Contest: ENTER Voyager Caption Contest #194 Connecting

Discussion in 'Star Trek: Voyager' started by Catarina, Jun 7, 2018.

  1. Laura Cynthia Chambers

    Laura Cynthia Chambers Commodore Commodore

    Joined:
    Jun 1, 2016
    Location:
    Mississauga
    Yay! Two in the same contest!

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    Sometimes the best prank you can play is no prank at all. Just point and laugh quietly every time he turns his back on you.

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    Janeway:
    "Harry, what type of center do these chocolates have?"
    Kim: "Ghost pepper. Why?"

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    Tuvok tries to disprove the persistent rumor that Vulcans have X-ray vision.

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    Paris:
    "Let's see...I'll have a banana split with strawberry sauce, chopped peanuts, and double down on the whipped cream. Oh! With extra jimmies."
    Kim: "Ha ha. Do I look like a soda jerk to you?"
    Chakotay (muttering): "Soda? No. Jerk? Yes."
    Kim: "Nobody asked you!"
     
    Last edited: Jun 8, 2018
  2. tharpdevenport

    tharpdevenport Admiral Admiral

    [​IMG]

    Janeway: "Awkward kiss?"

    Torres: "No, I was just thinking and ... I have to go some place else not here now."
     
  3. Triskelion

    Triskelion Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Mar 8, 2008
    Location:
    Shanghai
    [​IMG]
    Harry: My balls are stuck!
    Tom: That's probably why he's hunched over.
     
  4. Triskelion

    Triskelion Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Mar 8, 2008
    Location:
    Shanghai
    [​IMG]
    Janeway: This ship needs more interesting conflicts to talk about. How about a little Maquis dissent?
    Torres: What? We actually get paid in food here. How about your broken love affair with Mark?
    Janeway: Who? How about calling Harry "Starfleet" until he goes postal?
    Torres: I tried it, he actually likes it. How about putting an ex-con in charge of Conn?
    Janeway: He is actually an able pilot. How about running out of photon torpedoes?
    Torres: Everyone I suggest that too many people just say "Use the replicators to replicate some more, dumbass." How about asking your First Officer for some fresh leadership advice?
    Janeway: Who, the guy who gave himself a prison face tattoo? How about disabling the holodeck?
    Torres: What, and miss out on medieval Ireland STD's and Flotter reruns? How about promoting everybody else but Harry?
    Janeway: What, and expect Karry Him to notice? How about telling Chakotay Seska is a Cardassian spy?
    Torres: What, and deprive both crews of betting on when she honeytraps him with a baby?
    Janeway: ......This is hard.
    Torres: Is it season 4 yet?
    EMH: <walks in wearing silver catsuit>: As long as we're brainstorming....
    Janeway: I SAID NO!!!
     
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  5. 2takesfrakes

    2takesfrakes Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Oct 13, 2013
    Location:
    California, USA
    Having kept avoiding him for far too long, B'Elanna and The Good Captain respond to the EMH's surprise inoculation via their buttocks cheeks ...

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    EMH: "See? That wasn't so bad now, was it?"
     
  6. tharpdevenport

    tharpdevenport Admiral Admiral

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    Janeway: "No, I have the best puffer fish lips impression!"

    Torres: "No, I have the best puffer fish lips impression!"

    Janeway: "No, I have the best puffer fish lips impression!"

    Torres: "No, I have the best puffer fish lips impression!"

    Janeway: "No, I HAVE the best puffer fish lips impression!"

    Torres: "No, I HAVE the best puffer fish lips impression!"

    Janeway: "NO, I DO!!!"

    Puts her hands on her hips.

    Janeway: "Harry, what do you think?"

    Harry: "Actually, I think it looks like you're s--"


    And so Harry was never promoted. Ever again.
     
