Contest: ENTER Voyager Caption contest #191 Take it to the bridge.

[Catarina]

Contest redo: my host had a crash and lost files. So I have to upload awards and all. Moving on here's the redo (I didn't save the files for the contest either on HD so too lazy to cherry pick them again I'm starting over.

But for the credit of a good PS I say Cutie Mcwhiskers wins the Maestro award.

Tharp for Seven likes award:

Janeway: "Just keep looking at it."

Doc: "But nothing is happening."

Janeway: "Look harder. Concentrate."

Doc: "Okay, but I'm a highly advance program and don't need to look at things in order to discern pa--"

JUMP SCARE HORROR LADY FACE: "AAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!"

Doc: "AGH! SON OF A BITCH!"

This round:

 

[A Chimpanzee & 2 Trainees]

Janeway: Let's hear it for the band!!!
On keyboards... B'Elanna Torres, everybody!
On drums.... Chakotay!!!
Chakotay: WHAAAT?! I'm not lead vocal?
Janeway: OK, second fiddle. Happy now?

Janeway: At times like this, I often think of our predicament.. alone in the Delta Quadrant... wondering how the Caretaker's energy wave ever snuck up on us without warning...

Janeway: That's it. No more 'Rootin Tootin Chili Coffee' Mr. Neelix.

Wang: I'm detecting a whatthe...uhh, mmmmublahblahblah wave off the port bow.
Sorry Kate. Sweaty palms. I smudged my card.

 

[Bry_Sinclair]

Janeway: And this month's Token Maquis is... [drumroll]...B'Elanna Torres!
Chakotay: What?! What about me?
Janeway: Oh sorry, I didn't see you there.

Janeway: We are here to pay our respects to Commander Chakotay, who learned the hard way what happens to you when you cross me. Bear this in mind.

Janeway: [looking at the deck where an empty mug lies and black liquid seeps into the carpet] Those bastards spilled my coffee. Tuvok!
Tuvok: [os] Loading tri-cobalt devices and charging the photonic cannon, Captain.
Janeway: Wipe them out...all of them!

Janeway: Mr Kim, care to explain what that red light is about? Why there is a line of Orion hookers on my bridge? And what exactly is "Captain Kim's Starship of Pleasure"?

 

[tharpdevenport]

Lost scene from an early attempt by J.J. Abrams to direct an episode.

Picardo: "He kept asking for more lens flare. 'More lens flare! More! Make it brighter!'. I don't know what his fucking problem was."

 

[Jedman67]

JANEWAY: Just look at that face. The face of a thinker. A warrior. A man for all seasons. Yes, Chakotay was all that and more. But he was not perfect. Perhaps his greatest fault was that he was too selfless. He cared too much for his fellow man, with nary a thought for himself. A man of limitless accomplishments, and unbridled modesty. I can safely say that to know him was to love him. And to love him was to know him. Those who knew him, loved him, while those who did not know him, loved him from afar.

CHAKOTAY: I can hear you, Captain.

 

[Laura Cynthia Chambers]

Chakotay: "Point and laugh day?"
Torres: "Old Klingon custom. Cross my heart."

 

[tharpdevenport]

Kim: "We're entering the Red Light sector district. The area of space where you can get what ever kind of sexual perversion you can imagine."

Janeway: "Janeway to the Brig -- you can release Commander Chacotay now."

Kim: "Permission to be dismissed. I have ... business there."

Janeway: "Sure thing, Wang."

 

[Catarina]

Janeway: Status, Mr. Kim?
Paris OC: Well, we can rule out Borg Space.

 

[A Chimpanzee & 2 Trainees]

Janeway: As we commend the body of Lt. John Mark Kelly to space, let us also remember the only other early explorer lost to history... Captain William “Buck” Rogers.
THUD
Janeway: What was that?
Paris: ::: probably some space debris

 

[Triskelion]

Janeway: Treevis? How did you get off the holodeck?
Chakotay: ......................?
B'Elanna: I TOLD YOU HE WOULDN'T GET IT!

