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TOS Caption Contest #58 - Smug Mug edition

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Higgins, I told you I'm on a case, and I don't have time to be in Robin Masters Star Trek fan film, now are you going to give me the keys to the Farrari or not?
 
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KIRK: An Enzyte ad? You're shooting an Enzyte ad? Not on my ship you don't!




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Chapel's narcolepsy wasn't half as annoying as her incessant humming in her sleep, when tended to make Spock nod off.
 
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SHATNER:"Wait...I...I thought we were shooting a laxative commercial in costume."




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Nobody on the bridge ever had the courage to tell Nurse Chapel that eating asparagus and beans was a bad idea.
 
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Spock: "Captain, What are you doing down there?"

Chapel: "Whatever it is...don't stop."
 
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Nimoy: Shatner i swear to god if you carry on wining about not been cast in the new movie i am going to kick your spoilt brat little ass

Shatner: Little, do you have any idea how much work i did to get gloots like these..... you'd think the least they would do is let me show them off in oh say a new movie..

POW WACK KABANG

Nimoy: I tried to warn you!
:devil: :vulcan: :devil:
 
*Meanwhile, back in the year 1973...*

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Shatner: "Don't give me that self-righteous crap. We need money to put food on the table and this is the only paying acting job we could get."

Nimoy: "Fine, let's just get this over with."

Marker guy: "'Sex Trek: The Next Penetration,' Scene 8, Take 2."

Director: "Action!"

Shatner: "So, Mr. Spank. I've heard you and Dr. Boner have been getting along well."
 
And now, a two-for-one deal on Photoshops. First up:


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Spock: "Hurry up, Nurse. You know the rules; puff, puff, give."


And I'll delete this one if the mods have a problem with it, but I couldn't stop myself:


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Spock: "Captain?!"

Kirk: "What? I dropped my pen!"
 
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And so shooting on the very special episode about Kirk and Spock's secret gay tryst commenced.





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McCOY:"I don't know WHICH one of you just let that one fly...but for the love of all that's sacred, guys, can't you wait until you get back to your quarters? Sheeeesh."
 
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Even Spock has bad days

Spock: RTHHTRRHHRHHHPPPHPBRPBTBP!

Kirk: Jesus Christ Spock, did you have to do that... it smells awful like that Vulcan soup shit ya like.

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Chapel <vibrating sound in background and Chapel whimpering under breath> Ah Ah AH AHHH! Oh Spoooocccck Do me, take me nooow.

McCoy: Do you hear something whirring?

Spock: No doctor.

<off camera> Kirk: Been at the sarian brandy again?

Uhura: Sounds remotely familiar sir.
 
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Spock <thinking> Maaan I shouldn't have had all that booze... Man what a night... Last time I go out and be illogical with the Captain.

Kirk: Be quiet Spock, your mindmeld is making my head hurt.

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Noone knew that Majel was holding a pocket vibrator in her hand between takes, to relieve herself of the lust over Spock.
 
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*Somewhere in the 31st Century*

Melllvar: "Places everyone, places! We're doing this again!"

Shatner: "God, how long is that gas blob going to keep...hey, who the hell are you and how did you get on this planet?"

Scruffy: "Name's Scruffy. I'm the janitor."



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Kirk: "Hey, a quarter!"
 
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Production often came to a grinding halt when Shatner's 5 year old son, Francis, got loose on the set...
 
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Kirk: "No, Nurse, it doesn't look like you broke the heel of your shoe. Hey, wait a minute; what are you doing with your...oh."
 
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Nurse Chapel seemed to be the only one to appreciate the westlife CD sent by starfleet to fill those awkward silences

:wtf:
 
Alyssa said:
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Nurse Chapel seemed to be the only one to appreciate the westlife CD sent by starfleet to fill those awkward silences

:wtf:


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And if that didn't work, there was always Ensign Walking Bear's peace pipe.
 
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