Trek XI Caption Contest #17: Tough Crowds

[All Seeing Eye]

"Something something something dark side."

Nero: Dear God you're an ugly bunch.

Kirk: We're not the ones who's face is zoomed 10 times bigger on the view screen and who looks like their head is stuck in a fish bowl.

Nero: Damn your 23rd century view screens!

 

[cooleddie74]

SPEAKER:"I'm just bullshitting without any bookends to any of this.

Who here wants to see naked pictures of my cousin Amanda? She'll blow ANYTHING."

NERO:"Can someone please throw some food flakes in here?

I'm starving in this thing."

 

[cooleddie74]

ROBAU:"You DARE question the all-powerful and mighty Baldz?"

 

[The Squire of Gothos]

Captain Robau; So, knowing the killbots would shut down after 10000 kills, I sent wave after wave of my own redshirts to the death, winning the battle.
All; You suck!
Kirk; Interesting...

 

[cooleddie74]

"...most of you will die in the first wave of the assault.

Those we will call Operation Cannon Fodder.

Or CANON Fodder...if you're a continuity freak. The continuity freaks deserve to go down first if you ask me."

 

[cooleddie74]

"Hi, guys.

I'm the ghost of Captain Robau. Just wanted to pop in for a sec and say I think you're doing a great job. Keep it up.

And remember...you're not really dead...so long as there's a cult set up to worship you."

 

[All Seeing Eye]

Spock: Wait a minute, there's something fishy going on here. You're not the face of Boe!!!!!!!

 

[Plecostomus]

Undead Billy Mays continued to hock detergent products well into the 23rd century. Here he can be seen pitching his latest product line "RedMatter, The Only Detergent Powerful Enough To Dissolve A Planet!"

 

[BorgMan]

Nero: That kid you had in the back, the one missing? The one in the red shirt? Yeah, him, he gave me the last ingredient I needed to make RED MATTER (tm), so prepare to die!
Kirk: Wait, are you sure you're in the right movie? You sound an awfull lot like Gargamel, but just because our ship is all white and blue doesn't mean we're a Smurf!
Nero: ...

 

[TOSTNGDS9VOYENT]

Nero: Ok, I reset, how do I look now?

Kirk: Much better!

 

[All Seeing Eye]

Nero: I'm sorry gentlemen but you've caught me at a rather awkward time, i'm currently undergoing a cling film face lift. Do call again in about an hour.

 

[Hartzilla2007]

Robau to Kirk: Go forth my son and kick much ass.

Kirk: Hey your not my father!

Robau: Thats what you think.

 

[Hedbergian]

Kirk: And now for our daily prayer. Viewscreen on. Our Robau, who art in Kelvin, badass be thy name ...

 

[All Seeing Eye]

Spocks academy graduation ceremony speeches were legendary for sending people to sleep regardless of species. Even the Raptolians who never require sleep were often found to start snoozing.

 

[M'Sharak]

Nero: Ok, I reset, how do I look now?

Kirk: Much better!

Heh heh, nice.

 

[All Seeing Eye]

Kirk: You're not related to a guy named Chakotay are you?

Nero: Cha what?

Kirk: Huh, what? never mind.

 

[S'kai]

Thanks for the win! Fun it is !

Another focus on an irrelevant detail:

The drones marched into the dismemberment chamber not noticing the grain chute in their midst that would be their only exit.

 

[Civil Shadow]

SPEAKER:"I'm just bullshitting without any bookends to any of this.

Who here wants to see naked pictures of my cousin Amanda? She'll blow ANYTHING."

Kirk: What the hell, Spock? You switched it to the Nero channel just when it was getting good!
Spock: It is illogical to harbour sexual desire for your best friend's mother, in this case me and mine.
Kirk: But it is human. Please?
Spock: No.
Kirk: Just three sec-
Spock: Very no.

 

[All Seeing Eye]

Nero: I assure you Kirk, Tachyon Shield will win this caption contest, his previous captions are completely full of pure win. Infact I find it mind boggling he's never won or even got a mention in previous contests but this time that will be different.

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Kirk: Mr. Spock, prepare to fire the Canon Cannon!
Nero: My Canon Cannon is bigger than yours... FIRE!