 

[Laura Cynthia Chambers]

After saying goodbye to one of their beloved comrades, Captain Janeway attempts to lighten the mood with her famous Popeye impression.

 

[Catarina]

After saying goodbye to one of their beloved comrades, Captain Janeway attempts to lighten the mood with her famous Popeye impression.

ha! i spot it.

 

[Laura Cynthia Chambers]

Kim: "According to these readings, Captain, it would appear that Voyager is turning to the dark side."
Paris (offscreen geekout happy dance): "So that's the galaxy on the other side of the barrier! I knew it!"
Kim: "I have a really-"
Janeway: "Don't say it."

Photographer (offscreen): "All right, Captain, let's have one more. Only try looking into the camera this time."
Janeway: "No thanks. Unlike Spock, I don't have inner eyelids."

 

[JirinPanthosa]

JANEWAY: Look, all I'm saying is you both seemed to have more personality when we met. You freaking punched a guy B'elana!
B'ELANA: I matured and it cooled down my hot Klingon temper!
JANEWAY: Yeah, I guess, but why wasn't it replaced by some other strong emotion?
CHAKOTAY: I have no excuse.

JANEWAY: Guys, cancel the funeral, I just found another time rift!
CREW: (Collective sigh)

JANEWAY: We could have had it AAAAAAAALLLLLLL!
HOLOGRAPHIC ADAM LEVINE: (Pushes button)

JANEWAY: Good work, Harry! Nobody is better at being an Ensign than you.

 

[Tenacity]

Janeway: "Hello, I'm Captain Janeway, and you are?
Chakotay: "I've been your first officer for seven years now, you know damned well who I am.
Torres: "Chakotay ..."
Chakotay: "Seriously, every day for seven fukking years, the same thing."

Neelix (whispering): "Who's the funeral for?"
Kim (whispering): "The last ounce of creativity the show had left."

Janeway: "ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ."

Kim: "Captain, sensors show there's a fire on the ship."
Janeway: "Where's the fire Mister Kim?"
Kim: "I'm trying to locate the fire, Captain."
Janeway: "Narrow the thermo wavelength aperture."
Kim: "Yes, that eliminates the aft portion of the ship."
Janeway: "Now attempt to ..."
Tuvok: "Oh for God's sakes woman, look over your shoulder."

 

[chrinFinity]

JANEWAY: Look, you can stop pretending. Take off that coat and step out from behind the panel. It's Chakotay's, right?

JANEWAY: We gather on this auspicious off-camera occasion to inaugurate our brand-new on-board photon torpedo manufacturing facility.

Beginning to rethink ordering all loose rocks removed from light fixtures

KIM: Now it just says "please wait, your updates are still being applied."

 

[tharpdevenport]

Janeway: "Hello, I'm Captain Janeway, and you are?
Chakotay: "I've been your first officer for seven years now, you know damned well who I am.
Torres: "Chakotay ..."
Chakotay: "Seriously, every day for seven fukking years, the same thing."

Neelix (whispering): "Who's the funeral for?"
Kim (whispering): "The last ounce of creativity the show had left."

Janeway: "ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ."

Kim: "Captain, sensors show there's a fire on the ship."
Janeway: "Where's the fire Mister Kim?"
Kim: "I'm trying to locate the fire, Captain."
Janeway: "Narrow the thermo wavelength aperture."
Kim: "Yes, that eliminates the aft portion of the ship."
Janeway: "Now attempt to ..."
Tuvok: "Oh for God's sakes woman, look over your shoulder."

Janeway: slowly looks over her shoulder as she turns around, "Where?"
Kim: "Now you're just fucking looking at me again!"

 

[Nerys Myk]

GUY IN BACK: Why is this happening on the bridge?

 

[Catarina]

Janeway: Let's water this thing and see if it grows a beanstalk all the way to the alpha quadrant.
Neelix: And they say I'm insensitive.

 

[Herbert]

Janeway: Computer, add the following message to the next scheduled wormhole transmission. "To the design engineer who thought a sun roof on the bridge was a good idea, the first thing I'm going to do when I get back is find you and punch you in the mouth"