"Use your tricorder and check for any burnt-out bulbs..."
TOS Caption Contest #50: A Question . . .
- Thread starter Shatmandu
- Start date
"Use your tricorder and check for any burnt-out bulbs..."
"Here I sit...
broken hearted...
squeezed and strained...
and barely farted..."
Uhura, off-screen: "Captain, I'm scared . . ."
Kirk: "You're scared? I'm about to be Depression-era bunkmates with ol' double-dick here. Maybe his ancestors from that time period went both ways, who knows . . ."
Spock: "Captain, my Tricorder readings indicate your head is about to be replaced with Balok Puppet's. And I have the sudden urge to put on a fur coat and smack Uhura."
you rock Rat Boy, nice work. Oh and hey, I was 
Kirk:
Captain's Log Stardate 2465.4
I farted in my chair and I am afraid to move without gassing and killing the bridge crew.
I do understand some French.
touché.
I just want to make as much money as you (or play baseball. I came from the generation where girls weren't allowed to do boy sports).
If we're to be treated equally, why do you assume the man's habits will be the standard to which both should adhere?
It is Bonz, at whose virtual desk the buck stops.
But even as Bon, I find the ca-ca, pooh-pooh or titty/vulva jokes retarded. Real humor (for a caption contest) interests me. If I want locker humor, that's a dime a dozen and not something unique or particularly clever.
Not aimed at anyone. Just giving you the persective as the person running this place, and as a woman.
That doesn't mean it all has to stop. It just means that it would be better to make sure it doesn't go overboard and take over everywhere.
And yes, before anyone asks, I have a sense of humor. I'm married, ya know? And I have a brother and a husband who both can sling the pooh (or sexual) innuendo with the best.
Peace out.
Kirk, aloud: "Let's see here ... carry the four ... Add two for Karidian's bugshit crazy daughter ... That gives me ... <pause> Wow. Jeez!"
Scotty, off-screen: "What?"
Kirk: "I've had sex with fifty-two females."
All laugh, like at the end of an episode.
Sulu, off-screen: "That's humans only, though, right?"
Kirk: "Heh. Yeah, that's a whoooollle other clipboard, man ..."
Jimmy contemplates drawing a liger.
Kirk: "I mean, come on. He admitted to using performance enhancers. Why didn't anyone care? Why didn't anyone try to strip him of the record?"
Spock: "Jim, let it go. No one gave a shit about baseball after that."
Kirk: "I suppose your right. Guardian, show us something about football."
Guardian: "Behold...the 49ers!"
Kirk: "Now we're talking!"
Spock: Fascinating. Pure MDF -- this civilization was obviously doomed the moment that it entered its "Trading Spaces" period."
Dear Mr. Barlow, I hear that you're seeking a Robbie Williams lookalike for your "Take That" revival...
Kirk; Est-ce que vous êtes le Guardian de demain?
Guardian; Oui.
Spock; Bon.
Star Trek never took off in France, something was perhaps lost in translation.
Spock: "Holy lump of rock, Batman!"
Kirk: "More feeling."
Spock: "Why do I always have to be Robin?"
