TOS Caption Contest #133 - Alternate Universe
- Thread starter Outpost4
- Start date
Pike: "Have you always had that hole in the side of your head?"
McCoy: "Scotty, I was skeptical at first but I have to admit-this inflatable emergency captain seems to be working out just fine!"
Mitchell: "Hey, it could have been worse. You all could have been replaced by Star Wars and Galaxy Quest characters."
McCoy: "Still, this is getting a little out of hand. I'm getting sick and tired of all this crap. Worse yet, you're really starting to piss me off, Mitchell. Always with the slapping the yeomen on the asses. I have the mind to report you to..."
*God power sound*
Uncontrollable Diarrhea McCoy: "Ah, crap."
KIRK:"You tell the Dave Clark Five they're not getting OUR navigator!! Code that...and transmit, Uhura!"
McCOY:"The computer in the engineering room wants to talk to you, sir. Scotty says its something about having read your lips."
PIKE:"She's a fine ship with a magnificent crew, Jim.
Don't screw her up."
KIRK:"No promises. I'll hump anything."
And the worst part was that all of the navigational directions had been programmed by OTHER, more skilled officers.
*God power sound*
Mitchell: "All right, that takes care of the lizard guy. What's next?"
*God power sound*
Mitchell: "I just took that big hand off our hull and stuck it up ol' Apollo's ass. Tell Palamas to meet me in sick bay; she's gonna need it."
*God power sound*
Mitchell: "I got your brain back, Spock. That would have sucked, huh?"
*God power sound*
<Scotty brings bloody hand to front, shouts, collapses.>
Mitchell: "Not nice to flip a guy off behind your back, Engineer."
"Cheer up, Sleepy Jim."
MITCHELL:"Keep staring at me, and I'll have pipes strangle you from behind."
(*GOD POWER VOICE*)
"Hand over all your pizzas, sodas and crazy bread AT ONCE. Or I will smite your delivery shuttle from existence!!"
KIRK:"Great.
The ship just lost Crewman Tork. And Lieutenant Nesmith is refusing to sign up for another tour of duty. Looks like we're gonna have to make the most of what we have left!"
PIKE:"Take good care of her, Jim. She's the best ship in the entire fleet."
KIRK:"And best of health and luck to you, Chri...
OH. Ouch.
Yeahhhhh....RIGHT.
Uh...good luck with all THAT."
Kirk: "So let me get this straight Ensign. You say Sulu was a Day Dream Believer?"
Ensign DJ: "Yes sir. And the Homecoming Queen."
Kirk: "Well, that explains a lot."
McCoy: "Are you just going to stare at the view screen, or are you going to order the damn pizza. We're gettin pretty hungry."
Kirk: "So you're saying I'm to take her for a five year mission, to explore strange new worlds, to seek out new life and new civilizations, to boldly go where no man has gone before."
Pike: "That pretty much sums it up."
Kirk: "Sounds like some sort of star trek or something."
Pike: "Couldn't help yourself....just had to go there, didn't ya."
KIRK:"Status, Mister Jones?"
DAVY:"I wanna be free...a daydream believer...
to take the last train to Clarksville after walkin' down the street!"
KIRK:"Damn moptop brats. Chief DiFalco...report to the bridge!"
McCOY:"Are you QUITE through sending half our crew into endless limbo now? We have business to talk about."
KIRK:"But...your X.O. said my chair had a cup holder.
We have a problem."
