TOS Caption Contest #125 - 5 Day Work Week

[Outpost4]

250 entries in the caption contest in 8 days! That's doing your job, folks. Keep it up. This next one I promise will be a shorter contest. I'll change it out next Monday.

Last week, first time winner Toban Kal worked with the always funny DrBob to tag team a caption. Shatmandu and middyseafort kept on the winning side with our other two main pics. Finally, a photoshop by Nerys Myk was best captioned by another first time winner, S'kai. You know how I like seeing raw meat...err, talent in the winner's circle. Welcome to the Genital Herpes Forum, guys.

Flipping the bird to Kirk in 3..2..1

Chekov: "Vat a jerk!"

Space Hooker: Don't bother, Doctor. From what I've heard, your scalpel isn't long enough.

Spock, staccato: "Tan-Ru. Nomad. Klattu. R2. Twiki."

Chekov: I vas never that young. At least not yet.

This next week we have Sulu In Charge, a picture that popped up in the great Re-Used Props thread going on right now (Shatmandu may have used this pic but it's been a while), plus one I know I shouldn't use but I am going to anyway. Our bonus pic is a publicity photo of Commander Hanson, the doomed sentry for Outpost 4. I naturally have an affinity for this guy and this picture. That may end over the next few days. For you collectors, if you want a higher resolution version of this photo, it's here.

All I ask is be gentle.



TOS Caption Contest Pantheon of Winners

26138
A beaker full of death (4x)
Adam Ihle (4x)
AlphaTrionTJW
Alrik
Alyssa (3x)
ancient
Atavachron (2x)
Bad Atom (2x)
Battrekker
brian
cakes516
CaptainJon
Captain Kate (2x)
Classic Fan
commodore64
cooleddie74 (20x)

cultcross
DeafPoet
Defcon (2x)
Diesel Micky Dolenz (11x)
Dohlman
DrBob (8x)

Plus one this time for a total of 9!
DS9Sega (7x)
EliyahuQeoni (3x)
EnsignHarper
FishDS9
galleywest (4x)
Gertch (22x)

goldbug (2x)
Guartho
Haggis and Tatties
Hambone (2x)
highlander (9x)
Jackson_Roykirk
J. Allen (2x)
jayrath
Johnnyracefan
John_Picard (3x)
jptrekker
Kahloke
Kegek (2x)
Kirby
KJM
Mallory (4x)
MGagen
middyseafort (4x)

Plus one this time for a total of 5!
Mojochi
M'Sharak (12x)
NCC-1701 (6x)
Nebusj
Nerys Myk (24x)

Plus one this time for a total of 25!
Noname Given (2x)
NTRPRZ
Outpost4 (16x)

Quo Vadimus
Rat Boy (34x)

Redfern
SciFi75 (5x)
scottydog (18x)

Sector 7
Shatmandu (22x)

Plus one this time for a total of 23!
shivkala
Sir Rhosis (2x)
S'Kai

First Time Winner!
Super Grover
T'Bonz (8x)
terranova
Tharpdevenport (3x)
the 4th hanson bro (3x)
The Castellan
The Cutest of Borg (2x)
The Laughing Vulcan (15x)
The Old Mixer
The Squire of Gothos (10x)
The Tone (2x)
TigerOfDarkness (2x)
Tim M (3x)
Toban Kal

First Time Winner!
Triskelion (11x)
Tristan
Turbo (2x)
vassa
Ward Fowler (4x)
Woulfe (4x)

Mudd Club

 

[Outpost4]

Uhura: I don't think these kids can steer.

Kirk: We must defeat Jamie and Adam if we are to escape this mirror universe!

Hanson: Whoo-boy! That first dump of the day! Watch out!

 

[John Picard]

Handon: "Is that all you got -- you PUSSY!"

 

[Outpost4]

Driver's Ed in the 23rd century.

"Today is a good day to get a manicure."

 

[Diesel Micky Dolenz]

Mr. Sulu knew he was in for a rough shift when he noticed that there weren't even people from the right departments available to man the ship.

Kirk: "I understand your desire to start your own tie-dyed shirt operation, doctor, but damn it the mission comes first!"

McCoy: "Now, Jim, don't be a prig."

Living proof that whoever said "what happens on Risa, stays on Risa," was lying.

 

[scottydog]

Sulu, thinking: "The butt-cheek depressions in this cushion are enormous...."

