Contest: ENTER TNG Caption This! #542: Knock, Knock

[Leviathan]

TFTW!

Riker: Hey, anybody seen a ghost?

Manager: Thank you for coming so quickly. The guests are starting to ask questions and I'm running out of excuses.

Data: Has this ever happened before?

Manager: Well, most of the original staff knows about the twelfth floor ... The disturbances, I mean ... But it's been quiet for years...Up until two weeks ago ... It was never ever this bad, though.

Data: Yes, sir. Don't worry. We handle this kind of thing all the time.

Guest: What are you supposed to be?

Riker: We're exterminators, somebody saw a cockroach up on twelfth.

 

[Orac]

Crusher: Counsellor Troi tells me you touched her butt.
Picard: Rubbish! And even if it was true I was probably wasted so it doesn't count.

 

[tharpdevenport]

Picard: "What the merde?! You're not the two space whores I ordered from Ro. Get out of here!"

 

[Qonundrum]

Data: Readings suggest we have traveled back in time to the Roman empire.
Worf: Your tricorder is wrong, I see electric light fixtures.
Riker: Who cares, let's get the togas out and the acyclovir in, who's with me!

 

[Qonundrum]

Picard: Okay, when I see one of you individually I know it's safe. But together? What are trying to base the relieving of my command for this week?

Riker: "I'm hurrying!"
Worf: "Thank you, commander, but you do not know what it is like to drink too much prune juice."

Yar: Apache Chief's legs are so tall!
Worf: That's not all.
Picard (thinking): This was not a good week for the writers to play crossover with the Superfriends.

 

[tharpdevenport]

Yar: Apache Chief's legs are so tall!
Worf: That's not all.
Picard (thinking): This was not a good week for the writers to play crossover with the Superfriends.

Worf: "Lieutenant ... that's not a leg....."

 

[Leviathan]

Yar: Looks like a plot hole.

 

[Nerys Myk]

YAR: Wait a second. This is the wrong room.

 

[Laura Cynthia Chambers]

Yar: "Yep, you've got a termite problem, all right."
Picard: "Lt. Obvious, please refrain from stating the...well, you know."

 

[Herbert]

PICARD: Wha...? I WASN'T LOOKING AT PORN!!!!

Picard: It was.....it was....girlsofearlgrey.com. Yeah, that's it. Fully clothed. Very tasteful. I might order the calendar.

 

[Laura Cynthia Chambers]

Riker and Worf were eager to try out the Enterprise's new "Insta-chair" feature.

 

[Tenacity]

Picard: "Worf, you need to be more careful."
Worf: "I regret the hole in the bulkhead."
Yar: "I think he meant the three people standing in front of the bulkhead."
Worf: "I said I was sorry."

 

[Laura Cynthia Chambers]

Data: "Sir, you are mistaken. None of our names are on the register."
Riker: "Data, that's not what I meant when I said I had reservations..."

 

[JirinPanthosa]

PICARD: Who's got one or more thumbs and can talk down to omnipotent energy creatures? This guy.

WORF: Alright now, ten air squats.

FRAKES: Hello, we're here for the Caesar's Palace Trek fan panel. Who should I be speaking to?

PICARD: I'm sorry, I'm just not feeling this. I just have no sexual tension with you.

CROSBY: I'm telling you Michael. You should leave with me. Both of us will have much more fulfilling careers and be far better known if we get the hell out of Trek.
DORN: I'm not so sure.

 

[CorporalCaptain]

Tasha: Oh, yeah. It was unlocked after all.

 

[Mr Soak]

Riker: Keiko's locked herself in the holodeck and she's about to give birth. O'Brien says you're the only one he trusts to be there to deliver the baby.
(Pause)
(Looks at Worf)
Riker: It's not a projectile delivery.

 

[Herbert]

Picard: Mr Worf, you know there's a door right next to you.
Worf: When you have a phaser you don't need doors

 

[tharpdevenport]

Yar: "Heeeeeyyyyy ... this doesn't look like the real Guardian of Forever time portal prop. I think it's a fake replica. That eBay guy said it was real!"

Gene (off screen): "She knows too much, eliminate her, Dorny."

 

[Laura Cynthia Chambers]

Picard: "Check it out. I just liked your latest log postings."

Picard: "What do you think? Has all the facepalming I do finally ruined my nose?"

 

[Finn]

Crusher: Are you watching the Clash of Wineries on HGTV again?

Picard: No....Robert was voted out a while back *chuckle*

First Officer's Log. "I programmed the computer to have K'Ehleyr and Jadzia attack him in some kind of mud flat. He is going to be in heaven"

Riker: Stop that chiming

Data: I apologize, Sir. the app won't stop notifying me that it's time to feed Spot