One of these days I should watch these films so I can be cool and hate'em, too.
Twilight(The Worst Thing in the Universe)
- Thread starter Infinitus
- Start date
Those awful movies are an excellent fodder for Rifftrax. The first movie has probably the funniest Rifftrax ever.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SE0fknMFFXg
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SE0fknMFFXg
I've read the books and seen the movies. They're brain popcorn with some awful dialogue and dodgy moral philosophies when one scrapes the shiny surface.
In that regard I think they're in plentiful company. Don't actually see what makes them any worse than Bond movies, or the Transformers franchise, or Eragon, or the new Batman movies, or whatever else you want to throw in there.
In that regard I think they're in plentiful company. Don't actually see what makes them any worse than Bond movies, or the Transformers franchise, or Eragon, or the new Batman movies, or whatever else you want to throw in there.
Sadly (or luckily) I haven't seen or read any of the movies or books, so I can't pass judgement. From what both men (those that don't just rate it bad because of it's target audience) and women have been saying about it, it sounds like a female equivalent of a trashy action movie (shallow brainless action and gore - shallow brainless romance and angst), appealing to more basic desires with very little brain power required, with dodgy issues in regards to women.
Yes!
They're really actually a bit worse than that. An intelligent person can enjoy or at least appreciate a good romance as well-made, but Twilight doesn't reach that bar. If they were softcore porn for tweens and fat housewives, it would be acceptable; but they're rather abhorrent in many ways, from construction (ridiculously boring) to message (premarital sex is the devil, cockteasing is acceptable and profitable) to content (100 year old guy hanging out in a high school in the first place [did you not pass pre-cal the first 85 times?], vampire fetus breaking spines [iirc], vampire baby being lusted after by werewolf). Of course there's also the uncommented on fact that these assholes--the vampires as a group--have discovered human immortality but have made it a secret, special rite for only the people they deign to bang.
Oh, and Bella's complicity in mass murder in the second one, whatever it was called. It's okay, the tour group doesn't have sweet abs, so deserve to die. (It's also sort of stupid that this could be gotten away with. Are Meyer and/or the filmmakers under the impression that Italy is some rustic Third World backwater where two dozen people can go missing and no one will notice, care, or do anything about it?) Anyway, bitch is like one of those Germans who lived outside Dachau and claimed they never noticed that their windows got greasy from the accumulated layers of aersolized human fat.
Plus, animal meat is still murder. Fuck you, Cullens.
That is utterly BRILLIANT, it genuinely made me laugh out loud!
Someone should do a series of these with Buffy, Peter Cushing and other famous vamp hunters I think Twilight etc are ok just kinda stupid, it's the kind of concept Buffy would make fun off (and certainly does if you read the comics), it's the Spuffy or Bangel without he wit, great dialogue, action and knowing self-parody (think 'Lie to Me' or Xander interrupting them in The Zeppo).
^
You see, that's exactly what I'm talking about.
Two years ago when that image first began circulating on the interwebs, it was funny. Now it's passe. Why don't we just crack Chuck Norris jabs while we're at it...
You see, that's exactly what I'm talking about.
Two years ago when that image first began circulating on the interwebs, it was funny. Now it's passe. Why don't we just crack Chuck Norris jabs while we're at it...
Indeed. And many of them rather sincerely and passionately. Anyone gettng on their high horse here about the need to distance themselves from Twilight fans 'cause it sucks probably needs to look at their own tastes with a trifle more honesty, no?
My tastes are impeccable, and my entertainment subjected to a withering gauntlet of critical examination, a crucible from which only the pure survives to stir me.
So when I say I like, for example, Toho's 1972 classic Godzilla vs. Gigan, you may be assured that it is fucking art.
So when I say I like, for example, Toho's 1972 classic Godzilla vs. Gigan, you may be assured that it is fucking art.
[yt]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lu_PY405f40[/yt]
I think SiorX hit the nail on the head with the Bond movie comparison. They hold up as a hero a male wish-fulfillment fantasy who is ridiculously skilled, fighting mockably bad villains bent on the laughable goal of world-domination, considered cool because he's a tail-gettin' stud who plainly hates women. Men adore him whereas I've been baffled by every boyfriend who harangued me with how fantastic the movies are. I rolled my eyes until they were sprained and then fell asleep trying to watch From Russia with Love, Dr. No and Goldfinger. Any dude who digs Bond has no business bagging on Twilight which is only equally as stupid and bad.
Because of Twilight I am now on Team Neelix
I've seen the third movie today, with Rifftrax of course. All the actors there looked like they were embarrassed to be in the movie. No emotions, no acting, a really idiotic plot, funny vampire rules (WTF, they are stronger when they still have human blood? So why after a year or so they run really fast and are really strong?). And then there was some werewolf dude who spent the entire movie shirtless, even in scenes on some high mountain where it snowed heavily ...
A killer Rifftrax, BTW.
A killer Rifftrax, BTW.
I listened to the Rifftrax sample (absolutely hilarious), but $3.99 for the whole thing is a non-starter for me.
I'm not sure what all the fuss is about. I've seen the first two Twilight movies, and they were mildly entertaining. Certainly nothing meriting a second watch, that's for sure, but nothing as horrible as the dribble that the SyFy channel serves up on Saturday nights.
The books and movies are made mostly for teenage girls so no wonder people outside the target group won't find them appealing. Even if they were well done (I've never seen them so I can't comment on that) I doubt the non target audience would like it. Perhaps they'd mock it less or outright ignore it but that's about it.
If they books get these pre and teen girls to be interested in reading then they'll do some good.
If they books get these pre and teen girls to be interested in reading then they'll do some good.
My sincerest thanks for mentioning this - I spent yesterday evening laughing way too loud for 1am when I have neighbours over those videos.
Brilliant.
In the Twilight universe werewolves, even in human form, have a very high body heat as if they were running a fever. What's dumber is they hid-out with Bella at the top of that mountain without, you know, bringing anything with them like heavy blankets, space heaters, thermal underwear and stuff like that.
The werewolves running around the whole movie shirtless (more apparent in the second movie) is just pandering to drooling teenage girls at its worst. There's also a bit of a double-standard with these movies. Out there there's one of those "demotivator" images (reproduction of those "motivation" posters from the 90s) featuring a bunch of middle-aged women excited for the coming Twilight movie. You see, older women like these movies because of the handsome, scantly clad, young men in them.
Now. What do you think the public reaction would be to a bunch of middle-aged men excited to see a movie because it featured scantly-clad young women in it?
Old school Bond, maybe. But does any Dalton or later Bond movie really treat women as wretchedly as Twilight?
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