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JANEWAY: "When I find the moron who put Superglue on the grip of this weapon, I'll-"
EMH: "Patience, Captain. I'll be with you momentarily."
PATIENT: "Yeah. What he said, ma'am. (gulp) And for the record, it wasn't me..."
JANEWAY: Is he dead? Can I have a more interesting first officer?
DOCTOR: No, the wounds are only superficial.
JANEWAY: Damn it.
CHAKOTAY: You know I can hear you.
JANEWAY: I know.
When Janeway starts to get bored of the Jane Austen theme, she breaks into Brando impressions and tries to genre-shift the program to a mob theme.
ANDY DICK EMH: Oh, that. Yeah, after your model they fixed the bug that made EMHs think for themselves if they are left on too long. I can get you the patch if you'd like.
EMH: No thanks.
Tom Paris created a series of holodeck programs that put you in ancient 20th century arcade games. Neelix finds he is very bad at Asteroids.
Janeway: Someone order a colon cleanse? EMH: Um, perhaps we should reconsider the concept of command officers moonlighting as nurses.
Kate: Go ahead...Make my day. Director: Kate, it's a gothic ghost story. Kate: Oh, I thought it was a gothic romance. Director: Obviously.
Neelix: Ah, reminds me of high school prom on Rinax, The Septic Tank Ball.
Director: Hey Dick! Watch your mark! Robert: Sorry! Andy: I, uh, think he was talking to me. Robert: Oh, I thought Jeri Ryan was about to get my lines.