Contest: ENTER V'ger Caption Contest: The One With the Body Snatcher

[Orac]

Welcome to the all new Star Trek Voyager Caption Contest!

Here are the winners of the last contest..

@Qonundrum gets the highly prestigious Captain's Choice Award with:

"As you can see Vash, it's really 'this long'. What do you mean you don't believe me? Look at this look on my face. It's like Timothy Dalton as James Bond but without the curly hair."


@JirinPanthosa wins third prize with:

JANEWAY: You're outnumbered. You may not have noticed my colleague disguised as a tree stump.


Second Prize goes to @A Chimpanzee & 2 Trainees with:

Agent: I'm with the FBI, sir.
Picard: FBI?! I haven't done anything wrong. I've never been to DC.
Agent: Who said anything about DC?
Picard: $&%# !!!!!


And the winner is @JirinPanthosa with:

JANEWAY: This will show the writers not to overuse holodeck malfunctions!


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Here're th' new pictures:

Bonus Picture:

 

[Qonundrum]

Thanks for the win!

"Captain, want some of this tasty licorice? "

Torres: "I told you these lobster clasps looked better than Worf's baldric!"

Baldric: "Oi, I totally resemble that remark!"

 

[Oddish]

I forgot how to paste in photos, sorry...

SECOND FROM TOP
CHAKOTAY: "'There's coffee in the globular cluster'... no, that doesn't sound near as cool as Kathryn's line. How about 'there's coffee in that red dwarf system'. No, that's just stupid... 'there's coffee in that gas giant!' No, no..."

THIRD FROM TOP
TOM: "Must not be smug. I got promoted back and Harry's still a lousy ensign. But even so, don't want to hurt the poor schlub's feelings."

FOURTH FROM TOP
TUVOK: "Do you need the Heimlich maneuver, captain?"

FIFTH FROM TOP
Klingon Rule of Domination #260: The bigger the smile, the sharper the bat'leth.

BONUS
TOM: "I'd say my tongue tastes like chicken, but... well, I can't exactly taste it when I don't have it anymore, can I?"

 

[JirinPanthosa]

tftw!

Tom Paris after he got back from his trip through time to 2020.

CHAKOTAY: What's this in Tuvok's log? 'I stopped work on the training holoprogram when I realized the Commander didn't have enough personality to rebel against Captain Janeway'.

PARIS: Play it cool, hold in the coughing.

JANEWAY: Why am I coughing so much? I just had a briefing with Lt Paris.

TORRES: My Klingon side mostly comes out in the bedroom.

Bonus Picture:

PARIS: Oh God, why did I go to 2020?!

 

[Finn]

Padd :*plays YouTube video of introduction to acting*

 

[Bry_Sinclair]

Even holding a shiny mug, Chakotay still wasn't as interesting as the bulkhead with its LCARS displays.

Tuvok's neurological degeneration was getting worse, the days he forgot his trousers made it difficult for anyone to look at him.

Today's Moral: When a Klingon smiles at you, run!

PARIS (thinking): I'm screwed, my health insurance doesn't cover all this crap!

 

[Orac]

Tuvok: Impossible Captain. Vulcans do not flatulate.

 

[Qonundrum]

Chakotay: "Great. The only thing left is to add in a stainless steel toilet to go with these ashtrays and all will be well for my coffee 'n cigs."

 

[Timewalker]

Paris: This is ridiculous. A top of the line science vessel that does NOT have plain tomato soup in the replicator. This is gonna be a long trip.

Chakotay: What's this? OMFG, not another complaint from Paris about the soup! He included pictures this time!

Paris (thinking): Chakotay's gotta do something about reassigning the Engineering crew to fix those plain tomato soup-less replicators. I included pictures this time so he can't miss what it's supposed to look like.

Tuvok: Captain, I have dealt with 14 security reports in the last two days. All have had to do with Mr. Paris and his obsession with tomato soup. I caught him drawing pictures of tomatoes on the door of Commander Chakotay's quarters.

Janeway: It's not my fault that we left DS9 without that one replicator program. It's not like I knew Mr. Paris' food preferences or that we'd end up 70,000 light-years from the nearest tomato.

B'Elanna: Tom, it's been three months and I'm getting really tired of listening to you whine about soup. If you really want me to take everyone off their assigned tasks just for tomato soup, you may wish you hadn't...

Paris: OKAY, B'ELANNA, YOU WIN! I'M GIVING UP TOMATO SOUP FOREVER!

Rest of crew: (sighs of relief)

 

[Oddish]

Extra points for telling a story.

 

[Nerys Myk]

PARIS: How can I break the news to Harry that I outrank him again.

 

[Orac]

What the fun is a covfefe?

 

[Orac]

Chakotay's Candy Crush addiction got him demoted to security guard duty.

 

[IMC Headquarters]

CHAKOTAY: Just ordering some more shuttlecraft from Amazon. Same day delivery? Yes.

 

[Nerys Myk]

TUVOK: What did the doctor say was causing the sneezing?
JANEWAY: Turns out I'm allergic to coffee.
TUVOK: And?
JANEWAY: I deactivated the EMH.

TORRES: Have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight? I ask that of all of my prey.

 

[Orac]

Tuvok: Are you alright Captain?
Janeway: Yeah I'm alright. I just had some bad motherfucken cheese, know what I'm sayin?

 

[Orac]

Nobody asked for it, and here it is, the new contest. --> link