Contest: ENTER Voyager Caption Contest #150: Delta Flying

[LeadHead]

Hello and welcome to the new Caption Contest!

First up to the plate, we have the "Voyager crew... Assemble!" Award, going to Hutchy01 for:

Janeway: I'm here to talk to you about the Avengers Initiative.


Next, we have the "Ah, the 90's" Award, going to A Chimpanzee & 2 Trainees for:

AND IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII WILL ALWAYS....LOVE YOOOOOOOOUUUU



Next, we have the "Oooooo Candy!" Award, going to Nerys Myk for:

EMH: Pez?


Next, we have the "Can I have a new teammate?" Award, going to Nebusj for:

``I'm not saying you can't make the shot, Captain, it's just I'm pretty sure we were stripes.''



Next, we have the "Mistaken Identity" Award, going to Leviathan for:

Guy in crowd: Worst. Gandalf. Ever.


Our Photoshop Award, goes to tharpdevenport for:

Janeway: "And yet it seems so right."

This goes to stardream for:

'Cause I've got faith of the heart
I'm going where my heart will take me
I've got faith to believe, I can do anything.'

The Award goes to Triskelion for:

And to Seven of Nine, Harry Kim dedicated this next number especially for you.
Here's - "The Imperial March - The Darth Vader Theme." For clarinet.

The Award goes to hux for:

Janeway: Is he checking out my ass?

Paris: No, bend over a little more

The Award goes to Smellincoffee for:

Janeway: Turns out this is a pub, not a cafe. Who's up for fish and chips?

The Award goes to JirinPanthosa for:

ZIMMERMAN: Wait a minute. This isn't my Emergency Medical Hologram. This is my Emergency Slapstick Hologram!
ESH: (Throws hypo) BOINGOINGOING!


Many thanks to everyone for participating and congrats to our winners!

At Catarina's request, I'm subbing once again for this contest to keep things going. Rest assured, my tyrannical reign will come to an end and the noble fearless leader will soon return to bring order to the universe.

 

[LeadHead]

Here's our new contest, spending some time on Voyager's best and least often destroyed type of shuttlecraft, the Delta Flyer.

 

[LeadHead]

Kim: Kim to Voyager.

Janeway: (over comm) Go ahead.

Kim: So.... what if I parked the Delta Flyer in the wrong ship again?

Janeway: (over comm) Just tell me it's not a Borg ship.

Kim: Well.....

Janeway: (over comm) #$&%.

Kleg: You almost crashed into that asteroid!

Paris: That's nothing, I could've gotten even closer!

B'Elanna: This wall is all wrong, maybe adding this will make it a little better.

Neelix: Harry, Voyager is firing on us!

Kim: Doesn't make any sense, the Captain ordered you, me, Crewman Herron and Icheb to take the flyer and hold position right here- Oh, no! She's actually gonna get rid of us!

EMH: Captain, I don't understand why it was necessary to reprogram me to carry around your tablet for you.

Janeway: You're my spam filter.

 

[A Chimpanzee & 2 Trainees]

Chakotay...? Seven...? Whatever you two are doing back there, quit fogging the windows. I can't see where we're going!

You're going too fast, Mr. Paris!

This is nothing. Take a look at this log. Now THAT's what's going to happen to you once we've passed warp 10...

Neelix, THAT'S IT! I'm sealing off the replicator! This is a small cabin, with limited breathable air, and I'm not letting you order "Talaxian Tootin' Beans and Franks" again!

UFO's? I don't see anything on the sensors...

 

[tharpdevenport]

In the future all non-duty-ready shuttlecraft will be equiped with photon torpedos to blow away slower moving shuttlecraft.

Picardo: "Oh, it's not a prop, this is the script for this episode. Looks like Livingston left a note for Robert."

Kate: "What's it say?"

Picardo: "'Remember to ACT'..."

 

[Finn]

Kim: Great! I'll never make Captain after this

Janeway: Do you really need this as part of your program?

Doc: Yes. I can't live without Orange is the New Black.

 

[hux]

TFTW

Kim: Either I'm shrinking or this is a really shit Delta Flyer special effect.

Kleg: Now then Mr. Paris, I want you to fly as though you're a man who's really pissed off because he only asked his wife to marry him because he thought he was going to die. Yes, that's it. Perfect.

B'Elanna: You better not be staring at my ass, Kim.

Neelix: Sorry captain, the lifeforms chose to explode themselves rather than talk to me.

Janeway: Then our plan to save on torpedoes worked perfectly.

Janeway: Holodeck privileges, hypo-sprays, opera tickets, wigs...

