TOS Caption Contest #50: A Question . . .

[M'Sharak]

"What is this thing, Mr. Spock? It seems to be pulsating with power of some kind. Analysis, please."
"Unbelievable, Captain."
"That's funny."
"This single object is composed almost entirely of gin, a hint of vermouth... and two olives."
"That's an awfully large martini, Mr. Spock."
"Indeed."

 

[NathanielM]

Kirk: A question? You mean you are not the universal 976 sexline?

Spock: It appears not to be Captain.

Kirk: Add Line A, B and C divide D...Multiple E and F and Add result of A,B,C,D... God Damn income taxes...

 

[Nerys Myk]

Something for the 40+ crowd

 

[Rat Boy]

 

[M'Sharak]

Nerys Myk said:
Something for the 40+ crowd

Photobucket seems to be taking a nap on that one -- I'll have to check back later.

Edit:

Better now. I remember those guys -- think one of them sings a little.

 

[Rat Boy]

Kirk: "Who was that stunning blond that came running out of there with the machine gun?"

Spock: "Dibs on the brunette."

Sulu (off-screen): "Hellooooooo, Dr. Jackson!"

 

[galleywest]

Rome wasn't built in a day--but this set was!

Memo to Chief Engineer Scott
Re: Communication Systems

Mr. Scott, I am sure you will appreciate the irony that I am communicating with my ship's engineer via handwritten note. While I enjoy the quaint throwback, if you don't get the communicators working post-haste you're FIRED.

 

[Shatmandu]

Kirk: "Dear Amanda: thanks for the wonderful night; I'll cherish it always. I will not tell Spock, unless I need to make him really mad to throw off spore possession or something. Love, Captain Juicy."

 

[NathanielM]

Kirk: Guardian can you show me the shower of Yeoman Rand?

Spock: Illogical Question Captain.

Guardian: Are you kidding?

Kirk: <struggling to draw lines on pad.> "Damn!" <shakes the pad and everyone is looking at him as they all discover he was not signing his name but playing with etch-a-sketch>

Kirk: <thinking> act casual... ACT casual...

 

[Outpost4]

Kirk: Damn, I never leave enough room for the nacelles.

 

[Outpost4]

Kirk: You'd think a Guardian of Forever would live in a nicer neighborhood.

 

[Shatmandu]

Kirk: "So, Oswald killed JFK? By himself? No shit? What about the mafia and the CIA and the military and LBJ and the rest?"
Spock, under breath: "Dumbass . . ."

Kirk: "Dear Starfleet: why are there no Latinos or Middle Easterners on my crew? Kirk, commanding, Enterprise."

 

[Shatmandu]

Kirk: "Did you fart?"
Spock: "I did not."
Kirk: "Well, it wasn't me. Must have been you."
Spock: "I did not."
Kirk: "Sure thing, Stinky."
Spock: "I did not."
Kirk: "Guardian, replay that event in time."
Guardian, outraged: "I am an instrument of knowledge! I will not . . ."
Kirk: "Then no more questions will be asked. None. Nada."
Guardian: "<sigh> Very wellll . . ."

 

[NathanielM]

Kirk: Damn i knew we should have beamed down the Giant Gulp cup off coffee, that giant is gonna be pissed he does not have enough coffee for his donut.!

Spock: <muttering> Double Dumbass...

<It took several different drafts of Kirk's Love letter to Yeoman Rand>

Kirk: <thinking> Roses are red violets are blue, I love you rand, spock and my crew... "Uh no no no (erases) Too GAY"

Kirk <thinking> Rand is my yeoman she is the best, She walks sucks and rides me the best... "Damn! No no no be sensitive... Not sex maniac."

Kirk: <thinking> Roses are red, Rand is the best, some nice tits cunt and a piece of ass... "Ohhhhh YEAAAA. Perfect!"

 

[NathanielM]

"Damn it I told you we should have not made that right turn in New Jersey..."

 

[Rat Boy]

Kirk: "See if you can dial this thing to Rand's bedroom."

Spock: "Captain, I do not believe the gate works like that."

Kirk: "Well how do you know unless you try?"

Spock: "Fine."

 

[NathanielM]

Kirk: "See if you can dial this thing to Rand's bedroom."

Spock: "Captain, I do not believe the gate works like that."

Kirk: "Well how do you know unless you try?"

Spock: "Fine."

<Spock dials it in and ends up in Sulu's dressing room and he is wearing nothing but a sheer nightie dancing about...>

Kirk: Uh spock that's not what I meant... try again...

 

[cultcross]

By the 23rd century, the Stargate franchise had added so many chevrons as plot devices they had merged together into a smooth ring.

 

[Rat Boy]

Kirk: "So let me get this straight: in the early 21st Century, Earth was almost destroyed by a bunch of religious fanatics flying through space in giant jock-straps?"

 

[NathanielM]

Kirk: I would hate to be the asshole to be waiting for the giant's dog to bring it back after they threw it.

Spock: Agreed....

Kirk: <thinking as he writes>

A A A A A A A A A A a a a a a a a a a a

B B B B B B B B B B b b b b b b b b b b

C C C C C C C C C C c c c c c c c c c c

D D D D D D D D D D d d d d d d d d d p

Kirk: "DAMN!"