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Contest: ENTER TNG Caption This! #528: I'll just sit over here

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Picard: Is Data skiving off again? I bet he's down on the holodeck pretending to be the world's worst Sherlock Holmes. Less Jeremy Brett, more Jeremy TIT. Am I right Number One or am I right?


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Worf's Personal Log: "Of course I'll take the conn" I said. "How hard can it be?" I said. "The blind guy does it!" ARRRRRGGGHHHHHH, how do you turn off the screensaver?


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Riker: Now have, I already slept with this one? My spreadsheet has gotten so messed up I can't follow it any more...


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Ro: Hey, beardo! Not so keen to stand with your crotch thrust in his face I see!


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Data: I am sorry Sir, whilst your variation on the "Man looks at woman as his girlfriend looks at him" meme with you as the girlfriend, "A hot redhead" as the boyfriend and "My dead best friend" as the other woman is perfectly fine, but the moment has passed. No one cares about that any more. It's all missing letters from the British Prime Ministers noticeboard now.

Picard: I spent hours on that!
 
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Riker: Okay, Ms. Extra,The Enterprise computer system is controlled by three primary main processor cores, cross-linked with redundant melacortz-ramistat 14-kiloquad interface modules. The core element is based on an FTL nanoprocessor with 25 bilateral kelilactirals. With twenty of those being slaved into the primary Heisenfram terminals. Now, you know what a bilateral kelilactiral is?"

Extra: Of course I do, You buffoon . I am not stupid!
 
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Who could ever forget that time Data played "Musical Workstations" with the site to site transport function?

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Yar: No Worf, no one said anything about ramming speed. Stop that

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Riker might've been warned that he was destabilizing the containment field if only Lt. Jae weren't mute

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Geordi: If it's more comforting for you, I could talk without contractions, sir

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It must be Commander Riker's music program, Sir. This entry is titled "Wild Night with Minuet"
 
Thanks for the win!
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Picard: What do you mean it's not on TV? I have to sign up for yet another streaming service.

Yar: You would be supporting the franchise you claim to love, Sir.

Riker: Lt., when the Captain is ranting, you back him up! That's your job!

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Worf: Do you ever feel like a plastic bag drifting through the wind?

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Riker: Personal Log--Crap, I came over here to flirt with the newest bridge officer, but that's not working. I can't let them know that, so I have to appear like I'm being useful. But, I just realized I have no idea what this station is for.

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Riker: Personal Log--Should I admit I didn't lose my memory or just enjoy this? I think I'll enjoy it. And bag Ensign Ro in the process. Oh, yeah!

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Data: I'm reading a dip in quality as if our adventures were dredged up from a script to the never made series with the original crew due to a writer's strike.
 
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Worf: <talking> Which Romulan petaQ designed these chairs? I will gut the taHqeq and send him to Gre'thor!
Worf: <thinking> These loungy chairs are amazing. They cradle my buttocks like the furry hide of a targ. I have to convince Gowron to install these on all Klingon ships.
 
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Riker: "When are you off shift?"
Jae: "Top of the hour: "
Riker: "Good, my quarters five minutes after that, bring a friend."
Jae: "A good friend?"
Riker: "Well, no one you'd ever want to look in the eye again."
 
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