Contest: ENTER VOY Caption Contest #234: The One Where 7 goes Cuckoo for Coca Puffs
- Thread starter Orac
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Tuvok: ....you will now experience all the Tuvok Fart Captions!
7 of 9: "SQUEEEEE!!!"
Seven: "...and just as Libby is about to say "I do", a woman runs in and yells "stop the wedding!" And who do you think it is? Esmeralda!"
Janeway: "Oh no! What did Frederick do?"
Seven: "He fainted right into the wedding cake!"
Janeway: "Wow! And then what happened?"
Doctor (rubs forehead and grimaces in pain): "I knew I shouldn't have included soap operas in her Human Cultural studies course..."
(not based on an actual soap opera, just a random made-up generic plotline)
If you did "Ryan's Hope", that would have been an interesting irony, since Kate Mulgrew starred on it.
There actually was a plotline in General Hospital where one of the characters went BS!C and murdered a cake.
Seven: "...and just as Libby is about to say "I do", a woman runs in and yells "stop the wedding!" And who do you think it is? Esmeralda!"
Janeway: "Oh no! What did Frederick do?"
Seven: "He fainted right into the wedding cake!"
Janeway: "Wow! And then what happened?"
Doctor (rubs forehead and grimaces in pain): "I knew I shouldn't have included soap operas in her Human Cultural studies course..."
(not based on an actual soap opera, just a random made-up generic plotline)
McCoy (OS): "Sorry to keep your waiting so long for your physical, Jim. What's with all the knickknacks?"
Kirk: "I figured as long as I was going to be here for a while, I might as well make it feel like home."
Unfortunately, Harry's dietary regimen for Tuvok included a quart of polmeek soup spiked with leola root and several obscure Talaxian spices, some hasparat, a fillet of Andorian cod, a piece of that weird sickbay cheese, some spice pudding, and a box of Red Hots. While it cleared up the flatulence quite nicely, it caused him to hallucinate wildly...
TUVOK: "T'Pel, my wife, it has been so long since we were together. Let us turn off the Doctor and... do pon'farr a little early."
SEVEN: "I'M NOT YOUR WIFE, TUVOK, YOU IDIOT! NOW GET AWAY FROM ME!!"
Tuvok: If the captain doesn't separate us immediately, I'll never recover.
Neelix: And now, 47 distinct recipes for authentic Talaxian mysteries rolls!
When it's been fourteen years since your last pon farr and you're desperate...
Harry: I'm begging you, Captain, can't the computer handle the duty of playing the boatswain's whistle? I don't even have one on me.
Janeway: System resources are needed elsewhere, Ensign. Now, if I'm not mistaken, I believe I recently entered the room.
Harry: *Sigh*...*Wheeoooooo*
B'Elanna: What's the matter, Seven?
Seven: You asked what I would do for a Klondike bar. You may not like the answer. Resistance is futile.
Seven: Captain, I have told you twice now. One finger means fastball, two means curveball, and three means change-up. We're down by three and only have two innings to turn this around.
Tuvok (singing): "The itsy bitsy spider, went up the waterspout..."
Seven: "I'M ASLEEP! I'M ASLEEP! Can't you hear me snoring?! (loud exaggerated fake snores)"
Seven tries to assimilate the fourth wall.
Janeway: "Ensign, that's not a computer graphic of the problematic asteroid field e need to travel in."
Kim: "Correct, Captain, it's the Atari 75000 Asteroids game. I think if we--"
Janeway: "Skipped for promotion again, ENSIGN."
"Captain on the desk!"
●●● QUARK'S ARCADE ●●●
●●● AVAILABLE PRIZES ●●●
Arcade Tickets redeemable only for prizes. No latinum value.
10 Tickets - Mini-PADD, 4.2 PB Data capacity.
25 Tickets - Brass-plated Salt and Pepper shaker set.
50 Tickets - Intelligent digital photo-frame, 250,000-photo capacity.
750 Tickets - Life-size statue of Adm. James T. Kirk, complete with historically accurate uniform.
75 Tickets - Intellifoam Pillow with Tholian Silk Pillowcase.
Needless to say, sales of "Admiral Kirk Ken" weren't exactly stellar.
"Alternative Emergency Medical Hologram Doctor Harvey Weinstein will do your examination now that you are heavily sedated and cannot move."
Kim: "Want me to teach you how to whistle, Naomi? Then we can be bosun buddies!"
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