TOS Caption Contest #157: No Time To Say Hello, Goodbye ...

Discussion in 'Star Trek - The Original & Animated Series' started by Shatmandu, Dec 29, 2009.

  1. Shatmandu

    Shatmandu Vice Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Feb 22, 2006
    Hiya, folks.

    Finally getting back into a groove from the holiday. Lots of family, and the aggravating ones couldn't make it.

    Your captions that made me spill my stockings were:








    Very nicely done, all.

    This week's shots are a mixed bag:

    [​IMG]


    [​IMG]


    And the oddball is:

    [​IMG]

    I think we'll probably need a "dick in the door" joke running tally.

    Joe, tally-runner
     
  2. Shatmandu

    Shatmandu Vice Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Feb 22, 2006
    [​IMG]

    Khan: "It would also ... help my recovery ... if I could be given a bladed weapon ... or perhaps a bazooka."
    Kirk: "I'll have six of each sent right up, harmless stranger I know nothing about."



    [​IMG]

    Kirk: "Could you guys shut up? I'm trying to figure out what these dots are ..."



    [​IMG]

    Uhura: "It's the non-asshole-detectors, sir."
     
  3. Gertch

    Gertch Admiral

    Joined:
    Jan 4, 2004
    [​IMG]


    Kirk: "I'm sorry but I have to move this between your superior chest and the cameras."







    [​IMG]
    "Someone freeze the turbo lift QUICKLY."
     
  4. marylizz

    marylizz Lieutenant Commander Red Shirt

    Joined:
    May 24, 2009
    Location:
    Sickbay
    [​IMG]

    Khan: Could I get a different room? The unicorn in the room behind me keeps staring at me from that hole in the wall.
     
  5. Ryan Thomas Riddle

    Ryan Thomas Riddle Vice Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Dec 26, 2003
    Location:
    The Bay Area
    [​IMG]

    Khan: You have misspelled my name on the medical forms. It's K-H-A-N not K-A-H-N.


    [​IMG]

    Sulu: Pavel, the stars are blinking in and out of order.
    Chekov: I told you not to get those pills from Scotty.


    [​IMG]

    Kirk: Whelp, looks like I'll have to change my Adult Friend Finder from uncut to cut.
     
  6. M'Sharak

    M'Sharak Definitely Herbert. Maybe. Moderator

    Joined:
    Aug 22, 2002
    Location:
    Terra Inlandia
    [​IMG]

    Kirk: All right, Khan - now, look at the monitor. This right here
    (tapping monitor for emphasis) says the chest is phony --
    totally
    unbelievable and plastic-looking!


    [​IMG]

    Chekov: (defensively) Vhat?
    Kirk: Mr. Sulu?
    Sulu: Pavel's already nabbed Mister Spock's earpiece. It's kind of cute.
    Chekov: But I am ecting Science Officer!
    Sulu: Of course you are. (snickers)
     
    Last edited: Dec 29, 2009
  7. Jonas Grumby

    Jonas Grumby Vice Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
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    Somewhere in the South Pacific
    Thanks for the win, Joe! :)

    [​IMG]

    Khan (taking a standard Ink Blot Test): "Ugh! Another disgusting sexual image! What is wrong with you people?"


    [​IMG]

    Kirk: "You know, at least indirectly, this is all Helen Noel's fault!"
     
  8. Snowy Road

    Snowy Road Crimbo crossing Premium Member

    Joined:
    Nov 4, 2001
    Location:
    Nerys Myk
    [​IMG]

    KHAN: Much better. Now fluff my pillows and get me a glass of water.

    [​IMG]

    SULU: He still can't see the sailboat.

    [​IMG]

    MCCOY: Get the spray bottle Spock. He's at it again.
     
  9. A beaker full of death

    A beaker full of death Vice Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Mar 23, 2002
    [​IMG]


    Archer: This is... *

    Sulu: Did you hear anything?
    Chekov: Nyet. Not a ting.
    Kirk: Them's my boys.
     
  10. scottydog

    scottydog Admiral Admiral

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    scottydog
  11. Snowy Road

    Snowy Road Crimbo crossing Premium Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Nerys Myk
    UHURA: I'm picking up a transmission...

