TOS Caption Contest #199: The Wrath of Freiberger

[Rat Boy]

Vulcans may not bluff, but they do know when it's time for another caption contest. First up, let's humor...

And yes, she has a maw that can...er...never mind...

Spock (whispering): "Sir, she's right behind you. And yes, 'Doomsday Machine' is most apt terminology."

I think we're all owed a bottle of brain bleach for this one...

Kirk: No word of a lie! Bones said he had his arm in up to here when he delivered that baby on Capella IV!

Norman: I still say "bullshit!"

The things you do for Starfleet...

Kirk: Yes, of course I love you. (Muttering to himself) Spock, hurry up and get me the hell outta here.

You folks caught me in a generous mood, so here are your multiple Photoshop winners:

SHANA: If one does not place the "dinner" in the "tv", how does it cook?

Spock: I thought we wouldn't have to put up with all this "jerking around" on the bridge once we got rid of Kirk.

Commodore: "Is he there again?"
Spock: "Yes."
Commodore: "My son from the future?"
Spock: "Yes."
Commodore: "In that crotch revealing skin-tight getup?"
Spock: "Yes."
Commodore: "I just can't look... I can't."

Congratulations to the winners. Since I have all of your attention, I'd like to take a moment to announce something...

Yep, it's done. Finally. Only took me about a year or so, but it's done. Anyway, getting back to caption contest business, this week we have Kara channeling her inner zombie, Spock finally having enough of Scotty smelling of scotch while on duty, and Chekov wondering why Irina didn't get that freaky when they were going out. Have at:

 

[Rat Boy]

Kara: "Hmmmmmmmm."

*sticks finger up Kirk's butt hole*

Kara: "Strange, I thought that would be more fun."

Kirk (thinking): Me too.

Spock: "I've got an idea!"

Scotty: "To get us out of this mess?"

Spock: "No, I was thinking you should grow a moustache. It'd look smashing on you."

Adam: "Didn't I see you in a 20th Century boy band?"

Chekov: "Again vith de Monkee comparisons?!"

 

[LeadHead]

Kara: I'm looking for brains. I'm like a Zombie, but dumber.

Scotty: But, we're heading away from the Captain and Doctor McCoy!

Spock: Don't ask questions, play your cards right and you'll be the new First Officer.

Kirk: Mister Chekov, what can you tell me about Space Hippies?

Chekov: Invented in Russia, and we're still ashamed of that.

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Apollo wasn't the only legendary earth character who turned out to be an ancient astronaut. Here the crew of the Enterprise encounters Al Capp's Stupifyin' Jones.

Spock: "You have something I fervently hope is mayonnaise on the corner of your mouth."

Chekov: "But Irina was so level-headed at the Academy. What could your kind of lifestyle have offered to make her change so drastically? Freedom from responsibilities? A constant focus on personal pleasure and play? Drugs? Free sex? ... You know, suddenly I feel like such a herbert!"

 

[MANT!]

Adam "Davy?..DAVY JONES!! DUDE, remember when we jammed together at the Filmore?"
Chekov "Back avay from me, You Drug Crazed Smelly,Dirty Hippie!!!"

 

[Yeoman Randi]

RATBOY, Congratulations!

 

[Nerys Myk]

KARA: I thought humans had more stamina.

SPOCK: Call Doctor McCoy, I have a boo boo on my finger and I need it it kissed.

ADAM: And people laugh at my hair cut???

 

[Gary7]

Thanks for the Photoshop nod, Ratboy. And congrats on completing your book!

Kara: "OK I know I'm a knock-out, but this is ridiculous guys..."

Spock: "For shame. Your Starfleet pointed sideburns are uneven, Mr. Scott."

Adam (thinking): Man, that dude is in serious need of some hair stylin'!

 

[Gary7]

Spock: "Nowhere am I so desperately needed as among a shipload of illogical humans."

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Spock: I once caught a fish this...big...

Adam: No, I can't believe it either. I'm the same guy that will one day play the hardass General in "Little Green Men".

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Kara: This one seems to keep his brain in his pants.

Spock: I am unable to remove the alluring scent of Ms. Uhura from my finger.

Chekov: He's not my type. I svear!
Adam: That's not what you said in the sonic shower.

 

[Yeoman Randi]

Spock (drolly) : Yes Mr. Scott. You caught me. I picked my nose and i ate it. Yay for you.

 

[ItsGreen]

After the Teacher's knowledge wore off, The Snooki Monster
went wild at this years Halloween party on Jersey Shore.

 

[ItsGreen]

The technical term is "dried nasal mucus”
and yes Mr. Scott, it's green.

 

[Gary7]

Spock (smug): "It is true, Mr. Scott. Vulcan endowment is on average this much longer than for humans."
Scotty: "Borgas frat, I do'ant believe it. Next, ya'll be tellin' me that ya'll outlive us all!"

 

[Gary7]

Chekov: "You don't frighten me vith your primitive steel tipped vooden spear, mister. It's no match for my hand phaser."
Adam: "Herbert, you got it all wrong. We're pacifists--this here's a guitar, man!"
Chekov (clearly embarrassed): "Oh, right. I knew dat. I vas just making a joke."

 

[Gary7]

Kara: "Hahahaha... yeah, that does it. Hmmmm. OK... What the? Oh, dammit. I can't remember what I was supposed to do here! *Sigh*, I just hate being a stupid Morg. Oh well. Suppose I might as well just have a little fun. Oooooee, this one's got a cute butt!"

 

[Isis]

RATBOY, Congratulations!

Yes, congratulations, Rat Boy!

 

[Captain Crow]

Congratulations and thanks for the Photoshop co-win Rat Boy.

Scotty: Can I ask you a personal Mr. Spock?

Spock: Yes.

Scotty: When you're banging Uhura does she let you use both of them at the same time or does she make you alternate between them?

[Spock gestures for Scotty to go away]

 

[Isis]

"Don't mess with Carl Spock, baby!"