Crusher: Do you have a minute to talk about our Lord and Savior, The Great Bird of the Galaxy?
Riker: Be prepared for anything!
Worf: Yes, Commander, that is why I am assuming this position, so better to handle any physical threats that may emerge.
Riker: I more meant either Wesley or Barclay, pleasuring themselves.
Data: As I suspected Sir, your plan to trick them by telling the valet to "bring our transporter beam around and there's an extra buck in it if you don't scratch it" did not seem to do the trick.
Pulaski: Medical Officer's Log--Dr. Crusher had a standing monthly appointment with the Captain to check, what she called, his "virility." I am sure I know what that means, but on the off chance it is a real thing, I am on way to fulfill the appointment.
Worf: Sir, it appears something blasted a hole in this wall.
Picard: Keep up with the deductive skills, Lt., and one day, you might make Security Chief.
Yar: Over my dead body.
Leadhead: And the "Low Effort" Award goes to shivkala!