TOS Caption Contest #198: Poker Faces

[Rat Boy]

Martine? Teller? Who knows, but let's get this new caption contest started, first by honoring...

McCoy ought to be careful with those flaming shots...

MCCOY: Oh my head's on fire, yeah, that's reeeal funny Mr Chekov

SPOCK: Doctor, if I may...

I'm thinking the Tantalus Colony has about as much success with its patients as any rehab center trying to treat Lindsey Lohan...

Adams: Why Yes Captain, Captain Tracey and Doctor Daystrom were patients of mine. How did you know?

You know, some things just work out for the best even when it doesn't seem that way at the time...

How the marriage proposal went down:
(At the Starfleet Engineering crew mixer...)
Tomlinson: "No, really, I'm Captain Kirk."
Angela: "Sorry, I'm not THAT drunk yet..."
Tomlinson:"Marry me?"
Angela: "Okay."

Our default Photoshop winner...

Adams: "A Rabbid, Dr. Noel? Never heard of such a thing..."

Congratulations to the winners. This week, Commodore Decker wonders if this was the wrong week to quit drinking, Norman won't give back control of the ship without the magic word, and Kirk tries really hard to come up with a compliment. Have at:

 

[Rat Boy]

Decker (thinking): Guys wearing earrings and skirts all the way up to the waist. What the hell kind of outfit is Jim running?

Kirk: "I'm just saying; you dislocated it, put it back!"

Kirk: "It's...not that bad. All right, so that dip in the pool after you got your highlights put in seems like a bad idea in retrospect."

 

[Nerys Myk]

SPOCK: She doesn't like to be called "White Uhura".

KIRK: You said it wouldn't hurt.

SHANA: You're right, not hitting this would be a mistake.

 

[Mr. Adventure]

"Sir, I couldn't help but notice you do not have a thing in your ear. The crew are starting to talk."

"OK, Lt. Machismo, that'll be enough, thank you."

 

[Gary7]

Lt. Palmer: (thinking) They're talking about me again, I just know it. I never should have consented to that 3-way.

Kirk: "To heck with your height--my biceps are bigger than yours."

Kirk: "And that's what a face looks like to someone who's on LSD. You want some? I always keep a few blots tucked in my boots."

 

[Gary7]

Kirk: "You see a genie, Shahna? That's terrific; they grant wishes. Well, I wish for all of us to be out of here--quick!"

** POOF!! **

The landing party and thralls are all standing in the arena, in front of Galt.

Kirk: "What? No, not here!"

Genie: "Captain you weren't specific enough. How was I to know where you wanted to go, except to be out of that cage? And I'm sorry, I grant only one wish."

 

[ItsGreen]

When Kirk was trying to explain to Shahna what beautiful is,
the reflection from the chafing tray lid revealed who truly is the fairest of them all.

 

[ItsGreen]

Commodore the reason I became an announcer at the World Series of Poker
is because I was not good at the game.
Vulcan's never bluff!

 

[Gary7]

Shahna: "I see your future, James Kirk. In your elder years, you become an overweight egotistical lawyer in some place on Earth called Boston."

 

[Itisnotlogical]

"Captain, you may wish to look a bit less drunk when you come on the bridge."

"But... what if I am drunk?"

Kirk: Alright, you got me. They're implants.

 

[Gary7]

Kirk: "Four times a week at the gym, an hour per session. And a quart of Creatine just before you start. Seriously, it works. You'll bulk up in no time."

 

[ItsGreen]

Dr. McCoy gave me a shot to prevent tetanus.
You know, 500 Stella's. I have to take precautions.
I don't want to get lock-jaw!

 

[Gary7]

The Commodore felt compelled to continue in the tradition of his task force: command by pretzel-logic.

 

[Gary7]

Kirk: "Can you dress up like her? If so, I may reconsider giving you a little Kirk-time." (wink)

 

[Mr. Adventure]

"Sir, I do apologize, I don't know how you got the only yeoman in Starfleet who looks frumpy in a mini-skirt."

 

[Nerys Myk]

SHANA: If one does not place the "dinner" in the "tv", how does it cook?

 

[LeadHead]

Thanks for the win!

Kirk: (over comm) Mister Spock, damage report.

Spock: Warp Drive out, Transporter under repair, your Swedish-made-pen

Kirk: (over comm) I swear, it's not mine!

Kirk: Your touch is a little rough. I'm sorry but you're just not bridge material. Send in the next one, Uhura.

Kirk: Yes, of course I love you. (Muttering to himself) Spock, hurry up and get me the hell outta here.

 

[Gary7]

Spock: "Captain, the Commodore says he's not going to let any doomsday device keep him from his usual martini lunch."

 

[Mr. Adventure]

"I disagree, Commodore, that planet killer is a brick house and defeating it will not be easy as Sunday morning."

 

[Timewalker]

"Sir, I couldn't help but notice you do not have a thing in your ear. The crew are starting to talk."

Kirk: You mean this new uniform material won't rip when I have to get an inoculation or have a fist fight?

Norman: That's correct, Captain.

Kirk: Damn.