Kirk: "... and so to shake hands, you hold your hand out like this?"

McCoy: "Jim, just how many quarts of paint did you drink?"

"How do you like my Martok-makeover?"

 

[jgdst]

Uhura: You know, I'd love to do a naked fan dance one day...
Kirk: ...
Scotty: What did she just say?!

OVER TWENTY YEARS LATER

...repeat: Th... naked fan danc.... crew.... dead.... SAV... ELVES!

Sulu: Save elves? What? Oh... OH MY GOD. NAKED FAN DANCE! SHIELDS! SHIIIEEEELLLLDS!

 

[Shatmandu]

Hey, a win! Cool.

Sulu, panicking: "Oh, Jeez. We're dead. What would Kirk do?"
Mr. Aryan: "He'd answer Starbase Eleven's hail, spaz."

Kirk: "How was I to know Crystal Meth had different properties in this universe?"

Shatmandu: "When the caption contest wasn't changed on Monday, perhaps immololating myself was an overreaction."

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Uhura: "Every time we watch The Great Escape on the bridge viewscreen, everyone thinks that this time Steve McQueen will make the jump."

Kirk: "Ok, here's the plan, Scotty, you go down to engineering and transfer power to the transporter room. We all have sex with Uhura. Bones, you be in sickbay finding out our bioquantum signature so we beam back to the right universe. We all have sex with Uhura. I'll be busy being evil Jim Kirk, barbarian of the galaxy so no one gets suspicious. We all have sex with Uhura. Uhura, you work the communications board on the bridge. Monitor internal communications, if they get on to us, throw a spanner in the works. When you have a break, come down and have sex with us. Got it people?"

McCoy: "Got it Jim."

Scotty: "Aye sair."

Uhura: "Yes Captain... Wait a sec!"

Kirk: "Dismissed."

Hansen: "Fucking Roadrunner!"

 

[scottydog]

Sulu: "Heavens to Murgatroid!"

Murgatroid: "Murgatroid here, sir."

Kirk: "I don't care if it takes every man we've got, I want them off the ship."

McCoy: "The tribbles?"

Kirk: "No. Whoever spilled this paint."

scottydog: "When Obama's stimuls package wasn't immediately approved, perhaps immololating myself was an overreaction."

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Hollywood, 1981...

"From hell's heart I stab at thee, for hate's sake, I spit my last breath at thee."

Meyer: "Ok buddy, thanks a lot. We'll get back to you... Will someone please try Montalban's agent again."

 

[Rat Boy]

While Kirk and Spock were on the landing party, Sulu and the gang dug into their porn stash.

McCoy: "That stain...I spilled acid there last year."

Kirk: "I remember that acid. For a moment there I was convinced I could fly. What a bummer."

McCoy: "No shit."

Commander Harvey Hansen: "It's not about what I want, it's about what's fair! You thought we could be decent men, in an indecent time! But you were wrong. The world is cruel. And the only morality in a cruel world…is chance. Unbiased, unprejudiced…fair."

 

[Gertch]

"It.was.soap - poisoning."

 

[Cakes488]

"I wish I would of used that damn sunblock"!!!

 

[Cakes488]

" Captain....Kirk, come...in...Captain Kirk...I've... made.... a ...fatal error...that package for you was a Pipe Bomb...not a Pipe Bong."

 

[Cakes488]

For some reason everyone looked stunned when Kirk said:

Kirk: "now you get this straight mister, me and only me will be doing Uhura in exchange for this denebian coke pile"

 

[Cakes488]

Kirks apprehensions boiled to the surface when he actually saw the instuments used for the ancient "art" of colonics.

 

[Piper]

Every night when he goes to sleep, George Takei dreams that he was the star of the show.

McCoy: Jim, there's no one there.
Kirk: No there is, he's just invisible. He's Ambassador Invisible, from Invisiblia IV. Welcome to the Enterprise, Ambassador.
Scotty: Doctor, shall I call Mr Spock?
McCoy (gravely): Yes, Mr Scott. It would be for the best.

He went full throttle for the part at the Trainspotting auditions.

 

[Cakes488]

It was a sad scene on the bridge when Sulu refused to reliquish command.
Uhura quickly placed a call to security advising them that he's gripping the Captains chair with all his might to retain control of the Enterprise; he was not going to go down without a fight.

 

[Rat Boy]

The result of a later run-in between Terminator: Salvation's Director of Photography and Christian Bale.