Contest: ENTER TNG Caption This! #568: Greatest Hits

[LeadHead]

Hello and welcome to the new contest!

First up to the plate, we have the "Battle of the Physicians" Award, going to @bolak for:

Computer, initiate program Pulaski Smackdown Alpha-17


Next, we have the "Shouldn't there be more ships with the Enterprise all the time in that case?" Award, going to @inflatabledalek for:

Worf: We're taking this Wagon Train to the stars idea too seriously.



Next, we have the "Haircuts of Treason" Award, going to @JirinPanthosa for:

TROI: Your father was obviously a traitor.
ROMULAN COMMANDER: All he did was ask for a different haircut than a bowl cut.
TROI: Like I said, a TRAITOR!


Next, we have the "Morning Show Shakeup!" Award, going to: @IMC Headquarters for:

"I'm the new host of the Today show's third hour."


Next, we have the "Proper Carriage Etiquette" Award, going to @Mr Soak for:

Data: Please refrain from manspreading.

The Award goes to @shivkala for:

Troi: *Personal Log* I will never again complain about my father's family's Thanksigiving dinners turning political!

Two KBL's!

@Laura Cynthia Chambers:

Data: "I am sorry, Commander. You can ride "shot-gun" next time."
Riker: "Phooey."


@Leviathan:

Troi: Viinerine is PEOPLE!

Many thanks to everyone who participated! Congrats to our winners!

Obviously there are still a lot of winners I haven't announced yet. My goal is for there to be a LOT of winners announced over Thanksgiving Weekend.

This new contest is aimed to end the weekend of the 17th-18th.

Enjoy!

 

[LeadHead]

Riker: Any requests?

Everyone but Riker: NIGHTBIRD!

Riker: Dangit.

La Forge: (Singing) Love playing music. Hope nobody smashes this instrument...

Data: (Singing) Felius Catus....

Picard: Wow, if you play this instrument for hours in a row, the continuity of the X-Men movies starts to make sense.

Keiko was disappointed that Miles had organized a competing brass instrumental concert on Deck 12.

 

[TribbleFeeder]

Deanna: Will, you’ve been going a little overboard with the “trom-BONER” jokes and I sense another one coming.
Riker: That’s what she sai—
Deanna: Please stop.



Geordi: Isn’t this delightful, Worf?
Worf: Your pants are without honor.



Data: Spot, I assume your high pitched reaction to my guitar playing indicates that you are pleased. I will continue...
Spot: RHHHOWW!

 

[JirinPanthosa]

TFTW!

TROI: Freebird!
RIKER: You know I don't play rock songs.
TROI: Nightbird!
RIKER: If I leave here tomorrow...

WORF: Geordi doesn't get to be the Bard. He lacks the charisma score.

DATA: There's a lady who's sure all that glitters is gold, and she's buying a stairway to heaven...I fail to understand this song. There are many minerals that glitter that are not gold. And a stairway leading to heaven would be economically inviable, it would be much more cost effective to take a shuttlecraft or a transporter. And a zeppelin made of lead would not be a suitable zeppelin, as it would not be light enough to get into the air. This entire song is highly questionable.

PICARD: You know being a morally evolved human really sucks sometime. A 20th century human would totally take advantage of you.
KAMALA: Look on the bright side. You can be smug about this forever.

KEIKO: Why are you playing Freebird?
DATA: Is that not what the man in the audience requested?

 

[Mr Soak]

Thanks for the win

Troi: Eyes up here, 'bone-boy.

LaForge (highly pitched): Tiptoe, through the tulips.
Worf: Don't tell LaForge I said this, but that is an honourable song.

Data: Okay Lucille, you will have to do my weeping for me. I cannot cry.

Picard: So this is the High Court of Percussion, and this is how you bang your gavels.

Data: If you like, I have another instrument that you can blow.

 

[Herbert]

Riker: Why yes, my 'bone is quite large, thank you very much.

 

[Herbert]

LaForge: Any requests?
Riker: <offscreen> Fancy Man!
LaForge: Uhh...I don't know that one.
Riker: You're certainly dressed for it.

 

[Noname Given]

Geordi thought for sure he'd score some female action at the Holodeck Renaissance Fair; but as usual, he was striking out.

Worf on the other hand...

 

[Qonundrum]

 

[Laura Cynthia Chambers]

Riker (pouty): "You don't like my trombone playing..."
Troi (furiously backpedaling): "No, no, Will, that's not what I said! I said it reminds me of that time we went to that Federation conference on beryllium isoform sequencing. You know, when we held hands?"
La Forge: "Wasn't that the same weekend you two tripped in the park and got up to your neck in rueselium slime which quickly hardened, necessitating you to be chipped out painstakingly?"
Troi (hissing whisper): "Shut up, Geordi!"

 

[Leviathan]

TFTKBLA!

Riker: ...so who else would like to ride the Bone Train?

 

[Laura Cynthia Chambers]

Crusher: "It could be worse. We could be stuck in an elevator listening to a tinny version of that playing non-stop..."
Q: "Your wish is my command!"
*poof*
Crusher: "I hate it when he goes into genie mode."

 

[Leviathan]

Worf: You've not experienced Ani'mal House until you've seen it in the original Klingon! OBSERVE!

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Geordi: Sorry Worf, Belushi did it better.

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[Laura Cynthia Chambers]

Data: "Query: what does it mean to "play it by ear"?"

 

[inflatabledalek]

TFTW Leadhead!

Frakes: So, I said I could play the trombone really well and they gave my character a trombone. Gates said she can dance really well and they gave her character dancing shoes. Marina said she can eat chocolate really well and they gave her character the full Willy Wonka. What did you say to the producers your thing was Levar?

Levar: Internet memes abour rolling under doors and never getting fucked.

Geordi: Mr Tambourine man, sing a song for me...

Data: I will show that 12th Doctor which SF hero jams the best.

Picard: I do love tickling the ivories with you.

Data: This one time, in band camp...

 

[Nerys Myk]

RIKER: Who's the joker who glued my plunger to my trombone?

 

[Laura Cynthia Chambers]

Picard: "How does it go again? Oh, yeah..."

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Riker (embarrassed): Don't ask me how it got there, Doctor. Just get this thing out of my spleen!

 

[Nerys Myk]

DATA: I fear the gentleman I met at the crossroads might have tricked me.

 

[Mojochi]

Riker: You know... if you don't give it a rest, I can show you how good a shot I am with this thing's spit valve

Little did Geordi know that his annoying renditions of Stevie Wonder & Ray Charles songs would end with one of Ray's biggest hits. "I'm Busted"

2nd Officer's Personal Log: This current so called "Axe" sounds much better than my last one, which as it turns out was actually just an instrument for chopping wood

Kamala: I'm impressed by how talented you are with your fingers

As Miles watched, his jealousy grew, as he stewed over the fact that he wanted Data back on violin in HIS band