TOS Caption Contest #133 - Alternate Universe

[Gary7]

Chekov: "Ah... now dis is more like it!"

 

[Rat Boy]

Chekov: "You don't vant to know vhat I had to do to get dis job."

 

[Nerys Myk]

Davy: I'm never gonna be a Captain. The extra weight would look horrible on me.

 

[battrekker]

Captain Checkov: "Ensign Jones, to the barber right now. Nobody can have better hair than me! Don't you know that mop hair was invented in Russia?"

 

[Shatmandu]

Captain Checkov: "Silly Americans: dis ship was designed in Russia and built in England, right Ensign Davy?"
Jones: "Si, Captain."
<One nacelle breaks off and embeds itself in saucer section.>

 

[cooleddie74]

First Contact with the denizens of the Moptop Quasar went splendidly. And they also achieved ground with the Miniskirt Alliance as well.

 

[battrekker]

McCoy: "Gary, even though you're the captain, I'm the chief medical officer in this ship, and you still have to do your naked jumping jacks."

*God power sound*

Uncontrollable Diarrhea McCoy: "Not again..."

 

[Triskelion]

Uncontrollable Diarrhea McCoy: "False alarm".
Scotty: "Oh yeah? Check yer boots."

 

[cooleddie74]

GARY:"Medical status?"

McCOY:"Two dead. Nine wounded. And three others have silver eyes and have been levitating colostomy bags and catheters all over sickbay for the past three hours.

SIR."

GEEZER BONES:"Good news, everyone!

I just checked the ship's historical databank!

Trip's not dead!"

 

[Nerys Myk]

McCoy: "Gary, even though you're the captain, I'm the chief medical officer in this ship, and you still have to do your naked jumping jacks."

*God power sound*

Sorry Gary

But nude

jumping jacks

are a

constant in

Starfleet for

all eras

and realities

 

[Rat Boy]

McCoy: "Gary, even though you're the captain, I'm the chief medical officer in this ship, and you still have to do your naked jumping jacks."

*God power sound*

Sorry Gary

But nude

jumping jacks

are a

constant in

Starfleet for

all eras

and realities

Scotty: "Will ye pick a bloody channel, for crying out loud."

 

[Outpost4]

Pike: ...and with the weirdness of this crew, you will occasionally be forgotten.

 

[Rat Boy]

Kirk: "We really ought to have that floor board nailed down."

 

[Nerys Myk]

KIRK: Hiding Geordie's visor was not cool Mr Jones.

 

[Outpost4]

To boost ratings, Roddenberry not only wanted a character that looked like a Monkee but incorporated their physical comedy, too.

 

[Shaw]

If you have to replace the good doctor... replace him with a good doctor!

Mitchell: I need to learn how to sing Noel by this Christmas.​

 

[Rat Boy]

McCoy: "Gary, even though you're the captain, I'm the chief medical officer in this ship, and you still have to do your naked jumping jacks."

*God power sound*

Mitchell: "All right, now I'll do them."

Uncontrollable Libido Noel: "Your place or mine?"

 

[Nerys Myk]

JONES: Here we come
Warping across space
We cause the funniest looks
on everbodies face

Hey Hey we're the Trekkers
And people say we're Trekin' around
We're too busy singing
To beam anybody down...

KIRK: That will be enough of that Jones! Its bad enough when Uhura does it!

UHURA: SAY WHAT!!!!???

 

[Civil Shadow]

McCoy: This is why genetic engineering was outlawed - eventually, some idiot crosses a human being with Hypnotoad.

*god power noises*

Scotty: All glory to the Hypnotoad.




(I can't be the only one hearing the Hypnotoad whenever 'god power noises' shows up, can I?)

 

[battrekker]

JONES: Here we come
Warping across space
We cause the funniest looks
on everbodies face

Hey Hey we're the Trekkers
And people say we're Trekin' around
We're too busy singing
To beam anybody down...

KIRK: That will be enough of that Jones! Its bad enough when Uhura does it!

UHURA: SAY WHAT!!!!???

Ensign Jones: Sir, would it help if I use fans next time?

Uhura: Say What?