Contest: ENTER TNG Caption This! #575: Around the Table

The uncomfortable moment when you realize you have too many people to play Pop-o-Matic Trouble.

 

TROI: The Imzadi thing only works with me, Will!!!
K'EHLYER: I'm having no trouble picking up on what the petaQ is thinking.
PICARD: Oh, I think we're all picking up on it.

 

Captain’s Log: I noticed the browser tab saying “How to tell the real father..” before she closed it. I’m not sure what to think...

 

TROI: Try Wesley’s father’s name.
CRUSHER: J...E...A...
PICARD: Merde!!

 

"Look, Dr. Selar, I don't know what you have to gain by trying to convince us you're a Klingon. What's next, a Q? An Andorian?"

 

PICARD: Contrary to urban legend, Lt. Bortus may be able to eat a bowlful of Tribbles for breakfast without ill effect, but I expected more sensibility from my Chief of Security and a Klingon Ambassador...

 

Picard: Federation Underboss Oxmyx sent me to collect his "piece of this action".

(TFTW Leadhead, your piece of the action is in the mail)

 

And so Picard began the guessing game of: Who Accidentally Sat on the Dildos he placed on random chairs. Two or three were evident.

 

Crusher: What is Wesley DOING?!

Troi: I wouldn't worry, Beverly. It's a very healthy activity for a young man.

Picard: Hmm... (takes mental notes)

 

"See Captain? Right here. Some type of alien species has impregnated Counselor Troi with a bun baby. I wouldn't put my face so close."

 

PICARD: Out of respect to Dr Crrusher, let's remove all the Jacks from the deck.

 

CRUSHER: Look at all these other options, Deanna. What you have on is worst possible choice for a uniform.

 

PICARD: So. I'm following up on a report from one of you that states Mr Worf is cheating you blind.

 

Data: I see your rolling of the letter 'R' is coming along nicely, Captain. Those Berlitz tapes will have you speaking Spanish in no time.

 

PICARD:There have been a few noise complaints from the neighbors. So, I'm gonna have to ask you to keep it down. People are trying to sleep.
WORF: "Keeping it down" is without honor!

 

PICARD: Mr. Data, now that I have seen your cards in your hand, want to deal me in?

 

Chief Engineer log:...that’d teach me not to use the X-ray mode. I just learned that the captain is a briefs man

 

Picard: There are four lights.

 

Picard: "I hope you don't mind, but I brought my glass of emotional-support urine to the game."

 

PICARD: Funny. I don't recall seeing Klingons in any Casino Royale re-enactment during my service...

 

CRUSHER: Who's this Pulaski person we're picking up at Starbase 112?