TOS Caption Contest #50: A Question . . .
- Thread starter Shatmandu
- Start date
GOF : What is your name ?
Kirk : James T. Kirk, Captain of the U.S.S. Enterprise NCC-1701
GOF : What is your quest ?
Kirk : To go back in time and save history as we know it.
GOF : What is the airspeed velocity of an unlaiden swallow ?
Kirk : African Or Europian ?
GOF : I don't know.....
* WHOOSH *
GOF : AaaaaaaaaHhhhhhhhh.
Spock : I had no idea you knew so much about Swallows.
Kirk : When your captain, you have to know these things.
Dear Diary, I went back in time, met this lovely lady, bagged her, never found out her name, but I have this funny feeling that somehow i'm now my own grandpa....
Kirk: "I dated a girl from Cunnilist 4 once who had one that big"
Spock: Indeed? Its a miracle you survived sir"
Kirk: "It took a month of sonic shower to get rid of the slime"
Or Kirk: "Biggest damed cock ring I ever saw"
Rat Boy said:
Kirk: "Hey, wait a minute. Didn't that guy look like MacGuyver?"
Spock: "And why did he call you T.J.?"
Spock: "I was thinking he looked more like Snake Plisskin."
Kirk: That other guy, wearing the glasses. I had the feeling I knew him. Maybe in another life?
Shatmandu said:
Spock: Pull upyour pants Captain, this is not a female oraface.
Kirk: <trying to insert> I can't help it, I miss the green broad's loose pussy, and this thing looks just like it...
Kirk: "Dear Rand, I want your big fat white ass riding my prick in my cabin at 22:00 and bring the money biaaatch."
Spock: "Wait a minute. Dr. Jackson died but was resurrected? That's got to be the stupidest plot twist I've ever heard."
Edit: And do you know how freakin' long it took me to arrange all the Stargate glyphs properly? It makes Photoshopping in the Carl Spock wig look simple by comparison.
Kirk: "Dear diary: I miss Janice. She was great. Making love to the wig I made her leave is no substitute to sending her off on an errand and making love to her freshly soiled undergarments . . ."
Kirk, after leaping back through by himself: "All right, Helen of Troy was amazing in the sack. Guardian, now show me Marilyn Monroe's life. Spock, tell me when to jump in, 1958-ish. And Ann-Margret is next, so get to work on that one."
Guardian, sadly: "I ... am a pimp. After all these years, I ... have become ... a pimp ..."
Shatner in his idle moments; "I think Gene will love this, I'll have a big spider and a sister ship to the Enterprise..."
Hambone said:
Outpost4 said:
Kirk: Damn, I never leave enough room for the nacelles.
So I went to middle school with Jim Kirk?!! Who knew?
Bastard stole my drawings.
I also refuse to believe he would draw them without making sound effects at the same time!
The Squire of Gothos said:
Hambone said:
Outpost4 said:
Kirk: Damn, I never leave enough room for the nacelles.
So I went to middle school with Jim Kirk?!! Who knew?
Bastard stole my drawings.
I also refuse to believe he would draw them without making sound effects at the same time!
My daughter and I got out the Play-Doh last night, and I got about halfway done before I realized I was making a 1701 Enterprise.
I'll bet I made hundreds of them back in the old days. And the one I made last night looked just as bad.
Joe, who also made a ducky and a froggy
I'd like to do that too. But with my own daughter. And not before she's realised Play-Doh is to be played with and not eaten.
"Dear Captain's Diary,
Today Sulu said he liked me! :-)"
Guardian: "Time has resumed its shape; all is as it was before. Many such journeys are possible. Let me be your gateway."
McCoy: "Congratulations, Jim; you're now the proud father of the population of the entire state of New Mexico."
Kirk: "Then my mission was a success. Let's the get the hell out of here."
This is why you can't be president. 