TOS Caption Contest #94 - Best of Show

[Rat Boy]

Woman watching at home in the 60s: "Honey, there's something wrong with the tint again. That lady's green! Go fiddle with the knobs."

Man watching at home in the 60s: "Oh, I'll fiddle with her knobs all right."

Scotty: "Aye, I think I figured out how to reverse it. All we need is a sample of Yeoman Rand's hair..."

Kirk: "On second thought, let's hold off on that. I actually prefer Janice this way."

 

[M'Sharak]

"Pardon me... do you have any Grey Poupon?"

 

[Shatmandu]

Spock: "Well, Captain, you did ask for two melons and the tuna surprise ..."

 

[Nerys Myk]

Inspired by Rat Boy

SCOTTY: "Aye, tis called the Brundle Effect."

 

[Outpost4]

Inspired by Rat Boy

You can get shots for this.

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Oh... Rabbit Ears gags work. I'll have to remember that for future reference.

Garth: "She's not actually an Orion you know... We paint all the sluts in here green for easy reference. Saves on time, and foreplay."

Kirk: "I thought I told you to get rid of that mutt Mr Scott."
Scott: "But Captain, when you squeeze his balls, he screams just like my dear mother's favourite set of bagpipes."

 

[Gil T.Azell]

[

Spock: "Well, Captain, you did ask Green Eggs and Ham"
or
Marta: " Would you prefer me in a Bat Girl Out fit, I do have a very tight leather one in my quarters, crotchless panties Captain very nice"

 

[Triskelion]

Waiter I specifically asked for a little dirt, not the whole mineshaft.

Scotty: I caught him on a corndog.

Spock: It's a Dorkdog.

 

[Shatmandu]

Garth: "She can breathe through her nose."
Kirk and Spock together: "We'll take it."

Scotty: "Captain, just because he dunna fit in your purse any longer is not a good reason to put a dog down ..."

 

[Rat Boy]

Kermit the Frog: "Hey, what are you doing with my sister?"

 

[Shatmandu]

Kermit: "She likes it froggy-style, Jim-boy."

 

[Rat Boy]

Kermit the Frog: "It ain't easy doin' green. Ain't cheap, either."

 

[Shatmandu]

Kermit: "This piece of ass is brought to you by the letter $ and the number fifty."

 

[M'Sharak]

Kirk: No. No, I suppose it isn't easy being green.

 

[cooleddie74]

GARTH:"You should really indulge her, my dear Captain.

Her Cleveland Steamers are legendary."

"Look, Scotty...Mister Spock and I can't keep coming all the way down to the transporter room EVERY TIME this ugly bastard leaves a mound of horned droppings in this thing.

Get some gloves...and a can of air spray...and do it yourself. That's an ORDER."

 

[cooleddie74]

KIRK:"W-Why...no.

I, uh...I haven't ever had fantasies about doing giant leprechaun women in a bowl of Lucky Charms."

 

[Rat Boy]

Spock: "Captain, that is not a cucumber in her panties."

 

[cooleddie74]

SPOCK:"Be careful, sir.

Those breasts do NOT look real. They may contain monitoring devices...or even explosives."

 

[cooleddie74]

"We need to get him fixed, sir.

The lad...his horn is keepin' him from washing his own privates. One more accident, and he's gonna spay HIMSELF."

 

[Mallory]

Kermit: I told you this place was hopping Captain!