Kim: Still going with that antique square-shaped wall art, eh Admiral?
Janeway: You kids today, with your new-fangled shapes and your ironic postures and your digital library cards. In MY day we....
Contest: ENTER Voyager Caption Contest # 168 Oh, Harry, Harry...
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Kim: Still going with that antique square-shaped wall art, eh Admiral?
Janeway: You kids today, with your new-fangled shapes and your ironic postures and your digital library cards. In MY day we....
How I Got Demoted #147: Asked Janeway how she was, prompting her to launch into a litany of health problems, including mentioning that her neck hurt when she bent it like that. Tried to resist the sudden urge to laugh and suggest that she not bend it like that. Failed. Story of my life.
Janeway: "...but then Picard changed his mind and made Wesley an acting officer."
Harry: "But you didn't promote me in seven years."
Janeway: "And then Picard promoted him to full acting ensign."
Harry: "Not once in seven years."
Janeway: "Then Wesley quit Starfleet to join an intersteller super being, came back, joined Starfleet again, and even though he had been gone for a few years, he became an ensign again."
Harry: "Seven years!"
Janeway: "Then he quickly be came an assistant engineer and made Captain not long after that."
Harry: "SEVEN YEARS!"
Janeway: "So he was an extraterrestrial super being Travelor and a Captain."
Harry: "AGH! Where is this little puke now?"
Janeway: "Oh, he's the unquestionable lord and master of the universe now. Made that pretty quickly after Captain."
Harry: "SEVEN GODDAMN YEARS!!!"
Seven: Ensign Kim, when you return to your quarters, you will find them in a much more efficient configuration.
Kim: You went through my quarters?
Seven: Yes. Lt. Paris informed me that our working relationship would be less awkward if I took your virginity. I was unable to locate it. I did, however, remedy the disorder that I found in your quarters. You're welcome.
Jeri: "So, Garrett, I found this obscure website nobody has ever heard of that said you were..."
Garrett: What? Not that again! Please tell me they just got me mixed up with George!
Seven: Ensign Kim, have you come to run your diagnostic through my secondary processor configuration?
Kim: Um, yes?
Seven: First, you'll want to observe my installation nodules, and check the input port to see if I employed the correct female fitting for your male input lead.
Kim: Unnh, I guess?
Seven: And you'll be needing a fully-charged regulation hyperspanner. With these nodules, smaller phase adjustment pistols tend to prematurely discharge before the diagnostic protocol has been fully satisfied.
Kim: I uh, brought both?
Seven: Well, whip it out!
Kim: Umm....<opens tool box>
Seven: Not so rough, Ensign! You'll cause undue abrasions on the box!
Kim: Look, are you...deliberately using double entendres, or...?
Seven: WHAT ARE YOU IMPLYING, ENSIGN KIM.
Kim: Nothing! Nothing at all!
Seven: You don't just jam the "On" button like that! You'll want to degauss the whole area around the port first! Where did you learn engineering - from a do-it-yourself manual??
Kim: No, in school!
Seven: Oh, I see. Was this a school for the terminally dateless?
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