TOS Caption Contest #120 - Slappy Nude Beer

[Outpost4]

For the last contest of 2008, we have something that has never happened before.

I've always been able to pick a winner for each picture. There's always been one caption that's clearly been better than the rest. But not this time. For the Kirk's Awesome! picture, it was a three way tie this week. Even better was that it was the first, second and third wins for these three posters. The first time winner was shivkala, Ward Fowler repeated his win from last week and, in one that's long overdue, it's the third win for John_Picard. You don't know how many times you made the cut but didn't win, JP.

Kirk: "I'm bringing sexy back."

Kirk: "Wha-? You mean to tell me you've never brought a broad home, gone to the bathroom to remove all of your clothes, and returned to the room where she is and feigned surprise that she was there?"

Kirk: Sulu did what to you? Come over here and give Uncle Jim a hug. He'll make it all better.

For our other winners, we have Rat Boy adding another notch to his belt and highlander making the best "Sulu gay" joke. I let my buddy in the blue snow suit pick the winner for that caption and he wisely chose Triskelion's.

Uhura: "Is that a giant bowling ball coming at us?"

Sulu: "If I have to go down with the ship, I'm going down looking fabulous!!"

Want the whole yard yellow?

This next week we have McCoy toasting in the new year, a collapse of much of the crew and a bonus picture submitted by Rat Boy. He thought it tied in well with the latest Phase II New Voyages episode, and I agree. Plus I only had that pic in black and white!

Party like your Scotty!


TOS Caption Contest Pantheon of Winners

26138
A beaker full of death (4x)
Adam Ihle (4x)
AlphaTrionTJW
Alyssa (2x)
ancient
Atavachron (2x)
Bad Atom (2x)
Battrekker
brian
cakes516
CaptainJon
Captain Kate (2x)
Classic Fan
commodore64
cooleddie74 (19x)

cultcross
DeafPoet
Defcon (2x)
Diesel Micky Dolenz (10x)
Dohlman
DrBob (8x)
DS9Sega (5x)
EliyahuQeoni (3x)
EnsignHarper
FishDS9
galleywest (4x)
Gertch (22x)

goldbug (2x)
Guartho
Haggis and Tatties
Hambone (2x)
highlander (5x)

Plus one this time for a total of 6!
Jackson_Roykirk
J. Allen (2x)
jayrath
John_Picard (2x)

Plus one this time for a total of 3!
jptrekker
Kahloke
Kegek (2x)
Kirby
KJM
Mallory (4x)
MGagen
middyseafort (3x)
Mojochi
M'Sharak (9x)
NCC-1701 (6x)
Nebusj
Nerys Myk (22x)

Noname Given (2x)
NTRPRZ
Outpost4 (15x)

Quo Vadimus
Rat Boy (31x)

Plus one this time for a total of 32!
Redfern
SciFi75 (5x)
scottydog (18x)

Sector 7
Shatmandu (20x)

shivkala

First Time Winner!
Sir Rhosis (2x)
Super Grover
T'Bonz (8x)
terranova
Tharpdevenport (3x)
the 4th hanson bro (3x)
The Castellan
The Cutest of Borg (2x)
The Laughing Vulcan (13x)
The Old Mixer
The Squire of Gothos (10x)
The Tone (2x)
TigerOfDarkness (2x)
Tim M (3x)
Triskelion (10x)

Plus one this time for a total of 11!
Tristan
Turbo (2x)
vassa
Ward Fowler

Plus one this time for a total of 2!
Woulfe (4x)

Mudd Club

 

[Outpost4]

McCoy: My New Year's Resolution is to not drink before noon.

It was the 24 hour plomeek flu.

"I'm your little Peter."
"Not so loud, kid."

 

[Neopeius]

"Vulcans never 'get down', Captain."

 

[Plecostomus]

"I don't care, my Daddy is an Admiral and he said I could captain ANY ship I want."

 

[The Squire of Gothos]

"Say, have you ever watched a gladiator movie?"
"Sorry Sir, your helmsman already tried that one on me."

 

[Outpost4]

Peter: But first, the tranya!"

McCoy: Here's to your health!
Spock: But I am ill, Doctor.
McCoy: In that case, if I'm going to have to work on your screwy Vulcan plumbing, I better start drinking heavily.

A Vulcan brain fart could destroy a planet.

 

[The Squire of Gothos]

"Captain, please explain this "air guitar" one more time."

 

[Rat Boy]

McCoy: "Never go into it with a Georgian when death is on the line! Ack!"

*thud*

Thankfully, since Spock didn't have a brain, he didn't have to suffer through this episode like the rest of them.

Peter: "Uncle Jim, there's something I've been meaning to tell you, something personal."

Kirk: "Oh?"

Peter: "I'm thinking about growing a mullet."

Kirk: "What?! No nephew of mine will shame the family that way! You'll get your hair cut like a man, Mister!"

 

[Herkimer Jitty]

Spock: "Prune juice, Doctor?"

McCoy: "I've got some anal blockage that needs to boldly go, if you know what I mean."

Spock always wore his noise-cancelling headphones to parties.

Kirk: "That's the worst toupee I've ever seen."

 

[Nerys Myk]

KIRK: It's a good thing that Anthony is the Captain.

KIRK: I've got a bad feeling about this.

 

[cooleddie74]

"Go ahead.

Take it.

If you're worried I masturbated into it, don't.

I only do that on EVEN days."

Vulcan farts were horrible.

Farts from a Vulcan on complete life support with a tin controller hat on his head?

Lethal.

KIRK:"When I get back to Earth, I'm going to find Carol and plant my best foot up her ass."

 

[cooleddie74]

"Cheers, Spock."

"Frasier, Doctor."

 

[Nerys Myk]

SPOCK: Yes Doctor, I did switch belts with you.

 

[Outpost4]

McCoy: Happy New Year, Spock.
Spock: But that isn't for two days, Doctor.
McCoy: Don't want to miss it!

 

[Outpost4]

By the end of their capture, everyone had an outie.

 

[Alyssa]

An unhealthy attraction to a co-worker, shakey morals and a cabinet of sedatives are never a good mix.

With Kirk having gotten the electrocutioner belt, Scotty getting the sucker-punch belt and McCoy scoring the tickle button Spock would forever lament his brain not been present for the joys of the endless orgasm belt

Kirk: (Thinking) If I can screw up kiddy Picards head enough now then no-one will ever question who was the better Starfleet captain later.

 

[cooleddie74]

"Care for a wee nip of the creature, Spock?

Made it myself in the men's toilet on Deck 22."

KIRK:"Why...WHY'D he have to eat vegetarian chili before his brain was removed?!"

"Stick close to me, son.

And I'll teach you 101 different ways of scoring green slave-girl tail."

 

[cooleddie74]

SPOCK:"No thank you, Doctor.

Thankfully, my people were spared the aftereffects of hangovers and failed pregnancy tests."

 

[Rat Boy]

Peter: "Uncle Jim, what happened to my brothers Timmy and Sammy?"

Kirk: "Well, I'm afraid Timmy fell down a well and Sammy...well, I found a place that he'll fit right in..."

Vomit: "Fuck you Uncle Nazi for sticking me in the past!"

 

[Alrik]

McCoy:"Here's to easy women and good booze."

Spock:"Doctor, I do not partake."

McCoy (under his breath):"Guess that explain why you only get layed once every seven years."