TOS Temporary Caption Contest #1: Look, Don't Touch

[Shatmandu]

Hiya, folks.

The scrimage was fun, but I miss the way the regular contests go, with the captions of the two pictures evolving, and being photoshopped, over time.

Again, I'm just doing this on a temporary basis until Outpost4 comes back.

Here are the two caps for this week. I'll change them out weekly, if not earlier. Feel free to send me screencaps you'd like to see used.

Have at thee.

Joe, temp

 

[John Picard]

Kirk and the young man were appreciative of two things that day -- that Rand wasn't wearing panties and that the decks had been waxed to a mirror finish.

 

[Shatmandu]

Charlie: "On Thasus, I learned about sex from three hundred hours of porno."
Kirk: "Well ..."
Charlie: "Can I have a job as a pizza delivery man?"

Spock: "We did not see you there, Mister Sulu."

 

[cooleddie74]

KIRK:"Yes, Charlie.

THAT'S a muff."

UHURA:"Hold me, Spock.

Hold me like you did in that alternate timeline that hasn't happened yet."

 

[cooleddie74]

CHARLIE:"You SMELL like a girl.

And I'm not even going to mention what THAT part of you smells like."

 

[Nerys Myk]

SPOCK: I assure you, it's a standard Vulcan greeting, though tongue is optional.

UHURA (woozy): Greet me again.

 

[cooleddie74]

SPOCK:"As you can clearly see from Miss Uhura's facial expression, sir...

I am the mack daddy."

 

[Michael]

Where the fuck is Outpost4 anyway? I miss this dude. Well, in a purely heterosexual way, of course.

Charlie: Oh, I read about that; it's called cellulitis, right?

Uhura: We did what in the other timeline?!

 

[cooleddie74]

CHARLIE:"Why are you wearing tap shoes?"

UHURA:"Did I miss something?!

When did the turbolift doors have a globe with a dagger through it??"

 

[Tan Ru]

KirK: Yes Charlie, this is a girl. And "camel-toe" is just a vulgar figure of speech....

 

[cooleddie74]

KIRK:"Yeoman Rand will explain that to you, Charlie.

But if you want her to do so, you'll need to stop staring at her legs and shoving your right hand into your front pocket."

 

[Candlelight]

Rand: "What is it Captain?"
Kirk: "Why that's a hobo, Rand. One of the many wonderful exports from Earth. If you stand here long enough he might steal your shoes"
Charlie: "Are you gonna eat that tricorder?"

"That's Dr Martin Luther King. He's convinced me to stick around the ship for a while longer."
"He was asking to speak to Yeoman Rand as well"
"I told him she was busy"

 

[cooleddie74]

CHARLIE:"The microtapes from my old ship were right about girls, Captain...

Her ass is bangin'!!!"

UHURA:"Whaddya think, Mister Spock?"

SPOCK:"No confusion here, Lieutenant.

Mister Sulu is a flamer."

 

[Rat Boy]

Rand: "Hey, you're the one who dropped the pen. You pick it up."

Uhura *whispering*: "Forget."

Spock: "Look, it only works if you're Vulcan. I know you're first name now and I'm going to tell the whole world."

 

[26138]

Spock: Why yes, I do believe Lt. Uhura's hailing frequencies are open.

 

[Herkimer Jitty]

Kirk and Charlie (Monotone): "All glory to the Hypnoboobs."

 

[Shatmandu]

Kirk: "All right, Charlie, I see you've got your bag. Here's mine."

Spock: "I clearly hung a sock on the turbolift control knob, Captain."

 

[Candlelight]

"What's he going on about now?"
"I do not know. It appears he is not too happy with your morning hair"
"Hey if you weren't banging-"
"That'll do, Lieutenant"

 

[Gertch]

"Thank you for watching him Yeoman and I'm sorry about the stain. Charlie - bad boy! We don't scrub our butts on the rug."

 

[Shatmandu]

Spock: "Now you know what a Warp Core Breach feels like up close and personal-like, baby."