TOS Caption Contest #133 - Alternate Universe

[Rat Boy]

McCoy: Mitchell if you don't vacate the captains chair immediately you're going to force me to do my armpit fart routine....and you don't want that!

*God power sound*

Uncontrollable Diarrhea McCoy: "Not again."

 

[Gary7]

Scotty: "Dr. McCoy, what'd ye have te go do that for! Ye pissed 'im off and now look at us. I hope I still have me Depends from th' last time."

 

[Rat Boy]

Mitchell: "Great. I finally get a command and it's populated by Andy Rooney clones."

 

[Rat Boy]

Mitchell: "Are you people going to complain about your incontinence all day?"

Uncontrollable Diarrhea McCoy: "Yes."

 

[Shatmandu]

McCoy: "I'd rather have a 'walking stack of books' than a 'walking stack of shit' any day, 'Captain.'"

McCoy: "Who are you and what have you done with the fat guy?"

 

[Nerys Myk]

KELLEY: Get over it. Bill has.

LOCKWOOD: Yeh, but at least his character is in the new movie!!!!!

 

[Nerys Myk]

Scotty: "Dr. McCoy, what'd ye have te go do that for! Ye pissed 'im off and now look at us. I hope I still have me Depends from th' last time."

McCoy: What else could he do?

*God power sound*

Scotty: Ye had tae ask!

 

[26138]

Scotty: "Dr. McCoy, what'd ye have te go do that for! Ye pissed 'im off and now look at us. I hope I still have me Depends from th' last time."

McCoy: What else could he do?

*God power sound*

Scotty: Ye had tae ask!

Scotty: If you make any "There be whales here" jokes, I'll knock you on your arse!

 

[Rat Boy]

Scotty: "Dr. McCoy, what'd ye have te go do that for! Ye pissed 'im off and now look at us. I hope I still have me Depends from th' last time."

McCoy: What else could he do?

*God power sound*

Scotty: Ye had tae ask!

Scotty: If you make any "There be whales here" jokes, I'll knock you on your arse!

Mitchell: "The real god power is figuring out how to undo all this."

 

[highlander]

Gary was hoping that if he sat really still no one would notice he sharted himself.

 

[highlander]

Kirk: "My God Ensign Jones your not...one of them....are you?"
Jones: "You mean a Monkee?"
Kirk: "No....British."

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

"... Beckett stepped into the Quantum Leap Accelerator and..."
*God power sound*
"...I ain't getting on no plane, Hannibal!"
*God power sound*
"Denny Crane! Denny Crane!"
*God power sound*
"... I'm here to fix your fax machine..." boom chika wow...
*God power sound*
"... Fifteen people were stunned when the phaser pre-fired. In other news..."
*God power sound*
"I tawt I taw a puddy tat... I d..."
*God power sound*
"Open the pod bay doors Hal."
*God power sound*
"We were on a break!"
*God power sound*
"I saved money by switching my starship insurance..."
*God power sound*

McCoy: "Jesus Gary, will you pick a channel and stick with it?"

*God power sound*

Uncontrollable Diarrhea McCoy: "Aw, crap."

 

[cooleddie74]

GARY:"If we get any new crewmen named Dave or Bowman?

Tell 'em they have a contagious space infection and kick them off the ship, Doc."

 

[cooleddie74]

GARY:"Sorry about losing my temper earlier, gentlemen.

I, uh...don't know the strength of my own mutated, godlike powers some days."

McCOY:"TELL THAT to my colostomy bag, Gary!!"

SCOTTY:"What?

WHO?

Who's talking?"

 

[Nerys Myk]

McCOY: According to Scotty, the computer says the AE-35 unit needs repair and you're the best man for the job.

GARY: Why don't I like the sound of that?

 

[cooleddie74]

McCOY:"What do I do with the ape down in sickbay, Gary? He's throwing a damn bone from my specimen shelf all over the place and smashin' things!"

SCOTTY:"Aye! And the bloody rectangular object that just appeared outta nowhere in engineerin' is interferin' with the ship's warp fields!!"

 

[Gary7]

Marlon Chekov: "Navigator, wipe that doofus smile off your face, you hear me? Nobody laughs at the captain. Nobody."

 

[cooleddie74]

CHEKOV:"Cossack SCAB.


De union's going to hear about TIS."

 

[Gary7]

Chekov: "My plan is almost complete. I've assassinated Kirk, took his place, and found a patsy to take over navigation. Wait... Wait a second. I thought this was the 'Mirror Universe'! Oh, no..."

 

[cooleddie74]

The infamous "stunt episode" of October, 1968 failed on numerous levels. Not the least of which was the unbelievability of a Russian in command. And a Cockney with good teeth.