Contest: ENTER Voyager Caption Contest #185 Special Guest Star: Catarina

[Catarina]

Okay, Okay, the real theme this round is: Whiny Decks.


Where are the new banners for the winners? Is it my browser? I'm trying a new one out.

You can get out of your stasis chambers if you dare.


The winners:


Not to mention also awkward when I don't get a reference in a contest and I have to secretly google it: :/

"You look like Hoda Kotb" ends up being a far too obscure reference for Tom to use as a pickup line.


Paris' predictable attempts at humor makes me feel like Voyager is still alive award

Paris: Let me guess. These glasses are "ribbed for your pleasure?"


Tharpdevenport has transporter accident with former user Hux
Huxport? No. Tharphux? yeah that's it.

"I call it a 'Vibrator' or a penismachine. Ban that, butt-fucking Goddamn Communist Google AdSense!"



Nerys masterpiece theater

Cat's choice award:

Torres: "Let's shine a flashlight on this thing and see if Batman shows up."
Paris: "I knew there was a reason I married you!"

Congratulations, Laura!



This round:

 

[Orac]

Bloke: Checkout these naked pictures of Captain Janeway I downloaded from the Deltanet!

Ensign: This is my favourite part of the Empire Strikes Back!
Janeway: That was fantasy, this is reality. Now watch as I take us in closer to one of the big ones.
Ensign: Closer?!

 

[JirinPanthosa]

TELFER: No, you're not stupid.
CELES: Billy, every orb experience I've ever had, the Prophets only showed me colorful shapes.

BLUESHIRT: CAPTAIN ON DECK!
JANEWAY: It's okay, you don't have to...
BLUESHIRT: IT'S THE ONLY THING I GET TO SAY ALL DAY!
JANEWAY: Alright then.

MORTIMER: Alright, we have five minutes to save the ship from this anomaly, I've analyzed the evidence and...
CELES: Ooh, shiny!
JANEWAY: Alright, Seven, work with Harren to save the ship. Celes, look at the shiny colors.

The crew got really into Paris's "Asteroids" holodeck game.

 

[Smellincoffee]

Left Ensign: ...And if everything works, we'll have total command of the bridge by 2200 with minimal casulties. How would you like to be chief engineer?

Left Goldshirt: You know, statiscally speaking, asteroid fields aren't really this dense. We could fly a Galaxy-class starship through most fields, no problems.
(Multiple asteroid fragments hitting the Flyer)
Command up Front: Less talking, more driving.

 

[tharpdevenport]

Ensign: "Yo ho, Lone Star!"

Guy: "Lizard babies. See? Look at this shuttle cam video..."

Janeway: "What are you two talking about?"

Lady: "Duty roster."

 

[A Chimpanzee & 2 Trainees]

Left Ensign: Somebody left this holo-novel on a table in the mess hall, and chapter one is Commander Chakotay as the author's love slave!

Janeway: Huh... I guess the self destruct sequence really DOES work...

 

[tharpdevenport]

"Innerspace 2"

"Captain, I'm in the stomach and I think I've found ... Pop Rocks."

Janeway: "Get out of there! GET OUT OF THERE!!!!!"

 

[Laura Cynthia Chambers]

Janeway: "Janeway to Paris. I've already warned you twice..."
Paris (off screen): "But The Doctor is doing random tonsil spot checks this week. Can I help it if the crew is eager to comply?"

 

[tharpdevenport]

Ensigh: "I'M BALD!!!"

Janeway: "Talk to the hair 'cause the Janeway don't care!"

Pilot: "Captain, remember those space-faring creatures the Enterprise D discovered? Well, I found their interstellar litter box."

 

[Leviathan]

Harren: What we need on this ship is a lovable Disney-esqe android and possibly a boy who could fly.

 

[tharpdevenport]

Paris: "You ... you mean I'm getting promoted? Yes! About time. I think I'll look awesome in red. Man, I can't wait to tell Harry he'll probably be next!"

Janeway: "Not so fast..."

 

[Triskelion]

Woo hoo Catarina's back!

Billy: Here, Lieutenant Kim gave us this list of stuff never to say if we want to get promoted.
Celes: "I wax my clarinet with Doctor Black's Black Woodwind Wax?"
Janeway: <spins and leaves>

Crewman Mitchell: Captain on the Deck!
<Metal crash>
<Fallen boxes thud>
<Running footsteps>
<Doors whoosh shut>
<Old timey horn>
<Bottles clash>
<Piano keys smash>
<Cat shriek>
Janeway: Crewman Mitchell. How have you been?
<One Dish clatters and spins to a stop> ..........................
Mitchell: Never better, ma'am.

Harren: Sorry I'm late, Captain. I was brushing up on Wang's Postulate.
Janeway: DON'T ASK DON'T TELL.

Celes: Wait - if that's Dark Matter - how come we can see it?
Janeway: It's only dark from Earth.
Celes: Well out here, isn't it just..."matter?"
Janeway: ..............Everyone hates you.

 

[tharpdevenport]

Woo hoo Catarina's back!

Harren: Sorry I'm late, Captain. I was brushing up on Wang's Postulate.
Janeway: DON'T ASK DON'T TELL.

7 of 9: "I'd advise you not to post that online or he might sue you."

 

[A Chimpanzee & 2 Trainees]

Crewman: NO MA'AM! THERE IS NO TOILET PAPER STUCK TO YOUR SHOE, MA'AM!
Janeway: Keep up the good work, Latrine Officer.

or

Janeway: Did you see anything?!
Crewman: No, Ma'am, I didn't see you playing with your dolls again!
Janeway: GOOD!

Seven: I am detecting an anomalous transmission from the planet.
Janeway: Let's hear it ...
Speakers: <Music> Heeey Macarena!!! AY!
Warren: Can't...fight it.... must.... dance!

 

[Timewalker]

Janeway: Crewman, why are you screaming?

Crewman: I'm practicing for my next opera lesson with the Doctor.

Janeway: I think you would be better off choosing a different hobby... ever tried silent meditation?

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Janeway: Mr. Mitchell, what are you DOING?

Mitchell: Just raging against the machine, Captain.

 

[Catarina]

The crew got really into Paris's "Asteroids" holodeck game.

I'm volunteer to play that game.

Janeway: Mr. Mitchell, what are you DOING?

Mitchell: Just raging against the machine, Captain.

I saw what you did there. Without google *pats self on back*

 

[Catarina]

Contest is closed. new one is up.