VOY Caption Contest 108; Everyday Problems

[Ln X]

Greetings all! I hope you enjoyed the last contest! Now the winners from the last contest are...

Chakotay: Happy Birthday, Captain! It's a Hirogen vibrator!
Janeway(off screen): Over compensating again, are we Commander?

Doctor: Captain, i want to change my name to Shirley
Janeway: Surely you can't be serious
Doctor: Yes, i am serious and thank you for respecting my wishes

Paris: What do you mean, this is the perfect moment for a fight?
Torres: Look around, flyboy. The camera composition is ideal. The guy behind you is balanced by the barrel behind me, our co-stars all have full sightlines, and the lighting on my face is better than yours.

Janes: Next time, Harry, don't offer to "rassle" the Captain for a promotion.

Our fifth winner (and also photoshop winner) is;

The crew had begun to wonder if Janeway was having too big an impact upon alien cultures.

And the special award...

JANEWAY: I told you guys, do not interrupt Naomi's Flotter holoprogram! She gets a bit "upset".

Congrats to the winners!

Now, here are five more pictures ready for captioning!

Enjoy!

 

[Ln X]

Janeway: Whaddya mean you replaced all of my hair with a wig?

Chakotay: Tom quick! Resuscitate Neelix!
Paris: Don't worry commander, it's not as if Neelix is in any danger of dying.

B'Elanna: God I hate spacenet shopping!

The Hierarchy didn't just spy on Voyager for information gathering...

Tuvok: Captain, we came all this way -- under the Omega Directive no less -- just to arrive at some kind of disco event?

 

[Finn]

Chakotay: Quick! He's down. Beam the rodent out!

B'Elanna: God I hate being pregnant and not knowing where the bathroom is!

You know we would have had Paris and Torres as zombies if Voyager was on the air today

 

[R. Star]

Thanks for the win!

Janeway: You served me decaf!

Chakotay: He's dead, Tom.
Paris: Too bad. Someone should've told him that that container of warp plasma was leaking.
Chakotay: Strictly a Maquis operation, eh? Wait.. what about us?
Paris: It's great being the medic. Too bad there was only enough antidote for one.
Chakotay: What?!
Paris: A good meal, and a promotion. I'm looking forward to getting back to Voyager!

Torres: Tuvok! Someone deleted our ship's library of pornography!
Tuvok: A curious crime. Who would do such a--
Both: Neelix.

Paris and Torres always wanted to bone each other.

Janeway: It's my flesh eating piranha tank. Bring Harry down here, we'll test how well this works out.

 

[Triskelion]

TFTW Ln X!

I bought that pomade for Antonio Banderas, I mean Chakotay!

Neelix: I miss my van, man.

Torres: Did you know your quarters were adjacent to the women's locker room?
Tuvok: I did not.
Torres: So that's not you we hear humping the wall?
Tuvok: Negative.

 

[Nerys Myk]

TUKOK: It finally happened.

TORRES: What?

TUVOK: We're out of shuttles.

 

[Third Nacelle]

TUVOK: The logical course of action is to unplug the router, count to ten, and plug it back in. If that fails, Neelix has wifi in the mess hall.

 

[Melakon]

Thanks, I did not expect my previous entry to win.

Torres: Oh, no!
Tuvok: What?
Torres: I don't believe it!
Tuvok: What is it?
Torres: Some idiot overwrote the entire ship's database with an old backup. Let me check the authorization signature.
Tuvok: (slowly backs toward the door) I believe I'm needed on the bridge.

 

[hux]

Alzen: This is the best interrogation i've ever experienced....where your arm is putting pressure.....that's where my species keep its genitals

Chakotay: OK, he's beamed back with the lantern, lets get out of here
Paris: Ryan Reynolds.....fuck you!

