Contest: ENTER Voyager Caption Contest #198 Vis a vis

[Catarina]

UPDATED RESULTS.

She can't handle the truth: @JirinPanthosa

SEVEN: I scanned your genealogical history and found you actually had an ancestor who spent most of her life in prison, a 'Kalina Reznikov'.
JANEWAY: Don't tell me what happened to her.


Always look forward to your captions award: @lauracynthiachambers

Chell: (thinking) "What is he babbling about? He's like the thing that wouldn't shut up."

Truth Serum award: @2takesfrakes

"Let me explain something to you ... Seven of Nine ... just because I don't want Chakotay doesn't mean I want him getting with anyone else."


Double win for AC2T:

Janeway: Tonight's the night, Seven. Nervous?
Seven: Since I've already been eliminated, I see no reason for nerves.
Janeway: Still, it IS the climactic finale, and aren't you curious who beat you?

and

Announcer: The winner of the final rose, on this, the 437th season of The Bachelor is....
Tom: Harry, I know I'll never find anyone as special as you. Will you be my Buster Kincaid forever?

Where is my slightly offended award: Gross fun with the menu: @IMCHeadquarters

CHAKOTAY: So you say that Seska gave you the recipe for Macrovirus and Cheese?

Okay, I need a new award for this round. @Cutiemcwhiskers won the internet.

Cutie Mcwhiskers

Seven: "You would look gorgeous on blu-ray!"
B'Elanna: "So would you with all that extra detail! Me too! And the ship! No more dank death-blue colorcast from all that cheap videotape editing that costs more in time to imperfectly correct in Photoshop compared to a full remastering from the original 35mm negs!"
Tuvok: "Excuse me, but we are ordered to abandon the ship due to all the dramatic white smoke in the air."
Neelix: "ABANDON SHIP! ABANDON SHIP!! SAVE THE CAPTAIN'S COFFEE BUT ABANDON SHIP!!!"

This round:

 

[Laura Cynthia Chambers]

Seven: "Captain, if you wish me to be elsewhere, you cannot just press a button on a remote control and make it so. This is reality, not a television show."
Janeway (hysterical): "Is it??! IS IT!!?"
Paris (offscreen): "Sorry, Seven, someone had a little too much Twilight Zone last night..."

 

[Tenacity]

EMH: "Kill me for being so annoying Mister Paris? And exactly how are you planning on getting rid of the body?

 

[Orac]

Paris: If you don't mind I'm about to perform an ancient Earth ritual known as a rim job.

Paris: Lovely!

Janeway: Don't touch that! That's Death Blossom; weapon of last resort!

Alien in red sweater: Where'd th' cheese go?
Chakotay: I don't know.

 

[Tenacity]

Police Detective: "We found the two lizard newborns you left on that planet Commander Chakotay."

Chakotay: "I can explain."

Police Detective: "Child abandonment is a crime in this sector Commander."

 

[Qonundrum]

Chakotay, violating orders, used the ship's viewscreen to play some music videos.

Spoiler: Musical interlude before the next episode!

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Paris may have been good with his hands in other ways, but he couldn't even begin to do well at Donkey Kong.

EMH: "I'm a doctor, not a technological development with gas."

Bonus GIF:

 

[Mr Soak]

Seven: Actually, captain, the urinal was installed further back.

 

[Tenacity]

Janeway: "You're leaving without saying goodbye?"
Seven: "I didn't want to hurt you."
Janeway: "You already have."

 

[Herbert]

Doctor: No, no, no! You're doing it wrong. It's supposed to be 'pew, pew, pew'

 

[Herbert]

Seven: Congratulations Captain, you found me in 48 seconds
Janeway: I told you a game of hide and seek would be lame on the Delta Flyer but did you listen to me? Nooooo

 

[Herbert]

Paris: Dammit! I just can't beat Mother Brain

 

[Tenacity]

Janeway (looking over Tom's shoulder): "What's that?"
Tom: "It's what BeLanna is making me for dinner."
Janeway: "I'm so sorry."

 

[Nerys Myk]

PARIS: I think it might be a hat.
EMH: Or a crown, you said this vehicle was a "Buick Regal", right?

 

[Qonundrum]

Tom Paris never really understood Rorschach tests, but he always liked what he saw.

 

[IMC Headquarters]

CHAKOTAY: I'm looking for a new shuttle. Something with low miles and warp nine transmission.
ALIEN: I got six on our lot just waiting for a new owner just like yourself. Pinto class. Finest in the sector. No rust. Clean title. New coils installed last week. Super-reinforced dilithium chamber...
CHAKOTAY: We'll take all six.

 

[IMC Headquarters]

THE DOCTOR: What do you mean, I won't pass California mobile emitter requirements?

 

[IMC Headquarters]

SEVEN: Sneaking Doritos again? You have orange all over you.

 

[Qonundrum]

EMH: "Hurry it up. And don't blame me, Neelix ate all the sheep so we have to corral this herd before we realize Caretaker is tricking us. Are you sure you can get that air filter installed in time? And are you serious when you say this vehicle is faster than 250 horses while not emitting as much methane as they do? Look behind me and wish you had your Borg implant because my sensors indicate it's mighty stinky over there."

 

[KatyJane]

Captain, If you were using this terminal you could have just told me...

 

[Leviathan]

Starfleet's little secret: The ships actually run on Chevy V8's