TOS Caption Contest #46: Russian Green
- Thread starter Shatmandu
- Start date
Among the long list of dark secrets on the Enterprise , the drunken engineer, the cross dressing helmsman, or the emotionally erratic science officer ready to snap behind his emotionless facade was also Captain Kirk's merciless beatings that were required for all new crew members.
Mister Spock had been right about two things.
The bong would create an unprecedented amount of smoke.
And it would be the best shit they'd ever toked.
"Say 'wessel' again, asshat...
I dare ya!!
SAY 'WESSEL' AGAIN!!!"
DrBob said:
Scotty: "I did'nee know tribble fur would burn so quickly in a Haggis, we need more sheep stomach in here!"
And/Or
A drunken Mr. Scott decided to cool down the warp core by peeing on it.
Crew: "Eeeew thats nasty!"
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Captains Log: "... and these yellow wall plant-ons are both ugly and non-functional. [Squinting] Eeeespeciallly this one!"
And/Or
Armed with an iron grip and a steely blade, the Captain performed a rather unnecessary operation on Chekov called a ballectomy.
I don't know why, but I like the idea of Kirk with a meth lab
Seems somehow fitting for Kirk somehow, Carl with his weed, Kirk with his crystals
Female Science officer: "...I guess Kirk really does smoke after sex."
Lt: "Woooah, i though that was only legend among Starfleets top brass."
*COUGH! HACK!* "Well, that does it! I'm officially filing a complaint with Captain Kirk! Hopefully he'll ban any future Mr. Scott's Chili Con Carnivals!" *WHEEZE! COUGH!*
...and thus began the worst case of collective munchies in the entire history of Starfleet.
"Dammit, Pavel...the blunt smoke from the engineering deck is driving me nuts!!!
WHERE THE HELL ARE THOSE FUNYUNS AND BROWNIES?!?!?"
Ok, not to interrupt the thread, but I gotta ask...
What's with this "Carl Spock" stuff? I get the Balok head swap thing...it's just a simple photo edit...but this Carl Spock stuff seems to have a whole other personality to it. Is it some pop-culture reference I'm not familiar with or just an in-joke among these caption threads that took on a life of its own?
What's with this "Carl Spock" stuff? I get the Balok head swap thing...it's just a simple photo edit...but this Carl Spock stuff seems to have a whole other personality to it. Is it some pop-culture reference I'm not familiar with or just an in-joke among these caption threads that took on a life of its own?
"Dammit... Mr.Chekov! I... intend... to win... theCaptainMorganPoseOff! You... will... takemypicture! That... is... an... ORDER... mister!"
You've got it. Like Adagio said, it started with this:
Rand: "What's your first name, Mr. Spock?"
Spock: "It is unpronounceable to humans."
Rand: "I looked it up. It's 'Carl.' Your name is 'Carl Spock.'"
<Spock puts down stylus and grabs her face.>
Spock: "Forget."
Rand, matter-of-factly: "It is unpronounceable to humans."
And then Nerys Myk put the funky in with:
Nerys Myk said:
Can you dig it?
The two melded, and now Carl Spock is a funky undercover pimp who shows up in just about every contest, even in the Voyager and Next Generation sections.
His compatriots are Diamond Jim Kirk, The Reverend Doctor Lenny McCoy, The Real Slim Scotty, Whiskey Lips Sulu, Miss Cleopatra Uhura, and Bad Bad Leroy Chekov.
Joe, completely unfunky in all forms