TOS Caption Contest #50: A Question . . .

[Rat Boy]

Kirk: "Wait a minute, why am I getting billed for 8 adult movies? I only watched 'Giant Green Asses.'"

 

[cooleddie74]

"Here, Yeoman...

But you TELL that Federation Express guy...this is the last time anyone on this ship signs for a box of Vulcan aphrodisiacs that nobody even ordered!"

 

[Shatmandu]

Kirk: "Hey Guardian, can you show Spock the filthy things I did to that Ruth woman back at the Academy?"
Guardian: "I am not a peep show booth!"
Kirk: "Okay, fine. We won't ask any more questions. None. Zip. Nada."
Guardian, sighing: "Very welllll . . ."

Kirk, grumbling: "Memo to Dr. McCoy: Lay off the hooch, asswipe."

Kirk: "For some reason, this reminds me of prom night."

 

[cooleddie74]

SPOCK:"Fascinating structure, Captain...unfortunately, it's not rigged for wireless."

"Dammit.

I hate playing GEARS OF WAR on a PADD."

 

[Rat Boy]

Kirk: "God, I hate taking deli orders."

 

[A beaker full of death]

mmmm..... inter-temporal dimensional gateway with strawberry glaze....

 

[Outpost4]

Funny, beaker.

 

[Nerys Myk]

Between takes Shatner jots down a few ideas for the the show:

1) Fan dance by Nichelle

2) Beans=farts

3) Scotty bumps head

4) God is an alien

5) How many decks?

 

[Redfern]

I don't have a caption myself, but surely some of the clever b*st*rds here can think of one for this "'shopped" image.

Sincerely,

Bill

 

[Ihlecreations]

Kirk: What the hell am I looking at? When does this happen in the episode?
Spock: Now. You're looking at now, sir. Everything that happens now is happening now.
Kirk: What hapened to then?
Spock: We passed then.
Kirk: When?
Spock: Just now. We're at now now.
Kirk: Go back to then.
Spock: When?
Kirk: Now!
Spock: Now?
Kirk: Now!
Spock: I can't.
Kirk: Why?
Spock: We missed it.
Kirk: When?
Spock: Just now.
Kirk: When will then be now?
Spock: Soon.
Kirk: How soon?
Guardian: Captain.
Kirk: What?
Guardian: We've identified Dr. McCoy's location.
Kirk: Where?
Guardian: It's 20th Century.
Spock: Good work. Fast Forward and prepare for our arrival.
Kirk: When?
Guardian: 1930.
Spock: By high noon we will have him back.
Kirk: WHO!?

 

[Outpost4]

Kirk: I think we're going to need a bigger rock.

 

[M'Sharak]

But then, they came to something which really put the Guardian's knickers in a
twist... or would have, had the Guardian been one to actually wear knickers.

 

[Haggis and tatties]

Spocks: "Tricorder readings indicate this is a remnants of one of the Plot holes from a ancient earth movie called Generations..."

The new thigh mounted captains log was a total god send in those quiet times.

 

[Rat Boy]

Kirk: "Guess this explains the pig tracks."

 

[Shatmandu]

Kirk: "Is this from when the show was funny, or is it from the final ten years?"

 

[Shatmandu]

Guardian: "I am my own beginning, my own ending. I am the Alpha and the Omega, the Yin and the Yang. I am the jam on your jelly roll and the cream in your coffee. I am the bomp-shoo-bomp-shoo-bomp and I am the ram in the rama-lama-ding-dong . . ."

Kirk, writing: "Lt. Sulu: many thanks for your kind offer. Unfortunately I do not own a German helmet, so I will not be able to accept your offer to polish it for me. See you in the steam room! Kirk, commanding, Enterprise."

Guardian: "Many such journeys are possible. Let me be your gateway."
Kirk: "No shit, huh? Okay, show me Spock's conception."

 

[A beaker full of death]

Shatmandu said:

Guardian: "I am my own beginning, my own ending. I am the Alpha and the Omega, the Yin and the Yang. I am the jam on your jelly roll and the cream in your coffee. I am the bomp-shoo-bomp-shoo-bomp and I am the ram in the rama-lama-ding-dong . . ."

 

[Shatmandu]

Kirk, writing: "Dear Mother and Father: things are going great. I got rid of the Yeoman with the 'problem.' Love, Jimmy. P.S. Sam's dead. His kids are your responsibility."

 

[Rat Boy]

Kirk: "Really? In spite of the fact that he admitted to using steroids? No wonder baseball died in the 21st Century."

 

[Shatmandu]

Spock, off-screen: "Miss Uhura, his lips are clearly moving as he reads and writes. I owe you twenty quatloos."