TOS Caption Contest #133 - Alternate Universe

[Rat Boy]

Mitchell: "You, this reminds me of the time I tried steering that little blond lab tech Jim's way, and..."

*God power sound*

Mitchell: "Aw, dammit, I was trying to picture the blond!"

 

[Zachary Smith]

Davy: Screw Nesmith and his stupid "Whiteout" fortune. Wait'll Mickey and Pete see THIS!

Mitchell (thinking) Bowling with Apollo tonight, tennis with Charlie X in the morning, golf with Trelane on Friday--damn! I need to put some more days in the week . . .

Kirk: She really is a fine ship, Captain. But every once in a while when I look out the window I see this strange . . . creature . . . CRAWLING on the port nacelle . . . Ah . . . Never mind. You'd never believe me.

 

[Zachary Smith]

Mitchell: "Favorite letter of the alphabet?" Again, with this nonsense, Doctor?

McCoy: Please, just indulge me . . .

Mitchell: My favorite letter of the alphabet hasn't changed, Dr. McCoy. It's STILL the letter "Q". Now, what exactly are you getting at?

Scotty (thinking): Aye . . . What IS it Dr. McCoy's getting at . . . ? And why is Mitchell so fixated on the letter "Q"? Tis a riddle, for certain . . .

McCoy: Now, Mr. Mitchell--

Mitchell: That'll be ENOUGH, Dr. McCoy. I'm sure you're needed in sickbay. GREETINGS and Felicitations. Now, tally HO!

 

[Zachary Smith]

Kirk: Lt. Uhura--what IS this on my viewscreen. It's TERRIBLE. What IS The Brady Bunch? Who ARE these people?

Davy (thinking): marcia! Marcia!! MARCIA!!!

 

[Shatmandu]

Mitchell: "Oh, everyone know that whole 'not if our balls don't touch' thing is a bunch of shit."
<McCoy crosses arms tighter. Scotty "harumphs" twice and turns away.>

 

[Zachary Smith]

Kirk: "Kirk". "Pike". "Spock". "Decker". "McCoy". Either someone has a surplus of "hard "k" sounds or I'm sensing a THEME here, Captain . . .

 

[cooleddie74]

MITCHELL:"Stop staring.

I know the zit's huge, dammit."

 

[cooleddie74]

PIKE:"What's that smell, Jim?"

KIRK:"Last night's date."

 

[Shatmandu]

Uhura, on shipwide intercom: "It is Wednesday. We are now three days past Outpost4's initial contest change date."
Kirk: "Aw, fuck. I had Tuesday afternoon in the pool."
Davy: "I 'ave next Sunday."

 

[Rat Boy]

*God power sound*

Mitchell: "There, that ought to keep the contest going a little longer."

 

[Gary7]

Mitchell: "Are we not men?"

McCoy & Scotty: "WE ARE DEVO!"

 

[Nerys Myk]

MCCOY: Dammit Gary, there's a reason Starfleet banned hats 13 years ago!!!!

 

[Shatmandu]

McCoy: "Wait until you get to the caption contest character waiting room, pretty-boy."
<Mitchell turns.>
McCoy: "Grignak likes fresh meat."
Scotty: "Aye. And Balok Puppet's been waiting for months."
McCoy, cooing: "Carl's gonna turn you out, sissy."
<Scotty wolf whistles.>

 

[cooleddie74]

KIRK:"Plot an intercept course for that alien ship.

And this time...DON'T shake the damn tambourine after you lay in the coordinates?"

 

[cooleddie74]

MITCHELL:"This damn contest over anytime soon? I gotta meet Bowman down in the cargo bay.

Don't ask."

 

[Shatmandu]

Mitchell: "So if the contest doesn't end, I'll not have to go to the waiting room?"
McCoy: "Yeppers."
*God Sound*
Mitchell: "There. I just turned Outpost4 into a turnip. We're never leaving."
Scotty: "Ah, shite. At least get rid'a the fookin' Monkee ..."

 

[cooleddie74]

"Shall I change course for the planet ghostwritten by Neil Diamond, sir?"

 

[Mistral]

Kirk: "Well, Davey, we should be dropping you off anytime now."

Davey: "You didn't hear, sir? Shatmandu turned Outpost4 into a turnip. I'm going to be here a looooooong time..."

 

[Gary7]

Mitchell: "Just what do you think you're doing... Dave?"

 

[Nerys Myk]

Mitchell: "Just what do you think you're doing... Dave?"

Dave: "Something wonderful."