Kirk- SULU! did you change the wallpaper again? He just loves Mac OS Robau
Spock- it's better than yours with the big giant head that looks like you in 30 years
Trek XI Caption Contest #17: Tough Crowds
- Thread starter Rat Boy
- Start date
Kirk- SULU! did you change the wallpaper again? He just loves Mac OS Robau
Spock- it's better than yours with the big giant head that looks like you in 30 years
Uhura off screen: There's Nero off the sarboard bow, starboard bow, starboard bow. Nero off the sarboard bow, starboard bow Jim.
Kirk: Sulu, didn't I tell you to take the viewscreen off Full Mag?
Kirk- Behold Spock! my new 100 inches tv
Spock- that looks like more than 100 inches
Kirk- that's what she said
Nero: Tap your heels three times and say, "I want canon restored," Jimmy.
SPEAKER:"Who here has ever eaten THREE Grand Slam breakfasts in a row and on the same day at Denny's?
Anyone?
Hello?
I rest my case."
NERO: "In my century, Kirk, these tattoos are a symbol of prowess and power.
Plus, I lost a bar bet when I was nineteen."
Spock: It's life Jim but not as we know it, not as we know it, not as we know it. It's life Jim but not as we know it, not as we know it Captain.
NERO:"Don't believe me that I've changed your history, gentlemen?
Look at your historical databanks. Now you'll find that Gallagher WAS funny after all!"
All Seeing Eye
Admiral
Nero: Welcome to the brig, lads. I hope the next 84 years pass as
swiftly and as pleasantly as the Earth Romulan cold war.
Kirk: I must protest. You only supplied us with single-berth
accommodation!
Nero: Tal'Shiar directive 597 clearly states "One berth per
Romulan prisoner." And as Spocky is the only crew
member with Romulan equivalent DNA, 1 berth is all you get.
Spock: What about entertainment? You are obliged to provide us with
minimum leisure facilities. Games, literature, hobby activities,
motion pictures.
Nero: And in accordance with Tal'shiar directive 312, you'll find in
the storage cupboard over there a chess set with 31 missing pieces, a
knitting magazine with a pull-out special on crocheted hats, a puzzle
magazine with all the crosswords completed and a video of the excellent
cinematic treat, "Wall-papering, Painting, and Stipling -- a DIY
guide." And fulfilling all prisoner dietary requirements, dinner
tonight, gentlemen, will consist of sprout soup, followed by sprout
salad, and for desert -- I think you'll like it, rather unusual --
sprout crumble.
Kirk: Sprouts make me chuck.
Nero: Well, this is awful. I've got you down for sprouts almost every
meal. I tell a lie. It is every meal. Anyway, must dash-erooni. I've got
to organise your daily provision of musical entertainment. I think you're
going to like it: It's a perpetually-looped tape of "Reggie Dixon's Tango Treats."
Star Trip : XI sometimes can't help myself....
Ben Stine : Then I costarred in Ferris Bueler's Day Off with Mathew Brodrick, did you know that was his first big feature film....
Kirk : When does this happen in the movie....
Spock : We've done that joke....
Kirk : No WE haven't, technically speaking, that particular caption was for TOS with Shatner and Nimoy sitting in the Rec Room looking at a viewer, this is the new $150 million Star Trek movie with you and me....
Spock : Okay.... We're looking at now....
- W -
* Smirks *
Ben Stine : Then I costarred in Ferris Bueler's Day Off with Mathew Brodrick, did you know that was his first big feature film....
Kirk : When does this happen in the movie....
Spock : We've done that joke....
Kirk : No WE haven't, technically speaking, that particular caption was for TOS with Shatner and Nimoy sitting in the Rec Room looking at a viewer, this is the new $150 million Star Trek movie with you and me....
Spock : Okay.... We're looking at now....
- W -
* Smirks *
Spock: Its an optical illusion. Thats our new window washer, Greg!
Kirk: Shouldn't we wave or something?
INSTRUCTOR: Ok, in reaction to Cadet Kirk's cheating, we've changed up the Kobayashi Maru test this year. The new test is as follows. I will say, "Duck, Duck......Goose!", at which point you will have two seconds to duck down, after which I will fire a hand phaser, set to kill, into your ranks.
Nero: I am trying to reach a Doctor M'Benga, I hear he is aboard your vessel.
Kirk: Who? Spock?
Spock: No clue.
Kirk: I thought JJ cut his scene?
Dr. M'benga: He what!!!!!!!!!!!!
SPEAKER:"...to be honest, I don't like or respect ANY of you. I'm only here because the Commandant paid me plenty to B.S. to you collection of post-adolescent freaks for forty minutes.
I've got two Risan hookers and a huge bag full of uncut Arcturian blow waiting in my hover-limo outside...go screw yourselves, and get sucked into a black hole along with your stupid little ships!
That said...make the Federation PROUD! Good luck, and may the wind be at all your backs!"
NERO:"Uhhh...sorry to call you again...but...
Did I leave my wallet over there?
Anyone?"
CADET:"Hey.
A week's worth of rec hall credits says this admiral swings both ways.
You in?"
Spock: "No. Just be grateful we're not on the lower decks."
Spock: Its an optical illusion. Thats our new window washer, Greg!
Kirk: Shouldn't we wave or something?
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