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TOS Caption Contest #103 - Command Chair

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Kirk knew he was going to lose the Ship's Talent Competition when the bridge crew were nonchalant about his Liza impression.
 
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SPOCK:"Fascinating...

I was under the lifelong impression a human male could not swallow that much without chewing."
 
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Yeoman Janice Rand transferred off the Enterprise as soon as she learned about Captain Kirk's secret dirty diaper fetish.

-or-
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The real reason Carol Marcus didn't want Jim to help raise David.
 
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Kirk got such a sexual thril from high fives, that he nearly erupted in orgasm when high fiving Checov and Spock. At that moment Sulu took the oppritunity to enter from ... behind*.


* = see shocked expression on his face.
 
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Spock: "I know he's become incontinent, Doctor, but did you have to add the bonnet and pacifier?"
 
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Roddenberry: Well Bill, we've already done the first white/black kiss on TV, the first übergeek sex symbol, the first Russian dreamboat, the first Asian who can drive - today we're going to try the first Abe Lincoln Dirty Sanchez.

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Cue Abe!

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Breathe it in, fellow thespians. History was made here today.
 
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Spock: "I'm absolutely sure I left my extra set of ears here."
Sulu: "Possibly the captain has them. Where is he since this is our bridge shift anyhow?"
*Hailing whistle*
"McCoy to bridge"


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"TOTAL has that much calcium?

And it takes how many bowls of my other cereal to equal one of it?!"
 
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"Jim-Jim want Carol boobie!!

JIM-JIM LIKEY MILF!!!"


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UHURA:"No wonder the Captain vanished...look at his chair.

Feel this. No proper lumbar support."
 
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Spock:"I've seen this phenomenon before. While viewing earth historical tapes. It was a story broadcast on "Television" about a US agent in the 1800's who was given a potion that sped up his metabolism. I believe the episode was entitled "The Night of the Burning Diamond."
 
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Spock: "Mr. Sulu, I believe that you have applied an excessive quantity of AstroGlide to the captain's chair for the purpose at hand."

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Kirk: "SULU!"
 
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SPOCK:"It appears we were all wrong.

The Captain HAD eaten his last burrito before disappearing."


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"Hey...this is my Charles Nelson Reilly...

NYAH! NYAH! NYAH!

It'd work better with old eyeglasses...but...you get the drift."
 
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