TOS Caption Contest #107: The Inmate Runs The Asylum

[cooleddie74]

KIRK:"QUICK...look really gay and eager and the Klingons will get creeped out and leave us be!!"

 

[Gertch]

Sulu: "Well, say bye bye to Khan and his new home."
Chekov: "Darn. I can't believe I slept through his whole time onboard."

 

[Shatmandu]

From then on, Spock remembered to never wander the front of the bridge while suffering from jock itch.

 

[Rat Boy]

Chekov: "Did Oprah just say vhat I thought her say?"

Sulu: "Nine thousand penises? Oh my."

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Sulu: "That can't be right..."

Chekov: "Curse that George Lucas IV, Lando and the Ewoks were nowhere near the Cantina when Greedo and Han shot it out."

Sulu: "You know Fredericks in botany says he's seen a print where Greedo doesn't even shoot."

Chekov: "The legendary..."

Sulu: "Original cut. And he says he's seen the Holiday Special."

Chekov: "Now you're just pulling my leg."

 

[scottydog]

From then on, Spock remembered to never wander the front of the bridge while suffering from jock itch.

And from then on, Uhura remembered to use Spock's frequent bouts of jock itch to flash Scotty.

 

[Shatmandu]

After a bad batch of Saurian Brandy, McCoy and Kirk challenged each other to a nude jumping jack contest that lasted seven hours.

 

[Triskelion]

Scotty: Uhura can't you block the signal or something, lassie? I canna bear another minute of that caterwaullin'!
Uhura: But the other crew like American Idol, Mr Scott.

Spock, just look at those matchbox cars explode!

 

[Mysterion]

CHEKOV: No more of that "chicken salad" in the officer's mess for me!

SULU: I sympathize, but do you need to do that here?

 

[Shatmandu]

It secretly pleased Spock to play marbles with Horta eggs.

Kirk, offscreen: "... and so, we will be removing all troughs from the men's rooms throughout the ship."

 

[cooleddie74]

CHEKOV:"VOW...

vould you look at de aft engines on DAT battle cruiser!"

SULU:"Yeah...

It must work out."

"Don't look so amused or surprised, Spock.

Spray-painted, corrugated cardboard tends to go up in flames when you toss almost anything into it."

 

[cooleddie74]

SULU:"Just how long is this Howard Stern guy gonna get AWAY with this kind of filth?!"

 

[scottydog]

Sulu: "Well, say bye bye to Khan and his new home."
Chekov: "Darn. I can't believe I slept through his whole time onboard."

Sulu: "You're certainly going to get an earful for that!"

 

[M'Sharak]

"What, behind the rabbit?"
"It is the rabbit!"

 

[Shatmandu]

Kirk, offscreen, singing: "I'm ... a ... rock ... it ... MAN!"

 

[Rat Boy]

Kor (off screen): "What the? What's this bag doing here on fire? Here, I'll just put it out with my boot...what?! Holy shit! I'm going to get Kirk for this!"

 

[cooleddie74]

KIRK:"If you beat me in the 100-meter dash, you get to borrow my old-timey book on herbal remedies and medications for a month. If I win, you don't play that stupid harp of yours for the same month.

GO!!!"

 

[cooleddie74]

SULU:"OUCH.

How does he fit his whole fist in there? If I could do that, I'd never leave my quarters."

 

[Balthier the Great]

That's the last time we let Scotty sample Klingon Ale at a Renassaince Faire!

Sulu: The secret to great navigation Mr. Chechov, is watching gay porn. See? a little to the left, then a little to the right.

Chechov: Are you *sure* this is an official Starfleet training video?

Now is not the time to be playing Guitar Hero, mister!
[/quote]

 

[Rat Boy]

Chekov: "Let that be a lesson to you, Hikaru. Beavers always trump Trojans."