it fake random or did you break out the quantum computers to make a truly random selection? And the underpants..."
Borg Queen: "Seven, I don't think you're getting the point of this exercise."
Seven of 9: ".. and I don't think you requesting my suggestions on efficiency was genuine."
Janeway: "This meeting will now come to order. First item on the agen-okay, who stole my whiteboard?"
"Followed by: Who will pull this finger?"
Janeway: "Hi, I'm Tuvok and I like to fart a lot."
FAAAAARRRRRTTTTT
Tom: "Wait -- how did the puppet fart?"
Not the best time to find out somebody replaced your commbadge with a sugar cookie.
Chacotay: "Ensign Kim lost his, took yours. Also, he ate al the cookies and licked this one so no one else would eat it."
TUVOK: "Captain, I know that you miss her very much, but... putting a Kes mannequin in the photo? Really?"
JANEWAY: "Shut up and smile, Tuvok."
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