TOS Caption Contest #184: You Can Chekov, But You Can Never Leave

[cooleddie74]

Holding the World Cup of 2268 on Sigma Draconis turned out to be one VERY messy...and bad idea.

 

[Gary7]

Rand: "Captain, I'm so sorry I gave you that spoiled ham sandwich. But please, don't make me clean up that mess."

Chekov: "Your eyes, dey are getting hevvay. Dat's right. Let zem close. Yes. Now, vat ever you do, don't move..." (finally, I get some action on this show!)

Chekov: "Captain, dat's not how to do deh Russian jig. Deh legs havta move, sir. Follow Vladimir. You can't just stand there, looking like a fool."

 

[Nerys Myk]

KOENIG: Bill,should I go get the shorter stuntman?

 

[Gary7]

(What they really want)

 

[Gary7]

Koenig: "Gene, I've changed my mind. I just can't do it... 'The Deadly Years', part II."

 

[TeaKirk]

Chekov: I love you Martha
Landon: But I thought you were in love with that Irina girl
Chekov: ..... *Mouth hangs open as he is speechless*

 

[jep]

Kirk gets a hard, swift lesson in full contact wrestling... Sigma Draconis style.



.

 

[Tribble]

Superkirk! Even more awesome!

 

[Smellincoffee]

Turtle races: always a good way to liven up those long trips.

Chekov: Brandi, you are a fine girl. I think to myself, what a good wife you whood be. But my life, my love, and my lady, is the sea.
Landon: But Pavel, your ship is a spaceship.
Chekov: It is same.

Chekov was never the best at thinking on his feet, which is why it took the better part of four minutes for him to realize he should intervene.

 

[Gary7]

Chekov: "Does it bodder me? Vell, av course not. Aldough I'm just curious--you're certain you don't have some giraffe in your lineage?"

 

[Tribble]

(From off) We have replaced Chekov with a mannequin. Let's see if anyone notices!

 

[cooleddie74]

KIRK: Twenty credits says THAT cockroach beats the smaller one to the viewscreen!

RAND: You're on, sir!

CHEKOV: Kiss me.

Kiss me like you did ven de vorld was young...and I vas still vearing my first vig...

CHEKOV: Just say someting if you need any help, sir.



ANYTING.



Vaiting over here.

 

[cooleddie74]

KIRK: NO, JANICE...

Spock knocked himself out cold.

Don't help him. Just rifle through his pockets and see if he's got any cash on him.

Then call Dr. McCoy to the bridge.

 

[Nerys Myk]

DIRECTOR: And....ACTION!

KOENIG: Action? Wait. Were you talking to me or them?

DIRECTOR: Is it too late to get Davy Jones?

 

[cooleddie74]

MORG: Little man with creepy hair make Morg SCARED!!!

Must flee!!!

OUT OF MORG'S WAY!!!

 

[Tribble]

Chekov, thinking: Maybe, if I stand very still, he won't notice me...

 

[Maurice]

KIRK: I heard you were unbalanced, but this is ridiculous!

CHEKOV: Sorry, keptin, but that is not the vay to do the "Time Varp". It's just a jump to the left...

CHEKOV: ...but it's the pelwic thrust that really drives you insa-ay-ay-ane!
LANDON: That's what they all say.

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Spock: "Spock? Are you alright? What are you doing down there?"
Spock (whispering): "Shhh! And move back a bit, willya? I'm trying to get a peek up Uhura's skirt!"
Rand: "You're a pig."

 

[Isis]

Kirk: "Remember you have to be careful over here, Yeoman. We wouldn't want you to disappear from the Enterprise without a trace."

 

[M'Sharak]

"Greb a fencepost, hold eet tight,
Whomp your partner wit' all your might,
Hit heem in the chin, hit heem in the head,
Hit heem again, th-- "

"Chekov!"
"Sir?"
"Not. Helping!"

CHEKOV: Kiss me.

Kiss me like you did ven de vorld was young...and I vas still vearing my first vig...

LANDON: Pavel, your first wig looked like a small, mangy animal had crawled on top of
your head, curled up there and died. Creeped me out even being in the same room with it.