TOS Caption Contest #248: Awkward Moments!
- Thread starter A.V.I.A.F.
- Start date
Pike: "You know, Keeper, you've really got a perverted sense of humor. Make me think that I'm watching my own self make love to her. As if being a voyeur yourself wasn't enough!"
Keeper: "Well, can you blame us? We've run out of interesting scenarios and hadn't tried this one yet."
Kirk: "Sorry, guys. The foursome's off. And...I guess I owe everybody here an apology. I guess I shouldn't presume so much."
Dohlman: "By all rights, I should scratch your eyes out!"
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Pike: After seeing Number One again, I've decided to stay. You're sure that you can maintain the illusion of me back aboard the Enterprise?
CAPT PIKE: You Know Keeper, I had an operation once,... back on Earth,.... when I was a kid,... my brother and I were lifting weights,... Dad gave them to us for Christmas,... I got a hernia,.... So like I said, I ended up in the hospital,... you know,.. to have this hernia operation,... We all had to get in the Station Wagon and drive in all this snow,... and the car was slishing and sliding all over the road,... and mom was crying,.. and yelling at my Dad for giving us the weight set,... Anyway,... when we got to the hospital this really fat nurse came in the room,... I mean really F-A-T,... and she had this razor,... Anyway,... did anyone ever tell you that your head looks just like a shaved nut-sack?!?
KEEPER: SILENCE!!!!!!!
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McCoy: SHHHHH! SHHHHHH! Whatd'ya know? I finally got the last word.
Spock: Not exactly Doctor, wait 3 minutes and the Captain will be screaming his own name.
SPOCK: Engineer Scott, how are you progressing on affecting repairs to the,...
SCOTT: ah,... ya might wanna back-up, just a wee bit Mr. Spock,... that spicy diner's been playing the devil with m' insides.
McCOY: ...FESTIVAL!!!, FESTIVAL!!!
DIRECTOR: (o.s.)... CUT!!!!
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Some of the Season 3 episodes were so boring that even Kirk couldn't stay awake through the whole episode.
Takei (to self): "Hmmm. After this guest spot, will I be typecast as someone who likes swords and knives? Nah, shouldn't be a problem. I'm up for this 'Star Trek' science fiction thing. No way they'd put swords in that one. They'll have all laser guns or something."
Spock: "Captain, may I ask what this new bridge decoration is that you brought back with you from shore leave?"
Kirk: "Spock, I moonlight as a bounty hunter, and that's all I'm going to say about it."
Spock: "Very well, Captain."
Spock: Captain, why did you steal that from Jabba's Palace?
Kirk: The girl in the metal bikini wouldn't leave without it.
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