TOS Caption Contest #171: Bridge to Nowhere

[John Picard]

Sulu: "I just love breaking in a new helmsman."

Riley: "*Ulp*"

 

[Maurice]

TAKEI: I hear I get a love interest in "This Side of Paradise"...
HYDE: I heard Fontana's rewriting it.
TAKEI: Oh no...now it's gonna be a Spock-wank.
HYDE: Yup.

KIRK: Hmmm... what was the Prime Directive about, again?

SCOTTY: Can you hear me now?
UHURA: Nope.

 

[jep]

Captain Kirk suffered the most extreme side effects from the water of Psi 2000.


.

 

[M'Sharak]

"Hey, Kevin... "
"Hm?"
"Want a Walnetto?"

 

[Spencey]

Riley: Can you do any impressions, Sulu?
Sulu: Heeeeeere's Johnny!
Riley: Don't give up your day job.

 

[Rat Boy]

Kirk: "Wait, how come I wasn't informed there was a dead body on the bridge?"

Spock (off camera): "Apologies, Captain, but Dr. McCoy is on vacation and thus is not around to tell you he's dead, Jim."

 

[Rat Boy]

Cast and crew off camera: "HAPPY BIRTHDAY, GEORGE!"

Takei: "Ah, you shouldn't have. I can't wait to take him home."

Hyde: "Wait, what?"

 

[cooleddie74]

SULU: HA!!!

I just got you, Riley!

I just Stink-Palmed you!!

RILEY: Dude...you're not supposed to tell me!

KIRK(thinking)

Did I leave the toupee press on?

SCOTTY: Did the Captain tell anyone why he's walking around nude and singing?

UHURA: Something about "the best meth he's ever had" and "the voices in his head demanded to hear some Bob Dylan."

 

[cooleddie74]

RILEY: What's your plan for the prank?

SULU: We sneak down to Spock's quarters...override his door lock...break in...and film a gay porno on his bed.

RILEY: How's THAT supposed to prove or help anything?

SULU: It can't hurt!

 

[John Picard]

Kirk: {groggy} "Where am I? I can't think straight and....and...my ass HURTS."

[Meanwhile]

Sulu: "You'll never guess what I just did with some Andorian Propofol and some KY."

 

[cooleddie74]

SHATNER: Hey...Gene?

Leonard left one of his rubber ear tips on the floor over here.

RODDENBERRY: That's NOT a false ear tip, Bill.

SHATNER(brief pause)


Yuck.

SULU: Hey...don't knock it 'til you've tried it!

After all, only one out of FOUR men pass out the first time it's inserted and turned on! Your odds are still pretty good!

 

[Rat Boy]

Sulu: "If you're looking for someone to take home again, I'm your Cathleen."

Riley: *gulp*

 

[Nerys Myk]

KIRK: Diet must be working, those are my feet!

 

[jep]

"Just ignore it Bill, and maybe no one will notice..."


.

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

KIRK: "Hello? Hello! Yes. I'M ON THE STARSHIP! Yes... THE STARSHIP! Hold on... crap... WE'RE GOING INTO A WORMHOLE... A WORMHOLE!... Bastard cut out on me..."

 

[Rat Boy]

Kirk: "All right everyone, if we're going to win this contest, we've got to come up with the best possible name for the next starship that we can possibly think of."

Sulu (off camera): "Excelsior!"

Kirk: "What a dumbass name. Really, Sulu? No idiot in their right mind would ever want to captain a ship named "Excelsior."

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Kirk: (singing) I'm gonna wash that Gorn right outta my hair...

 

[cooleddie74]

KIRK: Hold on, Spock.

Something...something's wrong.

My Rogaine Senses are tingling...

 

[cooleddie74]

RILEY: Seriously, man.

Eating two containers of Kung Pow chicken before coming on duty isn't the best way to look calm, dry and innocent.

 

[Maurice]

TAKEI: I retyped the script and gave half Bill's lines to Leonard. Now sit back and watch the fur fly!