EMH: Vibrators, dildos, lube, nipple clamps...

Janeway: I think this is yours.

EMH: Likewise.

 

[Triskelion]

T4TW, Leadhead!

What do you mean, Chalupa Supremes are irrelevant? Fine, just give me 3 Doritos Locos Tacos and Diet Shasta Root Beer.

You always want to adjust your warp bubbles.
Ok, but don't call me Bubbles.

Now it's home.

Tuesdays with Tuvix. Chapter One: a middle-aged Talaxian's coming of age story. I remember it like it was yesterday, but it was on a Tuesday and yesterday was Wednesday or was it Thursday? I remember clearly scooping lint from my toenails which I usually do mid-week or fortnightly....

Kathryn: You are my Omega molecule, my only Omega molecule? You make me happy when resistance is futile?
EMH: Seven borgified all my lyric sheets. Don't even ask me about "Oh My Darling, Oh My Darling, Oh My Darling Seven of Nine Tertiary Adjunct to Unimatrix Zero One".

 

[stardream]

Thanks for the win!

The Borg took Neelix but found me unworthy of assimilation?

They took off at ludicrous speed........

Just a few added touches to the decor and I'll be all cured of my severe clinical depression!

'She had intended to plunge it through his throat but something about him made her hesitate...'

 

[tharpdevenport]

Kim: "Hey ... wait a minute. Ensign Kim to Voyager. These coordinates you gave me don't lead to a shuttle craft full of distressed half-naked women at all!"

 

[Nerys Myk]

PARIS (os): I'm reading the instructions from IKEA right now. There's nothing in them about a blow torch.

 

[Nerys Myk]

EMH: I'm a computer program, why am I holding a PADD?

 

[JirinPanthosa]

BORG: Analysis of design of craft. Not very practical, but looks cool. This craft will be assimilated. Its aesthetic distinctiveness will be added to our own.

PARIS: Computer, set inertial dampeners to 90 percent.
MAN: Why did you do that?
PARIS: Why build a giant space hot rod if you can't even feel the turns?

B'ELANA: So this is where you hid your porn after we got married.

NEELIX: Turn left at the two pillars of light. What pillars of light? That could mean almost anything! These are the worst directions ever.

JANEWAY: Emergency...piloting hologram?
DOC: What do you think?
JANEWAY: I think if you start all your proposed new jobs with 'Emergency' you must have a pretty low self esteem.

 

[tharpdevenport]

JANEWAY: Emergency...piloting hologram?
DOC: What do you think?
JANEWAY: I think if you start all your proposed new jobs with 'Emergency' you must have a pretty low self esteem.

Doctor: "Oh, I see..."
Janeway: "Emergency medical backrub."
Doctor: "Wait -- that's not in my programming."
Janeway: "It is now."

 

[Nerys Myk]

JANEWAY: Wait, EEH? What's that?
EMH: Emergency Emergency Hologram. For when the other Holograms are unavailable .

 

[Catarina]

Janeway: I'm looking for a hole to my " 'Can't have sex with my subordinates clause' I found one. You're not recognized as a legit member of the federation. Therefore, I'm programing you to be the new ECH. I'm told I don't get laid enough. "
Doc: "I'm already an ECH."
Janeway: Emergency Captain hump-o-gram.
Doc: how devoid of creativity.
Janeway: thank you. I am a scientist after all.

It was cheaper to use Wang's action figure as a stand in than pay him for a Cgi shot.

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

"'Take Uber,' they said. 'You'll save a lot of money and get there fast.' Oh yeah, this is working... "

 

[Nerys Myk]

KIM: Figures, I just washed the Flyer and here comes a flock of seagulls.

 

[Triskelion]

WE ARE THE BORG. YOU WILL BE ASSIMILATED.
Oh no! With my deep reserves of clarinet trivia, the Borg will rule the galaxy!
RESISTANCE, IN YOUR CASE, IS NOT NECESSARY. SORRY TO BOTHER YOU.

Instructor: Pull up! Pull up! Pull up!
Tom: Can we turn off this porno so I can take my flying lesson?

Janeway: Before I allow you to publish your sequel to the holonovel Photons Be Free, we've got to change the title.
EMH: What's wrong with Photons Gone Wild?

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Tom: It's a hundred parsecs back to your homeworld. We've got full dilithium reserves, half a pack of Starfleet rations, it's dark, and we're wearing uniforms.

Instructor: Hit it.

Janeway: What are you working on, Doctor?

EMH: It's a new children's holonovel. I got the idea from the Kazon. It's called Culluh Culluh Island.