Tuvok: So we'll just buy a new Voyager from Ebay
Torres: ah crap....no longer available

Doctor: Say cheese...oh wait, this isn' the camera, it's the skin desolver....my bad

Tuvok: And this is a two way mirror into Sevens new quarters
Janeway: So many men.....so much semen

 

[JirinPanthosa]

JANEWAY: My choke hold will knock you out ANY SECOND now!
ALIEN: (Thinking) Maybe if I pretend I'm unconscious I can go home.

PARIS: Do we really have to completely forgive him by the next episode?
CHAKOTAY: That's the rules.

TORRES: Crap. Janeway figured out we were hacking into her British literature holonovels.

Tom Paris quickly regretted hacking into Captain Boday's porn collection.

 

[Nerys Myk]

CHAKOTAY: What he been drinking?

PARIS: It's...green.

 

[Bry_Sinclair]

Alien: Ohhh. MMMMMMMMM!
Janeway: Wait...are you getting off on this?
Alien: You're not?

Tuvok: It appears the shuttlecraft replicator has vanished.
Torres: What the hell do we do now?

Alien porn is just weird.

 

[JanewayRulz!]

Very few crewmembers on Voyager knew it, but Captain Janeway paid for her replacement photon torpedos with her part time job as a Delta Quadrant chiropracter

PARIS: When do you think the Captain will notice we killed Neelix?
CHAKOTAY: The moment she walks into the messhall to order coffee and he's not there to hand it to her.
PARIS: Damn!

TORRES: I don't know which I hate more, the "blue screen of death" or the "No longer available" screen.
TUVOK: Indeed.

EMH: NAOMI! If I told you once, I told you a hundred times, the invisible man and invisible woman models are NOT toys!

JANEWAY: Sheezz...They're right, Tuvok. One shouldn't put one's makeup on under the blue glow of flourescent lighting.
TUVOK: Indeed.

 

[Triskelion]

Janes: Say one more bad thing about lycra! I dare you!

Paris: I once saw a 20th century invention called a "seat belt."
Chak: Save it for your blog.

Torres: Now that I'm your Pon Farr booty call, we can reset your relationship status on Spacebook.

Tuvok: Is there any way to see that Vorik gets the message?

Torres: Yeah. I'll poke him. With a mek'leth.

Alien: That reminds me, pork tenderloin is on sale at Spacemart.

Janeway: Somehow - a holographic Justin Beiber just isn't the same.
Tuvok: Thank you!

 

[Ryva Brall]

Janeway: How dare you call me aggressive!? I'll kill your whole family for saying that!!!

Paris: I told Neelix that Slurm stuff would kill him one day.

Torres: Damn. Looks like the Infinite Improbability Drive has gone offline again.
Tuvok: Impossible.
Torres: No, just very, very improbable.

Hasbro has officially run out of ideas for their action figures. Their new Star Trek: Inside-Out Edition line of toys is just plain creepy.

Janeway: Oh, God. The Doctor's programmed his mobile emitter to project holographic spotlights that follow him wherever he goes.
Tuvok: He looks... fantastic.

 

[Triskelion]

So YOU'RE Leola!

 

[Mayack419]

Paris: Dibbs on the mouth!
Chakotay: Damnit....

 

[T'Girl]

Janeway: Whaddya mean you replaced all of my ...

...coffee with Guinness beer? I don't care if it's the same color.

 

[Vulcan Logician]

I explained the rules to him. Every time Picard tugs on his uniform, you take a drink.

 

[Candlelight]

"DUCK SEASON!"
"WABBIT SEASON!"

"Mmm, smells like dinner's ready."

"It would seem Janeway's Consistancyometer has gone awol again."
"Damn, right before the season finale too."

Paris couldn't decide whether to stop and seek medical help, find Neelix and thump the shit out of him for his stew causing this or simply try and get to third base before B'Elanna noticed.

"What the hell is in this room Tuvok?"
"It's the fans. Best steer clear of it."
"Why are they so white??"
"Natural light in a basement comes at a premium, captain."