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Trek XI Caption Contest #17: Tough Crowds

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Nero: You guys think I look bad? From here you look like Kirk and Spock bobbleheads!
 
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Spock- this will be the most challenging assignment yet.

And a one and a two!

Who can take a sunrise
Sprinkle it with dew
Cover it in chocolate and a miracle or two
The Candy Man The Candy Man can
The Candy Man can 'cause he mixes it with love and makes the world taste good
Who can take a rainbow
Wrap it in a sigh
Soak it in the sun and make strawberry-lemon pie
The Candy Man The Candy Man can
 
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Nero: "Good evening. I would like to take this time to ask you gentlemen if you would be interested in a fantastic opportunity with the AmWay company.."
 
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Nero: Where Did that young officer go -- the one who was sitting at the console to my left.

Kirk: You must mean Mr. Bailey, our navigator...He had to go change his underwear. Seeing a Big floating head on the viewscreen often has that effect on him.
 
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Spock: You will know fear... fear in the face of danger... then you will die especially if you wear red.
Cadet in the way, way back: Great, join Starfleet and see the universe. There was nothing about dying in the brochure.


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Nero: James T. Kirk was a great man in another lifetime... he was also a fatty...
Kirk: Not in this lifetime buddy.
 
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Voice over public-address speaker: Will the operator of the white shuttlecraft with registry November
Charlie Charlie One Seven Zee-row One please come to the parking area? Your lights are on.
 
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Here we can see the a capella orchestra used by Giacchino to record the score for the film.

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Nero: "FEAR ME AND MY INCOMPREHENSIBLE MIGHT. TREMBLE BEFORE MY- -DAW! You didn't even put on the 3-d glasses??!"
 
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First, I will send my weakest henchmen to kill you.
After they fail, I will send slightly stronger henchmen to kill you.
And so on in that fashion until I unleash my ultimate weapon.
Finally, we will have a one-on-one fight in a room with a really big pit.
Hahahahahahahaha!
 
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Nero: Don't get too used to that shirt, Kirk. I plan to rip it from your chest in our climatic battle at the near end of this motion picture!
Spock: Sexy... I mean, fascinating.
 
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Nero: "James T. Kirk was a great man, but that was another life!"

Kirk: "Oh yeah, prove it."

Nero: "Your best friend turned into a god and you had to kill him."

Kirk: "Bones? Well, he got super drunk once and I had to punch him to keep from jumping off the top of the dorm."

Nero: "Well then, you made up a fake substance to bluff a powerful alien into not destroying your ship."

Kirk: "Corbomite? I told that Orion I had corbomite poisoning to get out of a second date."

Nero: "Oh yeah, well, you caught a space pimp selling sub-standard prostitutes."

Kirk: "You mean Carl?"

Nero: "Damn, this is harder than I thought..."
 
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The cadets waited anxiously as the results of this week's caption competition were announced.

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Kirk wasn't impressed with Spock's pirated version of the first Hulk movie.
 
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The tension mounted as the results were about to be read during the latest installment of Federation Idol.



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Nero: "...and after I came to, the party was still going strong. The only things that were any different than before I passed out was my face painted like this....and you and your permanent marker were gone. You will pay for this Kirk."

Kirk: "Uh oh."
 
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NERO: Wow, your eyes, so blue, so mesmerzing!!! The historical records don't do them justice!
 
Star Trek : The Rebooted Final Frontier

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Kirk:
Isn't that Captain Robau ?

Spock: No Jim. He is God. And he needs the Enterprise.

God/Robau: You doubt me?

Kirk: I’d just like to ask a question. What.. does.. God.. need.. with.. a starship?
 
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