TOS Caption Contest #123 - Bend Over

[milo bloom]

McCoy: "Jim, although it was kind of rotten of you to tell Rand that Spock's iPod was in your pants, the fact that she's still looking ten minutes later is her own fault."

Spock: "If you've taken my iPod, you're going to be chief bottle washer on this ship before I get through with you."

Scott: "I've found it Mr. Spock, I told ye these new ones are so small you've got to be careful where you put them down.....

...

...

you're going to share the porn on there right?"

 

[cooleddie74]

McCOY:"I sure as hell hope that's ranch dressing from your salad that just hit my boot, Jim."

STILES:"Permission to drop a deuce, sir?

The enema Dr. McCoy gave me is starting to kick in."

SCOTTY:"Borgas frat.

Like my grandmother used to always say...ye can never get a bloody computer to take its vitamins."

 

[Rat Boy]

Gorn: "Fresh ground pepper?"

 

[Gertch]

Spock: " I will help you kill Chekov, Mr Stiles, for licking the controls at the end of his shifts. He just did it after relieving me at the science station."

 

[Maurice]

BONES: So, Rand says she's going to have a baby.
KIRK: What?! I didn't know she was pregnant!
RABBI GORNSTEIN: Oh, she'sss not pregnant.
KIRK: Then how does she know she's going to have a baby?
RABBI GORNSTEIN: Lassst week she wasss at Spock's brisss, and she caught the foressskins!
KIRK: Um. mazal tov.
BONES: <drinks> Plus, she said they make excellent hair scrunchies in a pinch.
KIRK: Um, thanks for the tip...*


*With apologies to the Kinsey Sicks​

 

[Rat Boy]

Rabbi Gornstein: "This would be easier if you stopped moving it."

McCoy: "Lay off the sacramental wine, buddy."

 

[scottydog]

Spock: "Any unusual activity on the ship tonight, Mr. Stiles?"

Stiles: "All quiet, Mr. Spock. McCoy gave Chekov another physical. Oh, and a Jewish Gorn is about to stab the Captain in the crotch."

Spock: "As you were, then."

 

[M'Sharak]

Bones noticed the stone guy on the shelf standing at attention,
chuckled to himself and took a sip. He was beginning to peak.

 

[Outpost4]

McCoy: Wonderful stuff, that Romulan ale.

 

[battrekker]

One drink will make you larger, one drink will make you small.........

 

[battrekker]

^^ I guess somebody could photoshop a baby Jimmy on these ones!

Done!

Excellent job, Rat Boy!

Rabbi Gornstein: GOOCHI, GOOCHI, GOO!!!
McCoy: Dammit, Rabbi, you scared him! Now you're gonna have to use tweezers!

 

[Outpost4]

That wasn't lettuce that came from Sulu's hydroponic garden.

 

[The Squire of Gothos]

That wasn't lettuce that came from Sulu's hydroponic garden.

Nice

I'm trying to imagine which bit of TOS' incidental music would accompany that. Would it be that jangly guitar or the accompaniment with the woman singing?

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

McCoy: "How long is the Aquitanian ambassador going to be aboard? I want to reverse the gill transplants and have the ship drained."

Kirk: "What's wrong Bones? Afraid of a little water?"

McCoy: "Look at me Jim, I'm sitting here with a glass in my hand, but I'm drinking the ship. And when you take a leak, where do you think the piss goes?"

...


...


...

Kirk: "Take a note, Yeoman. Airlock the ambassador."

 

[Rat Boy]

Kirk: "Man, this is some good shit. Give me some sugar, baby..."

*Meanwhile, in the real world*

Gorn: "Stop it! You're stoned off your ass, invader! Don't make stick this in your eye!"

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Bones: Those pills that Scotty sold us sure are groovy!
Kirk: Huh? What was that, Bones? My salad was taking to me.

 

[Rat Boy]

The Real Slim Scotty: "As you can see, Boss, our stash is...hey, where'd it all go?"

Carl Spock: "I think I know where."

Diamond Jim Kirk: "This is the shit, man."

The Reverend Doctor McCoy: "Shhhhhhh! Don't look now, but I think the wall is melting."

 

[Nerys Myk]

BUCK ROGERS: Oh no! Not again!!!!!!*




* Someone here has to be a fan

 

[cooleddie74]

"Mellow out, Jim.

Even if he DOES make a mistake, he's got four cousins who are lawyers and plastic surgeons."
​

 

[cooleddie74]

"Press the green controls, Mr. Stiles.

I've always wanted to see what happens if someone does that."