TOS Caption Contest #120 - Slappy Nude Beer
- Thread starter Outpost4
- Start date
^^^I get it!
Fortunately, Spock had the lasagna.
McCoy: "Two appendixes out, one dose of cancer prevention, and three late-term abortions. All in all, a pretty good day <drinks>."
Scotty: "Och! Right in me nacelle caps!"
Kirk: "Starfleet doctors have to be very thorough. The nude jumping jacks are for your protection."
Kirk: "Miss Uhura will be gentle, I promise."
McCoy, drunk: "Here's hoping that stick falls out of your ass this new year, you fucking asshole. I've always hated you, you know that? DO YOU KNOW THAT?!? <throws drink at Spock>"
Nimoy only slightly regretted leaving the egg nog in the trunk of his car in the California sun for several hours before the party.
Kirk: "I don't think you should focus on other balls dropping, rather than the one in Times Square."
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<sniff sniff> Beer farts and astroglide?
You'll make Captain yet, boy.
Starfleet's best-ever secret alien detector: James Brown.
To cracking open an old dusty leather purse every seven years.
I beg your pardon?
McCoy: "Apple Pie MOONSHINE, from an old family recipe, car to try some?"
Spock: "After seeing what the Captain fornicated with last night, after drinking that stuff I think not"
Scotty: "Ack Who bleuw off?"
McCoy: "Well, if that don’t put pepper in the gumbo!"
Kirk:“This Isn't ....Oh my!"
Spock: "snicker"
Kirk:"Young man cound you please get out of my Chair?"
Peter: 'Your chair? Whatcha talkin bout Willis?'
Kirk: "... and when a mommy and a daddy love each other very much, they get together and have a baby."
Spock, offscreen: "Provided their DNA can be resequenced to an appropriate form, given the disparity between the two species of humanoid."
Kirk, glaring: "Yeah, there's that. Anyway, ..."
McCoy: "And then I told your mother, 'Let's get you back to my quarters and get some dick into you.'"
Peter: "So The Shocker goes like this?"
Kirk: "Yep. You've taken your first step into a larger world ..."
Kirk: "... and when a mommy and a daddy love each other very much, they get together and have a baby."
Spock, offscreen: "Provided their DNA can be resequenced to an appropriate form, given the disparity between the two species of humanoid."
Kirk, glaring: "Yeah, there's that. Anyway, ..."
Peter: "But what about two daddies?"
Kirk: "What made you think of that?"
Peter: "Mr. Sulu."
PETER KIRK:"Dad always said he had a bigger penis.
Guess he was right, huh?"
"Cheers, Spock.
You're the first officer in Enterprise history to plug up a toilet with both vegetable AND animal matter all in the same week."
Eyemorgs and Morgs...
The SOUL SHUTTLE Dancers!!!
- What do I say if the first officer questions my judgment?
- Just roll your eyes; your jackhole officer will make a comment.
- What do I do when he's a real jackhole?
- Look puzzled. Your first officer can't resist saying something anal.
- What do i do when....
- Communications officer.
KIRK:"...and that's why your Uncle Jim HAD to impregnate your mommy when daddy was away on a research mission.
Do you understand now, Peter?"
SPOCK:"Let us view this objectively.
I have no brain and am kept alive by a little silver metal hat. And yet I am not the one most embarrassed at this moment.
Fascinating."
