Contest: ENTER Voyager Caption Contest # 171 Buster and Proton

[Catarina]

I have a lot in this first category and honestly, I'd stack a couple more but then what's the point if "everyone's a winner". Nice round, everyone!!! <--extra happy marks.

We all though they maguyvered their way out of that one. Jirin award!

JANEWAY: Okay. This is a completely alien computer system with a completely alien language. So I assume you can figure out how to hack into it and completely control the enemy's systems in five minutes.
TUVOK: This language is particularly complicated. It could take ten.
JANEWAY: You have five.


Levthian captured Tom's expression award:

Janeway: I've got this....the situation is covered in the GOG-20 diplomacy manual. "If you let me go, you can use my friend's head as a polo ball."

Throwing the Lt. under the ship award goes to: Tenacity

Alien: "How did you get lost in this sector in the first place?

Janeway: "Did I mention Lieutenant Paris is our pilot?


Tharp earns the #poorharry award

Goodway: "Now I know I've entered a mirror universe -- I promoted Neelix before Harry and Neelix isn't even enlisted!"

A win for Finn (sorry)

Janeway: I apologize for him. He's still grouchy that our babies doesn't take after him

Another Score for Finn

Janeway: You-this is all your fault.
Seven: huh?
Janeway: You been blabbin' all over about the Cardassian Vole, haven't you?
Seven: ...not really but even if I did you never told me it was a secret.
Janeway: Because I thought you had more common sense... Maquis girls know about voles, of course they'll chase it.
Seven: ...why? Cause all maquis people like voles?
Janeway Don't be a bigot - it's because they're all on heroin.

Reset button authorization denied award to Jirin Panthosa

JANEWAY: Well, that didn't go well. What do you say, reset the timeline?
SEVEN: You have got to get a different first reaction to things.

Counterpoint Bingo award goes to Tharpdevenport

Paris: "BINGO!!!"

Janeway: "Ha, that previously encountered alien race I could have easily screwed over didn't stand a chance against your bingo skills."

ACT2 wins the #poorwhatshisname award

Janeway: Turn off that noise!
Paris: What....what is it?!
Tuvok: An alien jamming signal, perhaps
Kim: Sorry captain. Mom sent my music collection in the last transmission from home.


This week(s)!
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Okay, it's not Holodeck but I liked it

 

[Catarina]

Hmm, I'm reading my own title as "Buster Porno." Time for bed... Zzzz.....

 

[tharpdevenport]

Harry: "How about a porno called Buster Porno?"

Paris: "Oh my God, do you have anything without men in your collection?"

"Is he still looking at me sensually?"

 

[2takesfrakes]

HARRY KIM: "Actually, Tom --- here, let me see that -- your rough estimates of how much time I spend in the holodeck every week are too conservative. That number should be much higher ..."

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

"Well, that explains it. Chaotica really is overcompensating."

 

[2takesfrakes]

EMH: "There. With my brilliant modifications to Mr. Kim's holodeck programs, subliminal messages will begin to ween him from his holo-addiction ..."

TOM: "Doc, you are a Steely-eyed Missile Man!"

 

[tharpdevenport]

The cover to "the Little Mermaid 6: More Giant Phallic Symbols".

 

[A Chimpanzee & 2 Trainees]

Chaotica (From Tower): RIIIIIIIICCOLLAAAAAAA!!!!

Chaotica: Don't relieve yourself in my lo-boratory!!! Next time just ask to go to the bathroom, you foooo-ellll!

 

[Gepard]

KIM: Let me guess, Chaotica's Fortress of Evil?

PARIS: No. This is a miniature golf course.

 

[Nerys Myk]

PARIS: Yonder lies da castle of my fadda da King.

CHAOTICA(sotto voce): Kill him and send the woman to my quarters.
HARRY: We can hear you. Your hand doesn't block sound waves.

 

[Triskelion]

Tom: 5 minutes of the Proton theme music, 2 minutes of narrated backstory, 49 minutes to hike to the castle, and 1 minute answering Lonzak's password, then it's back to work. Next week we might even catch a glimpse of a woman!
Harry: I am outta here! I can catch a glimpse of a woman on the bridge! <leaves>
Tom: Finally! Computer, skip to harem rescue scene.