    Last edited: Jun 20, 2018 at 11:29 PM
    jaime likes this.
  7. 2takesfrakes

    2takesfrakes Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Oct 13, 2013
    Location:
    California, USA
    [​IMG]
    HARRY: "Alright, so for this Holo-novel, you're the Lone Ranger, and I'm Tonto and my nickname for you is 'Kemosabe ...'

    TOM: "Oh! ... Wait! Wasn't Kemosabe a song by Everything Everything? They're a band from the early 21st Century. Let me think how it goes:
    'Hey, Kemosabe I'm alone
    Ayah, I am a, I am alone
    (Hey) Hey …'"

    HARRY: "Tom! What are you babbling about? 'Kemosabe' is just what Tonto calls the Lone Ranger, he doesn't sing it as his theme song, or anything."

    TOM: "OK, so ... Why not just call him by his name, or The Lone Ranger? What does 'Kemosabe' even mean, then?"

    HARRY: "'Big Snake That Makes Women Faint ...' or something like that, maybe. How the hell should I know?"
     
  8. 1ittle

    1ittle Lieutenant Premium Member

    Joined:
    Jun 7, 2010
    Location:
    Philadelphia
    [​IMG]

    Harry: I heard his face tattoo is just sharpie marker...
    Paris: I heard your promotion is just a seven year long hell ride away.

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    Red Shirt: You know I’ve always had an Asian fetish...
    Other Red Shirt: Act now, friend. With this uniform, who knows what tomorrow may hold for us.

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    [“I just can’t fight this feeling anymore...” playing softly in the background.]

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    B’Elanna: Do I have raktajino breath?
    Janeway: Yep how about me?
    B’Elanna: NAH! Smells great! Now promote me without merit in episode one!
    Janeway: You bet! This won’t bother any of my loyal SF officers that just met you yesterday!
    Harry from a distance: YOUR BREATH SMELLS LIKE WINTERGREEN PEPPERMENTS BOSS
    Janeway: Quiet Harry!
     
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  9. tharpdevenport

    tharpdevenport Admiral Admiral

    [​IMG]

    Harry: "These pool balls feel kind of hairy..."

    Poll Table: "Oh yeeeaaahhh...."

    Janeway: "Ah, Harry, I see you've met the representative from the Pooltableians."
     
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  10. Catarina

    Catarina Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
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    Location:
    On a flying machine
    Ensign blue shirt: "He's totally about to grab that ambassador's balls.
    Red LT: And stick it to him. Should we tell him?
    blue: Hmmmmm. nahh
    Cat: Eh, it was just funny when Tharp joked. I'll go now.
     
  11. tharpdevenport

    tharpdevenport Admiral Admiral

    For shame. Now I may have to make another "Old lady fingers" joke. ;-)
     
  12. Catarina

    Catarina Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
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    I challenge you to do it for an image her hands aren't even featured in. You're clever. Shouldn't be too difficult.
     
  13. tharpdevenport

    tharpdevenport Admiral Admiral

    Challenge accepted! ;-)

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    Chacotay (inner monologue): "Hummm ... this look like old lady finger prints..."
     
  14. Catarina

    Catarina Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Sep 29, 2014
    Location:
    On a flying machine
    Catarina's inner dialog: This ought to be good.
    *laughs and hits desk with palm* You did not disappoint me. I still hate you for making fun of her hands and me for laughing tonight.
     
  15. 2takesfrakes

    2takesfrakes Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Oct 13, 2013
    Location:
    California, USA
    [​IMG]
    "Thank you, Tuvok. I can kill again! You've given me a reason to live."
     
  16. Triskelion

    Triskelion Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Mar 8, 2008
    Location:
    Shanghai
    [​IMG]
    Chakotay: I wonder if this is the episode when the first officer figures out how to get the crew home.

    Tom: He totally doesn't get Gilligan's Island.
     
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  17. 2takesfrakes

    2takesfrakes Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Oct 13, 2013
    Location:
    California, USA
    [​IMG]
    "Hey, Harry! How do you make a billiards table laugh? Put your hands down its pockets and tickle its balls."