    KIRK: Put it on audio.

    ARCHER: Report Mr. Reed?

    REED: Hull plating at 100 %. Best I can figure its some sort of welcoming pyrotechnic display.
     
  12. scottydog

    scottydog Admiral Admiral

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    Location:
    scottydog
    [​IMG]

    Kirk: "Magnification 3, Mr. Sulu."

    Sulu: "Better make it magnification 100, sir."
     
  13. Snowy Road

    Snowy Road Crimbo crossing Premium Member

    Joined:
    Nov 4, 2001
    Location:
    Nerys Myk
    [​IMG]

    KIRKS: It's like we're looking in a mirror.
     
  14. scottydog

    scottydog Admiral Admiral

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    scottydog
  15. The Laughing Vulcan

    The Laughing Vulcan Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Jun 7, 2004
    Location:
    At The Laughing Vulcan's party...
    [​IMG]

    Khan: "When I awoke, there was a young man with a bad haircut, suckling from me as if I were his mother..."
    Kirk: "Chekov..."


    [​IMG]

    Kirk: "That's it, five years is enough of this. Everytime you two glance at each other, I get a face full of homoerotic subtext. Now cut it out, or go on separate shifts."

    Uhura os: "Try looking at the back of an egotistical asshole for five years."




    [​IMG]

    Kirk: "Janice, I'm sorry... I was wrong, you don't have fat calves... Janice? Listen, honey. We're in the middle of a situation here. I need to get to the transporter room...

    ... Spock take a note. Either transfer the neurotic bitch off this ship, or get another turbolift installed on the bridge...

    Janice honey, can we talk about this?"
     
  16. Gertch

    Gertch Admiral

    Joined:
    Jan 4, 2004
    [​IMG]

    "Ahhhh, a Star Trek movie collection. I hear those ending in 2 are the best, Captain."
     
  17. Hambone

    Hambone Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

    Joined:
    Mar 25, 2006
    Location:
    Land of cheese, sausage and beer
    [​IMG]

    KIRK: It's called a "microwave oven". These were unheard of back in your time. It can cook a bean burrito almost instantly...only 8 or 9 minutes.

    KHAN: Your technological advances are most impressive, Captain...but I am most disappointed in how little improvement there has been in burritos themselves.


    [​IMG]

    KIRK: I don't know what the fuss is about. I think this "non-remastered" viewscreen works just fine.



    [​IMG]

    Kirk re-thinks his earlier hesitance about installing a glory-hole on the bridge.
     
  18. captain crow

    captain crow Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

    Joined:
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    Location:
    sliver dog bone shaped satellite in Earth orbit
    Thanks for a win Shatmandu.


    [​IMG]
    Kirk, knocking on door: Can you hurry up with your masturbating in there Spock! I gotta use the can!


    [​IMG]
    Worst fan made episode of Mystery Science Theater 3000 ever.
     
  19. Shatmandu

    Shatmandu Vice Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Feb 22, 2006
    [​IMG]

    Khan: "The Golden Girls Season Four DVD set back in the library yet?"
    Kirk: "Negative."
    Khan: "Bring me this overdue card holder of yours ... this Chekov ..."



    [​IMG]

    Sulu: "Burger King sucks."
    Chekov: "I vill not eat Chinese again."
    Sulu: "That's not even funny. I'm Japanese."
    Chekov: "I vas not ..."
    Kirk: "ENOUGH! We're getting a pizza and that's FINAL!"




    [​IMG]

    Being drunk and urinating into the turbolift can be dangerous.
     
  20. Rat Boy

    Rat Boy Vice Admiral Admiral

    [​IMG]

    Khan: "The boy who changed out my bedpan claimed he shook my penis to make sure the end was dry."

    Kirk: "Chekov."

    [​IMG]

    The parking brake crack was bad enough, but when Kirk told him to speed up in the fast lane, Sulu was convinced the crew of the Enterprise hated Asian drivers.

    [​IMG]

    Kirk (in a high pitched voice): "Uhura, listen to me very carefully. Do not let that turbolift go anywhere."