Harry: Hey Chaotica, if you love chaos so much, why did you organize a government?
Chaotica: Computer, delete the douchebag!
Harry: Ha ha, others have tried that.

EMH: Torpedoes locked on target.
Tom: Now that you've finished adjusting Miss Goodheart's wardrobe we should do something about Chaotica's death ray.

Tom: -428853678875453.
Harry: That's not even close to pi.
Tom: Pi? I was reciting all the phone numbers of girls I've taken around the world.
Harry: In standard orbit?
Tom: Yes, Harry. The phone numbers of girls I've taken around the world in standard geosynchronous orbit.
Harry: Let me try!
Tom: I've already heard Libby's phone number, thanks.

 

[Finn]

Thanks for the wins

Next time on Star Trek; Voyager, Harry falls in love with Siri.

 

[A Chimpanzee & 2 Trainees]

Chaotica: Lonzak! Your date's here! ...and he's brought a friend.

Tom: So, how'd the date go?
Harry: Not well, but ... interesting news....the robot's single!

 

[Tenacity]

Hey Chaotica, if you love chaos so much, why did you organize a government?

Chaotica: Government, the ultimate form of chaos. Buh-ha-ha-ha.

Tom: Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your hair, so that I may climb thy golden stair.
Harry; Wow, that's the longest pubic hair I've ever seen!
Tom: Harry?
Harry: Okay, it's the only pubic hair I've ever seen.

Goodheart; Oh this look is nothing, in one of Harry's fantasies I have black hair and pointed ears.
Chaotica: You mean ...?
Goodheart; Yeah, the Vulcan Love Slave program.
Chaotica (repulsed): Oh, the horror.

Tom: "I've found a holodeck program just for us Doc.
EMH: What's it called?
Tom: Han Solo at the cantina.

Tom quietly slides his blaster out of it's holster.

Harry: I should have used a condom when I had sex with that Satan's robot.
Tom: What happen?
Harry: Accord to the doctor I've got rust.

 

[A Chimpanzee & 2 Trainees]

Harry According to this, you've got Excedrin headache number 457
Tom what's that?
Harry Realizing you had lizard babies with your captain

 

[Ithekro]

Harry: There is no entrance on that thing, how are we suppose to get inside?

Tom: Transporter.

Harry: But...

Tom: Shush, it will be like a segue, but faster.

ClarrrRRAAAA!!! The sidekick says he's The Doctor! Get out here, NOW!!

Tom: So your diagnosis is to shoot the relay feeder that oscillates the reverse combustion chamber so the matrix converter will implode, allowing us to liberate the Wenches of Feeltrix?

Doctor: Basically, yes.

Tom: I can do that, let me whip out my proton death ray.

Harry: The Captain has changed her status to Single.

 

[tharpdevenport]

Tom: "I could have had a V8!"

"They beat me at Space Darts. NOBODY beats me at Space Darts!!!"

 

[Laura Cynthia Chambers]

Paris: "I can't stand the suspense. What's it say?"
Kim: "According to this, you've just been voted the second best looking man on Voyager."
Paris: "Second? Who's first?"
Kim: "I'll give you a hint...apparently balding and obnoxious is in."
Paris: "The Doctor?!! You've got to be kidding me."
Kim: "Oh, look, he's making his acceptance speech..."

 

[tharpdevenport]

Next time on Star Trek; Voyager, Harry falls in love with Siri.

Harry: "Siri, when will I get promoted?"

Siri: "Searching ..... I'm sorry, I can't find that."

 

[JirinPanthosa]

tftw!

Monty Python reference a bit too obvious here.

PARIS: There it is, the Fortress of Evil.
KIM: Please, PLEASE tell me it has a moon door.

CHAOTICA: My evil plans are about to come to fruition. I have captured all of Captain Proton's friends. It makes me want to...it makes me want to...just...SING!
DELANEY TWIN: Oh, this is the musical remake?
KIM: I am so good at dates.

DOCTOR: I think I found the problem.
PARIS: What?
DOCTOR: A grown man is obsessed with a low budget serial made for children four hundred years ago.

KIM: Hmm, a delta quadrant Tinder app. Green, swipe left. Purple, swipe left. Ooh, blue! Right!
PARIS: THIS is how you keep meeting alien women?