TOS Caption Contest #172: A Little Too Much LDS

[Rat Boy]

No need to stand around and keep scratching your head, because it's time for another caption contest. First, let's give an awkward pat on the back to...

For private discussions of a royal nature, our winner is...

Sulu: "Listen, Kevin, I know you're directly descended from Irish kings. I just want to remind you that every king needs his queen."

And for asking the questions that only he dares ask, our winner is...

Why the hell does my green leisure shirt point down at my crank?

And for creepily foreshadowing Star Trek V, our winner is...

Scotty: Can ye see ma nipples in this shirt?

Uhura: No

Scotty: Do ye want to?

And for elements of our past (or in this case future) best left forgotten, our Photoshop winner is...

"Just ignore it Bill, and maybe no one will notice..."


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Congratulations to our winners. This week, we take a walk on the trippy side. First, we have Nimoy and Nichols getting a sneak peek at the script for the next movie. Second, Kirk becomes a victim of yet another transporter accident when the back of his pants aren't beamed up. Third, as suggested by DS9Sega, we have Lord Garth, Master of the Universe, strutting his stuff. Finally, we have a bonus picture. Don't know where it's from, but it was too bizarre not to use. Have fun:

 

[Rat Boy]

Plomeek farts, the silent killer.

Shatner: "Guess where his bike is now?"

Kirk: "There isn't enough Saurian brandy in the quadrant to make me unsee that."

Kirk: "No, I don't plan on taking it near any gorges. Why do you ask?"

 

[6079SmithW]

Kirk: I've really outdone myself for birthday presents this time. Once Uncle Frank gets a load of this baby, he'll be sure to forgive me for wrecking his old 'Vette.

 

[cooleddie74]

Spock knew that if he waited long enough...Nyota would start choking on one of her damned annoying breath mints.

The old classic about the pervert crossing the road to get to the chicken NEVER got tiresome on the Enterprise.

KIRK: You can morph and shapeshift into anything you want...and you didn't give yourself TWO testicles?!

SPEED OVERACTER

Go Bill Shatner, Go Bill Shatner, Go Bill Shatner GOOOOO!

 

[cooleddie74]

Uhura was stunned SPEECHLESS.


She had never heard a Vulcan do a rendition of "Baby's Got Back."

 

[6079SmithW]

Hilarity ensued once McCoy revealed where he had hidden the gerbil.

 

[cooleddie74]

KIRK: You CAN'T be serious, Bones!!

She thought Yanni was good music?! That's just too much, man...

GARTH: BEHOLD.


The Tramp Stamp that once saved the Federation from complete disaster at Axanar.

SHATNER: Steve McQueen let me borrow this in return for getting to use a pair of Leonard's ear tips to play a prank.

 

[Rat Boy]

Every time a Vulcan smiles, God kills a tribble.

Kirk: "Note to the galley, laughing gas no longer to be served at diplomatic functions."

Kirk: "You do realize that the Master of the Universe has no clothes?"

Andorian: "Quiet! You trying to get us all killed?"

Shatner: "Thanks to its perlescent coat, those nerds won't be able to tell if its gold or avocado."

 

[cooleddie74]

SPOCK(thinking) If only she knew I was wearing pantyhose as well.

SCOTTY: AYE...

Sulu's gayer than a three-credit chit, ain't he? And those TROUSER FLARES he sports!!

KIRK: What's the deal with the brown skid marks?

SHATNER: The Desilu lot confiscated my Judge GTO.

This one's a loaner from Peter Graves.

 

[Deranged Nasat]

[

Garth: "I'm sorry, I couldn't sense you over the strength of how awesome I am".

Kirk: "You fool! A captain's awesome manifests as sound! Sound, not radiation!! You're getting the joke wrong!"

Andorian: "No, Kirk! Stay back! It isn't worth the risk of exposure!"

Kirk: "You beast! Have you no shame?!"
Tellarite: "You disgust me, sir"
Kirk: "Fur is murder, Garth! Fur is murder!"
Andorian (holding Kirk back): "No, Kirk, it isn't worth it!"

Garth: "Will somebody get these three out of here?"

 

[Deranged Nasat]

"I hope Spock's settling in on the Geriatric Tellarite Nudist Colony"

"I'm sure the "research seminar" will be quite enlightening!"

 

[Rat Boy]

Shatner: If I keep my arms crossed, they won't see the belly fat.

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Thanks for the win, Rat Boy!

Nichols (singing): "Beyond the rim of starlight; My love is wand'ring in star flight; I know he'll find in star-clustered reaches; Love, strange love a star-woman teaches..."
Nimoy: "Wait! Stop, stop...those lyrics...I'm sorry, I just can't keep a straight face!"

McCoy (winks at Scotty): "Jim, I wonder if you could help me out with a crossword puzzle problem I'm having. What's an eight-letter word that means 'to intentionally damage'?"
Kirk: "Sabotaage. What? That's the right answer, isn't it? What's so funny?"

Garth: "Pretty impressive, eh, Kirk? We call it 'The Royal Scepter'!"

Kirk: "You like it, Bones? Check out the bumper sticker in back! 'My Other Car Is A Fucking STARSHIP!'"

 

[Nerys Myk]

To everyones surprise Project Runway lasted till the 23rd Century.

 

[jep]

Kirk: (Giggle) "Lord Garth seems to have confused omnipotent with impotent."

Lord Garth: "SILENCE!!!"

Kirk: "Need to concentrate, huh? I understand."


.

 

[jep]

Spock: "Oh man, if she bends over just a little more, I'm gonna get to see some nipple."


.

 

[jep]

Q: "So Jean-Luc... have you... what the....l??? Who are you freaks? And where is Jean-Luc???"


.

 

[Captain Crow]

Fat Kirk: Oh, fuck! Not again.

Shatner: I don't get it. What's so funny about turning on a fan in my direction? And why is the top of my head suddenly cold?

 

[jep]

As it turns out, that high note was a bit too much of a strain for Uhura.


.

 

[Gil T.Azell]

KIRK: You can morph and shapeshift into anything you want...and you didn't give yourself TWO testicles?!

Marta: (Points & Laughs) "And he only gave him self a 2" Wee Wee"