TOS Caption Contest #108 - Movie Night!

[Gil T.Azell]

Spock: "Captain, those are Not Exact replica's of the one Bill Clinton used"

 

[Shatmandu]

The next Engineering breakfast mixer Ensign Smith attended with the Captain, he remembered not to take the last cruller.

 

[Herkimer Jitty]

Kirk: "This is boring."

Pike: "Beep."

Kirk: "Well, double dumbass on you!"

Spock: "Captain, must everything you purchase be phallic in nature?"

Little did Scotty know that the precious dilithium crystals were buried under a giant W.

 

[LeadHead]

Spock: The Enterprise as it appeared 14 years ago. At this time we had recorders monitoring the entire vessel.
Kirk: Why is the Quality so bad?
Spock: We couldn't afford Blue-Ray back then.

Captain, when I asked if you were going to purchase Red or White, I was not referring to the potatoes.

Kirk and Sulu didn't last long as a gymnastics duo.

 

[M'Sharak]

Don Pardo: Rarely attempted, and never before captured
on film, it's... the Double Flying Butt-Pliers™!

 

[Gagarin]

Color is all wrong, handrail isn't right, Spock smiles - and there's all those lamp-shaped viewers. Reconstructionist crap! It's not fitting in with canon! Let's ban it - that'll show 'em.

Jimmy used to work on the docks. Unions been on strike, he's down on his luck - it's tough.

Late at night when no one was looking, command division folk would sneak into the engineering division. They'd turn down the gravity (.80 was their favorite), and have zero-G leg wrestling competititons.

 

[Nerys Myk]

MENDEZ: Dancing With The Stars sucks this season

KIRK: You gotta admire Bea Arthur for trying though.

 

[Balthier the Great]

New for the 2356 Olympics on Romulus -- Romulan Jiujutsu.

 

[Shatmandu]

U.S.S. Enterprise Rule #1: NEVER put your chocolate in Captain Kirk's peanut butter.

 

[Outpost4]

The Kama Sutra didn't translate well into Klingon.

 

[Brian]

Kirk: "What!? They were out of cucumbers.

And 'trojans' apparently haven't been invented yet. You should see the looks I got."

 

[Outpost4]

Kirk: But, Spock, I bought butter, too.

 

[Shatmandu]

Spock: "Jim ... Edith Keeler must diet ..."

 

[Rat Boy]

Spock: "Are those...tubers?"

*porn music*

McCoy: "Do we have to watch this part?"

 

[Shatmandu]

Kirk: "I clearly said, 'smoked sausage' and not 'smoke my sausage.'"
<rumbling in courtroom>
Kirk: "Case dismissed?"
Pike: "Beep-beep."

 

[Shatmandu]

Ambassador Friglap, onscreen: "We wish to negotiate a little longer."
Kirk: "May we speak with Mister Sulu?"
Ambassador Friglap: "He is ... occupied ..."
Kirk, whispering: "Yeah, literally ..."
Ambassador Friglap: "I heard that."

The first exhibit in Kirk's Temporal Malfeasance trial was a doozy ...

 

[John Picard]

Kirk: "You know, Spock, Captain Pike is a lousy conversationalist but he's an excellent channel changer."

Spock: "Agreed, Captain."

McCoy: "Hey Chris, switch to the Weather Channel. I want to see if it stopped raining in Perth yet."

Pike: <tersely> *BEEP*

McCoy: "Thanks, pal."

 

[Jackson_Roykirk]

Kirk: [annoyed] No, Chris, I don't know why....
...maybe a better question would be why the hell does your chair only go "beep".

 

[Rat Boy]

Kirk: "Bad enough you had to creep the hell out of the Rebels with this, Spock, but what did we do to deserve this?"

Pike: "Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep!"

Kirk: "Trust me, that photo of her mother with the bikini and the shotgun was indeed Photoshopped."

 

[Triskelion]

Spock: It's a small thermal exhaust port, right below the main port -
Pike: Beeeeeeeeep
Spock (miffed): I can arrange that!!

Kirk: They didn't have any stone knives or bearskins, so I got you a baguette and a salami. Maybe you can apply your vast Vulcan intellect to make a metaphor with these instead.